Don't Budge
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: This is Budge Q. Cullen's story from The Cube Series. You need to read those first. Budge is the problem child of Edward and Bella, this is his story.
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Characters. This is a side story to The Cube Series; you have to read those before this story makes sense. Also remember Budge is NOTHING like Edward.**

1

With a name like Budge Q. Cullen I was destined to be different. It wasn't a bad thing, because the world is a big place and there is plenty of room for individuality. Luckily, I had a mother who encouraged me to be whoever I wanted to be. She constantly asked me what shape I liked best, but I didn't care about shapes, I liked things most people didn't see. When others saw a garden of pretty flowers I noticed the grass, or when most people focused on the leaves of a tree I liked the roots the best.

The bell rang and I headed out of my last class with joy. I hated school and I knew most of the teachers tolerated me because of my brother, Trooper. They all loved him and he convinced them to give me the benefit of the doubt. I heard someone call my name and turned around to find Natalie Newton walking toward me.

"You forgot your backpack," she said, and then thrust her large chest out at me.

I walked up to her looking at her boobs, so she folded her arms to make them even larger. I reached out and pulled her tight V-neck shirt and looked at her bra. It was a thin layer of black lace and I had no idea how it contained her massive hooters.

She laughed and said, "You should come to my birthday party next Saturday."

"Give me your bra and I'll come," I bargained.

She narrowed her eyes and stared at me to see if I was serious. I just stood there with a blank expression so she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. She pulled the straps down her arms and then pulled the lace from her shirt and handed it to me.

I had an overwhelming urge to put it on and see if I could do that trick, but I would do it later when no one was around. I put it in my back pocket and said, "So where's your party?"

"Are you really coming, it is the same day as Trooper's birthday you know."

"No problem," I said, trying to sound confident. They were both turning seventeen and I was only fifteen, but I had way more propensity for danger than my perfect brother.

She took a step toward me, letting her free chest press against mine and said, "The party will be in my bedroom, don't be late."

Then she walked away. I pulled out my phone and sent off a text to most of the male population of the school and informed them I had one of Natalie's bras for sell to the highest bidder. Trooper walked up as I hit send and shook his head at me.

"Mom will freak if she knows you're talking to Natalie Newton," he informed me.

"She found my backpack," I informed him. "But mom doesn't need to know."

"Come on," he said, and turned to walk off, "Emma is driving today."

I followed him from the school and saw a group of girls so I walked over to their huddle. Dreamer rolled down the window of Emma's car and yelled, "Budge, come on, Dad will be waiting for us."

"Just a minute," I called out, so she stuck her head out the window and screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs. She would not stand for my father having to wait one extra second for us to return home. I finally headed toward the car just to shut her up.

Trooper got in the front passenger side and looked a bit embarrassed at being chauffeured by Emma. He usually drove his car, but sometimes she insisted on driving. I got into the back and sat next to Patrick. He looked at me and said with a big smile, "I just farted."

"Dude, come on, stop acting like a middle schooler," I said to educate him.

"I am a middle schooler," he pointed out.

"I know, but you don't want to act like it. You're a pretty big kid, girls don't know your age," I said, and he glanced around at all the high school girls with just a hint of fear.

"Watch the crosswalk," Trooper said to Emma. She huffed loudly and glared at him. She was a year older than him but he acted like her very life was his responsibility. Trooper was crazy about Emma, but she just toyed with him.

I looked out the window at the trees and began making my plan to sneak out to see Natalie. I would have to keep it very quiet since my mother would rather see me dead then with Natalie. We pulled into the McCarty's driveway and Dreamer saw my father waiting on the porch. She jumped from the car and ran screaming across the yard.

"Thanks for the ride," Trooper said, probably meaning, "Will you marry me?"

"Yeah," I chimed in, "I didn't think we would survive."

"Shut up," Emma said to me and then looked at her car. "You forgot your backpack," she complained.

I walked back over to get it, knowing I never kept anything important in it. Trooper headed to the porch but I went to the back of the house to check my text messages. I had a bidding war going on and it was up to seventy-five bucks already.

I walked through the back door and found my mom sorting clothes in the washroom. "Budge," she called out, "Smell this." She shoved one of my father's shirts in my face so I took a big whiff. "Does it smell like perfume?" she asked.

"No," I said with a shrug. "It smells like soap."

She pulled it back to her own nose and smelled it several times. I decided it was time to work on an alibi for next Saturday. "I'm going to bed early next Saturday; I'm tired of keeping track of all my stuff."

"Just let Trooper know," she said, and smelled the shirt again.

I headed into the kitchen and found Dreamer telling dad about every moment of her day. It was nauseating because eleven year olds don't have very interesting days. I grabbed a cookie and went upstairs. Trooper was turning on his computer when I passed his door so I stopped and asked, "Do you have anything planned for your birthday?"

Now it was easy for me to lie, although I rarely did. I usually just said whatever was on my mind and didn't care if it angered anyone, but Trooper was terrible at lying. He worried about other's feelings and the consequences of being caught in a lie. He looked away from me and shook his head. "No, nothing special," he mumbled.

I walked all the way into his room and asked, "Come on, what are you planning?"

"This is personal Budge, don't ask," he said, and refused to look at me.

"So you don't mind if I make plans for that night?" I pressed him.

"No, mom will most likely have a cake or something for dinner, but go ahead and make plans for later."

I moved to his bed and sat down, needing to speak frankly with my big brother. "Listen," I said softly, "Have you had sex with anyone?"

Trooper's eyes shot up to mine and his face paled a little. "Who told you that?" he demanded.

"Nobody, I'm just asking for some advice, maybe a pointer or two," I assured him.

"Who are you having sex with?" he asked, like he was my mom or something.

"Nobody special," I said, and suddenly wanted to check to see what the bid was up to, instead I kept my eyes on my brother. He sighed and came to sit next to me.

"Budge, sex should be with someone special. You should wait until you fall in love and….."

"Oh God, you are so much like dad," I laughed. "I'm never falling in love, and I don't plan on being a monk, so I'm pretty much going to do any girl willing to let me."

"Then I have no advice for you," he said, like his refusal to talk about sex would keep me from finding out anything.

I laughed and tried to point out something to him. "If you don't get over your love for Emma you'll be the one remaining a virgin forever. She is never going to hump you." He wouldn't look at me again so I patted him on the back and said, "Nice talking to you bro."

I got to the door when he finally called me back to his bed. He walked over to make sure the door was locked and then opened his drawer and pulled out a box of condoms and handed me a few. I laughed loudly, having so much more respect for Trooper than I originally had.

"Don't lose those," he said emphatically.

"Who are you screwing?" I asked him softly, dying to know who Trooper found worthy over Emma.

"Nobody, I just have plans of my own for my birthday."

My eyes grew wide and I looked at him with shock. "Are you getting a hooker for your birthday?" I asked, because I was going to completely rework my birthday list.

"No you idiot, she's a virgin," he said, and I grimaced at the thought. I wasn't sure how two virgins were going to have any fun at all. I was glad my plans were with Natalie. I shrugged and headed out of his room.

"Budge," he yelled, "You forgot your backpack."

I walked back into his room and picked it up off the floor. I got into my own room and tossed the allusive backpack into the corner and pulled out my phone. I had a winning bidder at eighty-seven bucks. I turned on my own computer and plugged in my ipod so I could listen to music while I surfed online.

A knock sounded on my door and my dad peeked in. "I'm leaving for the club now," he said.

"I'm sure Dreamer is having an aneurysm," I replied.

"How's science going?" he asked, since I was on school probation for mixing chemicals and setting off the sprinkler system.

"Nobody died," I said, and brought up my facebook account. I saw a message from Natalie and quickly minimized it so dad wouldn't see. I looked over my shoulder to see him looking at me. "Anything else?" I asked.

"No, don't give your mother any problems tonight and listen to Trooper," he instructed, just like he did every night.

"Me? Never," I said, and he laughed and shut the door.

I surfed the web for a bit and tried to find some instruction on how to rock it like a sex God. I found a site that talked about different positions and how to keep from shooting my wad too early. It suggested concentrating on something extremely nonsexual, like baseball stats or something. I wasn't sure it was possible, since almost everything made me think of sex.

I suddenly heard my mom yelling like someone had really pissed her off. I walked from my room and saw Trooper running down the stairs. "Mom, what's wrong?" he asked her.

"Trooper, I'm so sorry. I tried to keep Assper from coming to your birthday dinner but when I invited Alice and Jasmine she just assumed he could come too."

Trooper sighed heavily and then said, "Mom, don't plan anything special. I have plans with friends that night."

"Not Nastylie," she gasped, and I felt my spine stiffen.

"No mom, she has a different set of friends than me," he explained.

I smiled, because Natalie was a lot closer than he thought. My mother looked over at the oven and said, "I can't eat now, my appetite is ruined all because of that Southern table thumper."

"I'll feed Dreamer and Budge," Trooper offered, and I cleared my throat, causing my brother to look up at me.

"You're not feeding me unless you grow an impressive set of jugs," I informed him.

My mother waved her hand to dismiss me and mumbled as she walked away, "They all leak so don't be too impressed."

I watched Trooper walk to the oven and check on the food. My eyes then focused on a kitchen chair and it looked an awful lot like one in a picture I just saw online with a couple doing it in a chair. It hit me like divine inspiration; I was going to do Natalie in a chair, how difficult could it be?


	2. Chapter 2

2

The next morning I came down to breakfast to find my mother eating chocolate chips. It was a sign she was stressed about something. I assumed it had to do with Jasper Whitlock. She hated the man, but loved Alice too much to refuse to ever see him. I enjoyed teasing Jasmine, since she was the prissiest girl I had ever met.

I sat down at the table and said, "Mom, just tell the Whitlocks not to come. I don't need to see Jasmine and hear her whiny voice."

My mom set a bowl down harshly in front of me and said, "Don't ruin my revenge, Budge." I had no idea what she was talking about, so I poured a bowl of cereal.

Trooper was sitting across from me when Dreamer walked in looking at her phone. "Budge, Marley said her brother will pay ninety. What does that mean?"

This was where I excelled. I spoke with my mouth full of cereal and said, "He's interested in one of my video games."

Dreamer walked out of the room without another word and mom went back to her chocolate chips, but Trooper watched me for a moment. I remained totally calm and took another bite so he reached for a cereal box. I was so much brighter than my brilliant brother.

He poured his bowl and then said, "Mom, come here, I need to talk to you about something."

She rushed over and sat in the chair next to him. He took hold of her hands and said, "Have you noticed Dreamer is starting to develop?"

"Into what?" mom asked. I was interested to know too. I hoped it was something less annoying than she was now.

Trooper shook his head and said, "She wears knit shirts and she is beginning to develop breasts. I think you should look into buying her a training bra."

I literally dropped my spoon. This was just the information I needed. Today was like Christmas and I was handed the greatest gift ever. Dreamer constantly got me into trouble by tattling, I now had some dirt to threaten her with. I threw my arms in the air and yelled, "Thank God."

Mom's eyes filled with tears and she called out for Dreamer. My sister walked into view with two prominent little bubbles in her shirt. "Honey, are your bagoomba's growing?" Mom asked.

I held my hands in front of my face for protection and said, "Wow, how do you even walk with those huge things."

Dreamer's mouth fell open and she turned to run but Trooper grabbed her and placed his hand over her mouth before she could scream. "Shhh," he demanded, "Dad needs his sleep."

Yeah he did. I heard him practically break down the wall in the middle of the night with his pounding and I was certain I heard him call someone a mutha effer. Trooper got Dreamer calmed down by promising her a trip to the mall with mom.

I began concentrating on my profit and wondered if I could get anything else from Natalie to sell, like possibly some pictures. I followed Trooper out the door and he reminded me to get my backpack. I ran upstairs and grabbed the thing and when I got to the car Emma was sitting in the front seat.

She shook her head at me and said, "You're disgusting."

"And you're frigid," I replied, causing her to look at Trooper for him to defend her. My bother started the car and headed toward the school.

Patrick looked at my feet and said, "Budge, your shoes don't match."

I glanced down and said, "I know, I lost the mate at a basketball game."

"How?" he asked as he laughed. Patrick laughed over anything and I didn't need to be distracted right now. I was counting my funds in my head and coming up with a way to double them.

Emma turned around to look at me and said, "You have no morals, Budge. I can't believe you would sell something given to you as a gift."

Hell, I would sell my virginity if I could. Hey, I should make Natalie pay me. It isn't every day she gets to deflower a younger man, maybe every other day, but not every day. Although, it will be her birthday and maybe she is expecting my virginity as my gift to her…damn, I needed to get her a gift.

"Hey Dreamer, do you still have that doll in a box on your shelf?" I asked, coming up with a plan.

"Daddy gave it to me when he had to go to Seattle for three days," she said as she glared at me.

"Yeah, but now you have tits you're done with dolls, right?" I said, and Patrick turned to look at Dreamer's chest.

"Budge," Trooper yelled, and actually turned his head while driving to glare at me, putting perfect Emma in danger. I was shocked. It told me just how angry he was and I needed to back off a bit. I turned and looked out the window as I tried to come up with another gift for Natalie.

We pulled up to the school and Dreamer and Patrick headed in one direction while the rest of us went another. I walked to the lockers and saw Dean waiting with his money. I held out the small paper bag and said, "She rubbed it between her legs before giving it to me." It was a lie, but he was paying top dollar so he deserved the allusion.

I headed to my first class and saw Trooper and Emma standing off to the side having a very serious discussion. He reached out and ran his hand softly down her hair and she quickly pulled away and looked around to see if anyone noticed. It was typical, but Trooper was too blind to see he would never be acceptable for Emma.

The hallway was crowded and I didn't see Natalie standing by the door to my first class. When I noticed her it was too late to make a clean get-a-way so I winked at her and tried to act nonchalant. She grabbed the front of my shirt and said with clenched teeth, "Did you sell my bra?"

"Hell no," I told her clearly. "I gave him one of my mom's. Yours is under my pillow so I can have dreams of your body all night."

Her mouth pulled into a smile and she leaned in to kiss my lips lightly. I never moved my mouth, totally uninterested in a chaste kiss. If I couldn't swallow her tongue there was no reason to do anything else. "You are so sweet, Budge," she said ignorantly.

"Move your sweet ass so I can get to class," I said, and she spun around and left. It was the best thing about Natalie, she wasn't clingy.

I sat in my regular seat and looked over to see Perry Lang. She was one of those rare combinations, hot and smart. Her boobs weren't big, but I liked the way they were placed, wide and separated, like two cupcakes on a platter that never touched.

"Stop leering at me, Budge," she demanded.

"You wish," I said, and continued to leer. "Let me ask you a question, what do girls your age like as a gift?"

"Something from the heart," she said, and I rolled my eyes at her. Guys never gave anything from the heart; we got stuff on sale or something her friends told us to get.

The teacher began the class and I was lost the entire time. I was focused on all the girls in the room and tried to see if there was something they all had in common, like a pinky ring or a hair attachment. I left class without a single idea.

For second hour we went into the library. I sat at a table with Casey Carson. She was a horrible student and always smelled like smoke, but she could kiss like nobody else. I leaned closer to her and asked, "Hey, if you were expecting a guy to buy you a birthday present, what would it be?"

She glanced around the room and then leaned in to whisper, "Weed."

Jesus, she didn't expect something from the heart, she expected a full on felony. I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms in frustration. I kicked off my shoes, always thinking better unrestrained. The rest of the class looked for books to check out, but I wasn't allowed since I had lost too many school books. Casey wasn't allowed to either, because she just used a marker to write obscenities in them.

I felt like I was just on the verge of a great idea when Casey tapped on the table for my attention. "What is the big secret between Trooper and Emma?"

"No secret," I said, "She wants him to worship her and he wants her to have his babies."

"They keep going off alone to talk, like their planning something big," she said.

"So," I stated, clueless to why Casey would care.

She shrugged and looked away. "I just thought it was weird," she said.

I stared at her and it finally dawned on me, she was creaming over Trooper. I laughed a bit too loudly for the library and she kicked me under the table. The last person I could ever see Trooper with was Casey Carson. It would be like my dad and…and…and Natalie's mom.

I suddenly felt very protective of my brother and sat up in my chair as I stared at Casey. "You're interested in the wrong Cullen, I promise."

"Oh really?" she challenged. "I'm interested in the one who would take me on dates and not make out with my friends, is that you?"

I shook my head, because it was definitely not me. I stood and walked over to the computers to talk with some other classmates. When the bell rang I went back to the table to get my shoes, but only one was there. I looked around for Casey, thinking she took the other. Oh well, they didn't match anyway. I put on the one shoe and headed off for my next class.

It was the only class I had with my best friend Kellan. We met in third grade and after the sixth meeting my parents had with my teacher I was put into another class. He held out his hand for me to slap and I dropped into my chair. "I heard you scored big with the bra," he said.

"Yeah, but I have a bigger issue right now. I need to come up with a birthday gift for a girl."

"Get her a stuffed animal or some shit like that," he suggested.

"Naw, I don't want it to be sentimental. I'm not offering her my balls for the rest of the school year. I just want her to take care of something for me," I said, without explaining it was my virginity I wanted her to dispose of.

"How about fingernail polish?" he said.

I nodded like it was an option, but I had never really noticed if Natalie wore polish or not. It didn't matter to me either way. Kellan turned his attention to the girl sitting on the other side of him and I went back to my stewing. When the teacher began the class he leaned over and whispered, "I'll be AWOL for lunch. Lindy's parents aren't home."

"She's a prick tease," I informed him, so he wouldn't think he was getting more than he thought.

His forehead furrowed and I shook my head. I didn't get why all the guys were so willing to give away their souls just so a girl could lay claim to his every action. I didn't belong to anyone and I wasn't about to become lovesick like Trooper.

"Mr. Cullen," the teacher called out.

"Yes, Mrs. Cope?" I answered respectfully.

"Where are your shoes?" she asked. I held up my one foot showing I actually had one shoe. She crossed her arms and qualified, "Where is your shoe?"

"I'm not sure, I lost it in the library," I said, and the class began to laugh. Mrs. Cope pointed at the door and I was all too familiar with what that meant. I stood and she pointed back at my desk so I turned and grabbed my backpack before heading to the office to find a shoe from the lost and found so I would be allowed back into class.


	3. Chapter 3

3

I had P.E. right before lunch and I entered the gym to see the girls on the north side of the floor and all the boys on the south. I headed right for the girls. Perry saw me and moved to block my path. I smiled at the sight of her cupcakes in a tight workout shirt.

She looked at my bare feet and said, "Coach will make you run again."

"Probably," I replied, and wondered if my hand would fit between her breasts without touching either one.

"Why don't you go out for track if you like to run?" she asked as if she really needed an answer to figure me out.

I shook my head, "No, I like to run, but not for a ribbon. I run just for the joy of running."

A whistle blew and we each separated to our proper ends of the gym. I got in line and the coach looked right at me. "Take some laps," he instructed, and I turned and began running around the gym with a smile on my face.

I then showered and remembered Kellan wasn't going to be around for lunch. I grabbed a drink and a bag of chips from a machine and looked around for someone to sit with. I saw Perry getting a soda so I approached her. "Come eat with me," I said, and gave her one of my great smiles.

She groaned and held up some papers. "I have to study for a test next hour."

"Need some help?" I offered. "I could quiz you."

She looked relieved at the suggestion so I took hold of her hand and pulled her with me to the auditorium. She pulled back on my arm and said, "We aren't supposed to be in here, Budge."

"I know. I have the perfect place to hide." I led her to the stage and then up a flight of steps to the prop closet. I turned on the light and then locked the door before sitting in a large recliner. I held out my arm and said, "Have a seat."

Perry sat on the edge of the chair and handed me the list. I asked her two questions before I pulled her onto my lap so I could hear her answers better. It was all a ploy, but she seemed to fall for it. I asked two more questions before I raised my eyes to hers. I asked a final question as I stared directly at her.

I want to point out that I did not make a move on her. She was the one who leaned over and planted a kiss on me instead of answering the question. I dropped the papers and put my hand on her neck before letting it drop to one of her cupcakes. She moaned and kissed me harder so I found the hem of her shirt and ran my hand up her flesh and let it rest between her breasts. Yep, I was right; my hand was a perfect fit.

My fingers began moving slowly to the edge of her bra and then my whole hand found its way inside the foam cup shaped material. I was in hostess heaven, holding her entire cupcake in my hand. Perry surprised me again and reached down to grab the handle to recline the chair. The foot rest came up and we were almost lying down as she pulled her shirt from her body.

Her hips pressed into mine and I inhaled sharply, finding it difficult to think. I reached for the zipper of her jeans but she stopped my hand, telling me she had her limits. I returned to the top half of her body and concentrated all my efforts there.

Her hands were all over in my hair as her hips played a rhythm against my pelvis. I was turned on, panting for air, and praying the bell wouldn't ring. Perry pulled me from my numbing bliss when she asked, "Budge, do you like me?"

"You're amazing," I said, with both cupcakes in my hands.

"So, I'm your girlfriend?" she pushed, and a loud screeching sound rang in my ears. I didn't belong to anyone. Nobody was going to turn me into a place holder just so they could point and say, "That's my boyfriend."

I pulled my hands from her bra and she got off my lap and put on her shirt. I was sporting a major boner so I sat forward and tried to straighten my hair with my fingers. Perry looked at me with her arms crossed, waiting for me to say something.

"I was just going to help you study," I said, making her feel like she molested me. Tears filled her eyes and I felt horrible. Perry was a nice girl and she didn't deserve to be taunted. "Hey," I said softly, "You don't want me as a boyfriend. I can't keep track of shit. I'm nothing like Trooper, I promise."

She nodded in agreement and then said with a cynical smile. "It will happen to you someday, Budge. You'll fall for a girl and do anything to be with her."

"I hope your right," I said, "But I seriously doubt it."

She turned and left the prop room and I stood to adjust my pants to make them more comfortable. My balls were aching and I was going to be in a shitty mood for the rest of the day. I looked around for my backpack and tried to remember when I had it last. "Shit," I said and kicked the chair. Then I headed off to my next class.

When we got home dad was waiting on the porch. Patrick walked toward his house and Dreamer ran for dad. Trooper and Emma remained in the car to talk. I walked up the steps and my dad looked at my feet. "A new shoe?"

"Yeah, but I lost this one in the library," I pointed out to him.

"We'll consider it an improvement then," he said, and Dreamer laughed.

I walked into the house and heard dad ask Dreamer to sit on the porch swing so he could talk to her. I left the door open and leaned against the wall to listen. "Sweetheart, I know it is scary sometimes to know you are growing up. I want you to know you will always be my princess and I will always love you."

"Did mom tell you I need a bra?" she asked sadly.

"Yes, she did. It makes me a little sad to know you'll fall in love with a boy someday and leave me," dad said, and it almost sounded like he was crying.

"No, daddy, I will never leave you," Dreamer insisted. "I'm going to live with your forever and ever because you are the best dad in the world."

I shook my head and chuckled. She had dad so wrapped around her fingers. I walked into the kitchen to see my mom looking through a cookbook. She glanced up at me and then asked, "Do you know what kind of cake people from the south hate to eat?"

"I don't know…Devil's food cake?" I suggested.

She squealed with delight and clapped her hands as she planned to make the perfect Northern cake for Trooper's birthday. But first she had to make sure Emmett liked Devil's food. For some reason Emmett's opinion held a lot of weight with my mother. She grabbed the phone to call Rose and I headed upstairs. I got to my room right as my cell phone rang. I looked to see it was Natalie calling.

"Hey gorgeous," I answered, and she giggled seductively.

"I got an offer for my birthday, so I want to make sure you are really coming over," she demanded.

"I told you I would. But I don't get my license until August so I'll have to ride my dirt bike."

"You are such a little boy," she teased.

"I'm hoping you're going to change that," I told her honestly, and she laughed again. "I'll be there about ten," I promised.

"I got some concert tickets to see Road Rage," she informed me. I knew I could double my money if I could get my hands on those tickets. My mouth pulled into a smile and I knew exactly what it would cost Natalie to get me to give it up to her.

"I've got to go," I said, acting hard to get and then hung up on her.

Natalie was the biggest player at our school, but she was going to get played and I was just the guy to do it. I would let her teach me all she could and then move on to a classer selection of playmates.

Trooper knocked on my door and tossed in my backpack. "You left this by the vending machines," he said, and I nodded in appreciation.

"Do you know Casey Carson?" I asked him.

"Yeah, the stoner with the attitude?"

"She's hot for you. I think you could reform her," I laughed, and spun my chair around to face him.

Trooper looked a bit worried, like the news would somehow make it to Emma and cause her to end their cat and mouse games. He thought for a moment and then said, "Don't encourage her, Budge. She's a troubled kid and I don't want to cause her problems."

"Are you sure you and dad aren't twins?" I said.

"I'm not as good as you think I am," he said, as if his conscience was bothering him.

If Trooper had something to confess I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it. I liked the feeling of having a perfect brother waiting for me to mess up so he could swoop in and fix everything. What if he turned into a real fuckup and I lost my security net.

I waited without saying anything. Trooper took a deep breath and then left the room. He only waivered for a moment and it gave me a rush of relief. I turned back to my computer and pulled up my email. I had a message from Natalie and it made me chuckle to myself. She was eating out of my hand…along with several other hands, but that didn't bother me at all. I wasn't the clingy type either.

I pulled up the file she attached and let my head fall to the side as I struggled to figure out what I was looking at. I leaned forward and then moved back, but I couldn't make out what it was.

My mom knocked and came in my room with a pile of washed clothes. "Put them on my bed and I'll take care of them," I instructed her.

She walked up to my bed and set down her load before walking over to tussle my hair. She suddenly gasped and covered her mouth with both of her hands. I looked up at her and saw she was staring wide eyed at my computer screen.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked, and looked back at the abstract picture.

She put her hands harshly over my eyes and yelled, "Budge Q. Cullen, you're just a baby, why are you looking at a picture of a vagina?"

Well, now I felt like a downright baby. I had no idea what I was looking at and I considered myself ready for sex. If I didn't come up with an answer my mother would find suitable I would be chained to her side until I turned thirty. I could forget about my big plans for next weekend if I didn't traverse this minefield carefully.

I remembered my ace in the hole, my get out of jail free card, my morally irreproachable brother, and said, "It was part of Trooper's health homework."

She reached out and turned off my computer before holding my face in her hands and kissing my nose. "Don't look at that, Budge. And if anyone tries to show you their vagina, just tell them you don't have your shot yet."

"What shot?" I asked, afraid I needed something before next weekend.

"A whore shot. Your dad didn't get his and he was left without any immunity. Whores are like a disease which slowly kills you with their whoreitis."

"So, if she's a nice girl, can I look?" I asked innocently.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" she asked, like she would prefer it if I was. "Because James looked at girls but he preferred boys."

"I'm not gay," I told her emphatically.

She leaned in really closely and said, "Have you seen a dan….penis?"

I whispered back and said, "Yes, I actually have one myself."

She thought for a moment and then asked, "When you look at your dan….penis, how does it make you feel?"

I pointed at the black computer screen and said, "Like I want that."

I wasn't clear enough so her brow scrunched up and she looked a bit confused. "Like you want one of your own?" she clarified.

"No, like I want as many of those as I can get my hands on."

"Okay," she said and stood up straight as she prepared to leave. "Stay out of Trooper's homework, he's in advanced classes and you're not."

I waited for her footsteps to make it down the stairs before I turned back to the computer and brought up the picture again. I stared at the image and suddenly felt terrified of Natalie Newton.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Dreamer and mom hit the mall and returned with several training bras. I wondered what would happen if girls didn't train their breasts, would they go wild and become uncontrollable. I was so happy I was male, with parts that made sense.

I had managed to avoid Natalie since she sent me the disturbing picture but I couldn't avoid Perry. I didn't want there to be any weirdness between us and thought she was too smart for silly games. She walked into class and looked at me and then turned to her posse and laughed, causing them to laugh along with her.

I glanced at her pants and said, "Your fly is open."

She gasped and threw her hand in front of her zipper and it was my turn to laugh. Man, she was way too protective of her zipper. She sat down angrily and moved her chair closer to Lance Turner, the class Neanderthal. The guy started shaving in fifth grade.

My hand naturally rose to my chin and I felt around for any sudden overnight growth. Maybe once I lost my virginity I would need to shave, but if that was what it took the state really needed to look into Lance's home life.

I was suitably hairy where it counted, so I wasn't too worried about my chin. Luckily, both of my parents were naturally thin. I inherited good genes, a long torso, wide shoulders, and some pretty decent abs which most likely appeared after the coach made me start running for losing my gym shoes.

I didn't care about style. I wore whatever was comfortable and buttoned my shirt up quickly, not necessarily correctly. Pretty soon some other guys began copying me, like I planned it out or something. My hair was too long and always in my eyes, but girls constantly wanted to play with it, so it was a keeper.

When I ran into Kellan the next hour he held up his phone to show me a picture of a white kitten with a big pink bow around its neck. What was with everyone making me look at pussys? I pushed his phone away and he said, "My little sister got a kitten. My mother is freaking because she's allergic."

I suddenly had a great idea. "I'll take it off your hands for twenty bucks," I offered.

"Are you kidding, it cost over a hundred bucks, I can't sell it for that cheap," he complained.

"I'm not offering to buy it dickhead. You pay me twenty bucks and I'll take the kitten," I explained.

He put his phone away without answering and I decided to let him think it over for a day or two. He would eventually get tired of his mother bitching all the time. My mother didn't bitch often. I don't know exactly what you would call what my mother did. She worried, she stewed, she worked things out in her mind, and always seemed to know the right thing to do.

She had been worried this week about Trooper's birthday dinner. When she made his cake for his sixteenth birthday she presented him with an anatomically correct bikini cake and then began explaining breasts to him right in front of Emma. I was really looking forward to my sixteenth birthday.

This time she was worried because the Whitlocks were coming. She would fight with Jasper and I would make Jasmine cry…it was almost tradition.

When I walked into the cafeteria during lunch my hair was still wet from my shower in P.E. I saw Emma standing behind Trooper as he sat at a table. She was playing with his hair and massaging his shoulders as she laughed with her friends. She always mauled him when she needed a buddy or a toy. I walked up to her and shook my head furiously. She screamed and moved away as if I was pissing on her.

"Trooper, did you see what he did to me?" she cried.

"He's MY brother, Emma. What is he to you?" I asked outright.

"Budge, cut it out," Trooper said. "Come on Em, it was only water."

Her eyes flashed with anger and she stomped off. I wanted Trooper to man up and let her go, but he jumped up and ran after her. I swore I would never be like that. If a girl got mad at me I most likely wouldn't even know.

I looked over at Emma's friends. They were seniors and looked at me like I was insulting them by breathing their air. I pointed at a couple of them and said, "Okay, now which one of you sent me the picture of your vagina?"

"You wouldn't even know what it was," the tallest one said, and it kind of took the wind from my sails since I didn't know until my mom told me. They all walked off in single file and I took their table with a big smile on my face. Casey walked by and then stopped and turned back to look at me. She walked up to the table and sat across from me.

"Where's Kellan?" she asked.

I shrugged, sure he would turn up soon. She played with a stain on the table and wouldn't look at me as she asked, "Do you think I could be a nurse?"

"For Halloween?" I asked, since I didn't understand how anyone our age would be considering their life's vocation at this early stage.

"No, like a real nurse, like going to college."

She still wouldn't look at me and I realized Casey didn't feel worthy of anything, even an education. I kicked her foot and said, "Casey, you can be anything you want. Hell, I would die just to have you give me mouth to mouth."

She smiled and finally raised her eyes to look at me. "What are you going to do with your life, Budge?"

"I'm just trying to make it through lunch," I laughed, but she continued to wait for an answer. I sighed and finally got serious. "Casey, I'm not going to plan my life and go for the wife, kids, and a mortgage. God, I want to see the world and I don't mean resorts and shops. I want to see hay being cut by hand, people who fish the Amazon just to eat that day. I want to make love to a pretty girl who can't speak English and not even care if she's married or not."

Casey's eyes filled with tears and she nodded a couple of times before saying, "I'm happy to know everybody dreams. I don't feel so stupid now."

I grabbed her hand as she stood to leave and pulled her closer to me. "No Casey, it isn't just a dream. If you want to be a nurse, do it, damn it. You're Casey Carson, and you'll be the best nurse in the world."

Her tears spilled over her eyes and she smiled a bit before saying, "I'll never make it out of high school, and we both know it."

She pulled from my hand and walked out the door. Kellan approached me and looked over at the door before saying, "Are you hitting that?"

"What?" I asked, not paying attention to him.

"Are you slumming it with Casey?"

I turned and looked at him with a threatening stare and said, "She's a nice girl, don't say that again."

"Yeah, you're hitting that," he laughed, and it turned my stomach a bit. I knew I would be considered someone just like Casey if it wasn't for Trooper. He made my idiosyncrasies endearing because he was so perfect. I walked in his shadow, which was cast pretty damn far, and nobody saw me for who I really was.

I spent the rest of the day shut off inside my own mind. I felt trapped inside a box that I hated. I had no plans for college and began to wonder if high school was even necessary. I was the first to make it to the car after school and I leaned against the trunk as I watched Patrick and Dreamer walk toward me.

My sister was changing, almost daily. She was growing taller and walking more gracefully. She had adjusted to wearing a bra and no longer slumped her shoulders in shame. When she reached the car I looked right at her and said, "Dreamer, you look really pretty today."

Her mouth fell open and Patrick turned and looked her up and down, trying to find anything different about a little girl he found annoying. When Trooper and Emma showed up I got into the back seat and remained silent the entire way home.

Dad was on the porch again and when Dreamer ran to him they spoke for a moment and his head rose to look at me. I walked toward him, feeling like I had outgrown my family. I could leave at anytime I wanted and be totally fine. Dad needed to be surrounded by family and Trooper would be the same way, but I didn't.

"Are you okay, Budge?" he asked me.

I looked into his eyes and saw….something. It was some sort of fear. I thought my father was the bravest man alive, but he wasn't. I took a deep breath and looked around, feeling like the forest was pressing down on me. "I can't explain what I'm feeling. My body feels too small to contain me or something," I said as I moved to stretch my back muscles.

Dad smiled and said, "I think you should talk to your mother. She'll understand."

I nodded and walked into the house. I went right up to my room and fell down onto my bed as I stared up at the ceiling. Ten minutes later my mother came running into my room. She rushed to my bed with wide eyes and said, "Please don't budge. I know I named you Budge so you could budge, but I'll just die if you budge."

I sat up onto my elbows and said, "Mom, I feel trapped and I hate the feeling."

"I know," she said, "Because the world was made for squares. Don't let anyone mold you into something you're not. Be who you are, Budge, or life will be miserable."

"But I'm so different from everyone else," I said sadly.

"Thank God," she said forcefully.

I dropped back down on my pillow and asked, "Do you feel trapped with dad?"

She laughed and had a conversation in her own head before finally turning her attention back to me. "Oh," she said when she saw me waiting for an answer. "You're dad is not normal either. He's a lemniscates so he gets along with everyone. He lived as a square for a while, but it almost destroyed him. He needs a lot of love and squares are cruel."

"I want to start living my life, not just preparing to live it," I complained like a toddler.

"But we need you, Budge," mom said with a sad voice. "Trooper is like daddy and he needs to learn from you how to be a free spirit. I don't want Dreamer spending her life meeting her husband's every need. By watching you and Trooper she learns men are different and she doesn't need to be the caregiver all the time."

Her tears began to fall and she only managed a soft whisper. "I need you, because you are the only one who understands me fully."

Without any thought at all I dove into my mother's arms. I was so grateful I ended up as her son and free to be who I really was. She encouraged me, understood me, and loved me without ever trying to change me.

Trooper was my link to the rest of the world, just like dad was for mom, but it was my mother who filled my soul with confidence and independence. She held me tightly and cried into my neck, "I'll never let the south get their paws on you."

"I lost my gym shoes," I finally confessed, since we were having this emotional moment and she wouldn't be angry.

"I'll buy you some new ones for Trooper's birthday, daddy won't notice," she said, and let me out of her tight grasp.

She wiped her eyes and then walked to the door. I called out to her and she turned to look at me. "I won't budge," I promised, and then realized I was most likely going to have to go to college. Damn it!


	5. Chapter 5

5

It was Friday night and in twenty-four hours I would be faced with the biggest hurdle in a young man's life. I could tell Trooper was facing his own hurdle as he grew more and more quiet. I'm sure he worried about making some girl happy, as I only worried about not humiliating myself in front of a real pro.

I walked into the gym as the basketball game was in full swing. I looked around and saw Trooper sitting with some guys and Emma nowhere to be found. It was a rare occasion for them to be parted and I figured Emma got a boyfriend again.

I saw Casey sitting by herself against the railing staring at Trooper. I headed in her direction and when she saw me she smiled. I held out my hand and she took it, thinking I was going to take her under the bleachers again, but I pulled her toward my brother instead.

Trooper looked at us and nodded as we joined their group. Casey turned to me and whispered, "What's going on, Budge?"

"You were sitting by yourself and I thought you would have more fun with us," I said, without looking at her and pretending to be interested in the game. I stared at the unusually tall guys running up and down the court and wondered why they found this sport remotely enjoyable. If I wasn't trying to improve Casey's self image I would have split a long time ago.

When the quarter finally ended I looked toward the door and saw Natalie walk in. She was all over some guy who had a large hickey on his neck. I made a mental note not to allow her to mark me tomorrow. She glanced around the stands and our eyes locked causing her to smile. Trooper looked over and said, "Oh man, just what I need."

I suggested loudly for Casey to sit next to him so he scooted over to make room for her. Once she had Trooper's undivided attention I made my exit. I walked right past Natalie and saw her look me up and down. I noticed a cute girl wearing the opposing schools colors and approached her. "I'll trade you shoes," I offered.

She looked down at my mismatched shoes and said, "Why would I want those?"

"Because all your friends will ask you what happened to your shoes and you can tell them you traded with the guy who made out with you under the bleachers."

I wasn't tossing her a line; I was offering her an invitation. She smiled so I assumed it was a yes. I took hold of her hand and led her under the bleachers to the far side of the gym where a small alcove was hidden. My body leaned against the wall and I pulled her to me. She blushed a bit so I waited for her to look at me before I moved in for a kiss.

She tasted like strawberry so I deepened the kiss quickly, wanting to get more of the sugary goodness. Her hands went into my hair, just like every other girls always did but I liked how she moved onto her tiptoes to be even with me. Hopefully she was a ballet dancer and could remain there for a long time.

My hand snuck beneath her sweatshirt and then made its way to her chest. She instantly pulled back like it surprised her. Where did she think my hand was going? She laughed and said, "I don't even know you."

"I'm Budge Cullen," I introduced.

"Bud?" she asked.

"Yeah," I lied, since it was easier than explaining. "Who are you?"

"I'm Hannah," she said, without giving me her last name. I smiled and waited for her to get over her feeling of awkwardness so she would get back to kissing me and let my hands wander. She finally said, "Um…I have a boyfriend."

"Not a problem," I said confidently, and went back to my waiting. The guy must have been the real reason for her hesitancy because she suddenly pulled me back to her mouth and never tried to stop my hands again.

When the game ended I handed her my shoes and headed to the parking lot. My mouth was red and my lips were swollen, but it was my aching balls that bothered me. I sat on the hood of Trooper's car and waited for him to return. Natalie walked by and left her date to come speak to me alone.

"What did you get me for my birthday?" she asked without trying to be coy.

"You have to wait and see," I told her, because at the moment I didn't have a clue.

"Where are your shoes?" she asked, and looked down at my cold feet. I raised them to place under her shirt and she screamed from the shock of them against her hot stomach. "I hope not everything on you is cold," she teased, and moved to stand right between my legs.

I glanced at her date, but he wasn't even watching us so I took her hand and placed it on my semi-hard dick. "I'm impressed," she giggled, and it made me feel like an upper classman instead of a guy heavily petting under the bleachers.

She gave me a gentle squeeze and then pulled away and went back to her date. I saw Trooper coming and quickly turn in another direction when he spotted Natalie. When he finally made his way to the car I got in and asked, "Where's Emma?"

"I don't know?" he said, as if he didn't keep track of her every move. I knew then she must be dating someone and it was too painful for him to admit it. I dropped the subject and pulled out my phone to text Kellan. "What happened to your shoes?" Trooper asked.

"I traded them to a cute Bruin from the other team," I said.

"Traded for what?" he pushed, and I laughed and shook my head. I wasn't about to tell him I traded for the chance to feel her up.

"Mom's really stressed with the Whitlocks coming tomorrow so let's run by Wal-mart and buy you a new pair. "

I agreed, since I would need something to wear when I snuck out my window the next night. We found a cheap pair, knowing I would lose them anyway, and then headed home. Mom was working on a cake and I didn't bother looking at it. When she was in a mood like this it was best to leave her alone. I also knew we would be hearing dad's wall pounding later when he got home.

I got a text from Kellan asking if the kitten deal was still on. I told him my price was now forty bucks, so after calling me some really foul names he agreed. I took a shower and then put on some music as I dried my mop of hair. I looked in the mirror and flexed a few times, hoping Natalie would not be disappointed. My stomach was flat and I had a line of hair from my belly button down to my dick. My chest was as bare as my chin, but it only saved me the pain of waxing.

I put on some boxers and fell into bed knowing I would get little sleep. I was…anxious, but not really nervous. I knew with Natalie I wouldn't have to do a thing but listen and learn. It was really the perfect way to lose my virginity.

I woke up to someone tickling my face. I opened my eyes to see my mother kneeling next to the bed with her face right up in mine. "Shit," I yelled and jumped back, hoping I didn't get in trouble for my language. I grabbed my sheets and tried to cover my morning wood.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she said, and held up a wrapped box with a bow on top. "Here are your new gym shoes for Trooper's birthday."

"Why did you wrap them?" I asked.

"Because they are a birthday gift," she said, like I was stupid to think she wouldn't.

"What time are the Whitlocks coming?" I asked, to divert her attention away from me and back to where it belonged.

She groaned and stood from my bed. "I don't know how your father can stand to be partners with him. Did I tell you he almost fired me once?"

"Yeah," I said, and rubbed my eyes. She told us often about Jasper staring at her with his large eyes and threatening her job when some prick tried to hit on her. I had no idea why she hated him so badly, but it must have something to do with being her boss once.

She walked to the door and said, "Today will be a big day, I can just feel it."

She had no idea. Today was a huge day and I was certain it would take forever for nightfall to come around. I did my best to stay out of my mother's way as she banged things around in the kitchen. I wrapped the gift I got for Trooper, teased Dreamer until her screaming woke up dad, and then I stayed far from her. It was finally time for the party.

The McCarty's arrived first. Mom hugged Rose and then pulled Emmett over to the recliner and offered to get him a drink. Emma came, but she wouldn't even look at Trooper. Patrick walked in and then burped loudly before laughing hysterically.

When the doorbell rang again I rushed over to open it. Grandpa and Grandma Swan came in. He asked if I was staying out of trouble and she gave me a wet kiss on my cheek. I took the opportunity to bring up something I had been meaning to discuss with grandpa. I sat next to him on the sofa and asked, "Hey, if someone accidently damned a private creek upstream, could they be prosecuted?"

He looked at me for a moment and said, "Was this hypothetical creek damned with the use of explosives?"

"Would it matter if the explosives were accidently made?" I countered with.

"So chemicals mixed on forest service land exploded and dammed a private stream?" he asked.

The doorbell rang at that precise moment and I jumped from the couch without answering. I opened the door to see Jasmine standing with her long dark hair and her large blue eyes staring back at me. She had on heels and a small black dress, like she was going to a fancy dinner. Her eyes looked right at me and she narrowed them before saying, "You touch me once and I'll have your arm removed."

I held open the door for them to come in and reached up under her dress to pinch her ass. She spun around and glared at me but she remained quiet about it. I guess she wasn't talking about her ass when she warned me.

She walked over to Emma and they began chatting quietly. I was a little surprised when Dreamer joined them. She used to hang around me during family parties, or at least during the few minutes she actually left dad's side.

Mom and Rose hugged Alice but Jasper headed right to dad and Emmett instead of trying to converse with the women. I saw my mother glare at him and then scratch her arm with her middle finger in his direction.

I didn't want this lame party to drag on so I said loudly, "Let's eat, I'm hungry."

We all gathered in the kitchen and mom pointed out the various dishes. It was an Italian, Mexican, Asian mix that everyone pretended to be excited for. I stayed away from the refried beans and the salsa, but Patrick loaded up on them. I noticed Trooper ate very little and so did Emma. It was always so awkward for the rest of us when they were fighting.

We were sitting in small groups around the large family room when the doorbell rang. I opened it and my eyes grew wide when I saw Casey standing at the door with a small gift in her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

6

I wasn't sure if Trooper invited Casey to upset Emma or if he was just trying to be nice to her. It shocked me even more that she actually showed up, Casey usually only attended parties where massive amounts of beer and pot was being used. I didn't know if I should invite her in or call him over. Casey settled the matter by speaking first.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to give this to Trooper."

I noticed how her hands were shaking so I said, "Sit on the porch swing and I'll send him out."

She nodded and walked away. I shut the door a few inches and motioned with my head for my brother to come over. I spoke softly so nobody would hear and said, "A friend brought you a gift. She's on the swing." He nodded and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

My eyes were immediately drawn to Emma and she looked so sad. I had no idea why she would be upset that someone had interest in the guy she just toyed with. She didn't want him, but she didn't want anyone else to have him either.

Trooper was gone for several minutes and then returned with a small chain around his wrist. I really hoped he made her comfortable with her generosity, but it was Trooper, of course he did.

When we finished eating mom called everyone into the kitchen to cut the cake. We all stared at the wiggly mess on the table that kind of resembled the shape of a gun. "What is it?" Jasmine asked.

"A map of the country," mom explained. "I want Trooper to know there is a big world out there."

Patrick looked closer and then asked, "Where's the South?"

That was when I noticed why the country looked so misshapen; mom had completely cut off the Deep South. Mom gave Patrick a warning stare and said, "No, this is the entire country, nothing is missing." Alice smacked my mother on the arm causing her to say, "They molest young men there and you know it." I didn't know what she meant, but I planned to stay far from those states.

Trooper blew out his candles as my mother worshipped Emmett again for saving Trooper's life, then he began opening gifts. I got him an extra large key chain and he laughed before saying, "I guess you'll be using this come summer."

"I wanted to make it easy for you to find my keys," I explained. He nodded and gave me a hug before placing the thing in his pocket.

Next he opened Emma's gift. He held a small picture frame in his hands and stared down at something. I was curious what had made him so silent so I moved to look over his shoulder. It was a picture of him and Emma as children with their arms wrapped around each other. It said, "Best Friends Forever."

She might as well have kicked him in the balls. I reached for another present quickly to help him move on and then took the time to give Emma a look of disgust. Her eyes were wet and she walked away from the table, making me wonder again what in the hell was going on with them.

I reached for a piece of cake and noticed Jasmine move slightly back so nothing messy could touch her. Instead of taking the cake I ran my finger through some icing and got her right across the face. She jumped up from her chair and screamed like I had touched her with acid.

"It's only sugah, sugah," Jasper said to calm his daughter.

Mom exploded and yelled at Jasper, "Er…it is er, and if you can't say it right don't speak at all. You are in the most Northwestern city in the most Northwestern state so speak the language or go back to your own country. "

Dad jumped into the mix and quickly thanked everyone for coming. Trooper seemed relieved that he didn't have to open anymore gifts and mom began to cry that Emmett was leaving so soon. My feelings were mixed, I was happy I got the best of Miss Priss, but it meant Natalie was waiting for me.

Everyone said goodbye, making the ordeal last for over half an hour. I noticed Trooper and Emma didn't even speak to each other. When the house was empty Dreamer wrapped her arms around dad and begged him not to go to the club. My heart was pounding furiously. If dad didn't leave I would never be able to sneak out. Mom was a breeze, but dad was more observant.

Trooper saved the night by looking at Dreamer and saying, "Dad took the whole evening off and it is the busiest night of the week for the club. Don't be selfish, Dreamer."

_Yeah Dreamer, don't be selfish_, I silently begged.

She eventually let go of his waist and he was kissing my mother goodbye, which could get pretty racy, so I began clearing the dishes. When I got to the sink and noticed Trooper with dishes too we both froze. It wasn't like he never helped, but he usually waited until he was asked. I on the other hand never helped, even when I was asked.

"What are you doing?" he asked me.

"Its part of your gift," I lied. "You can take a break tonight."

He watched me closely and I tried to ignore the prying eyes. We had most of the kitchen cleaned up when mom was done dry humping dad off to work. "I'm going to bed," Trooper and I both said at the exact same time. We looked at each other suspiciously, but mom just gave us a wave of her hand and began mumbling about grey being an evil color.

We walked up the stairs together and Trooper said, "What's going on?"

"What's going on with you?" I said back.

"Nothing," he said, and refused to look at me. "I thought you had plans?"

"They were canceled, and I'm really tired."

We separated and went to our own rooms. I locked the door and put on some music. I stuffed pillows in my bed to make it look like I was asleep and then brushed my teeth, added more underarm deodorant, and picked up my cologne bottle to check and see if it was dangerous to put it right on your penis. I wasn't sure, so I just added a dab in the crease of my legs.

I looked around my room for my damn backpack and found it under my bed. I put it on, grabbed my thick coat and climbed from my bedroom window to the back porch and then onto the ground. I had to push my dirt bike to the main road before starting it up and then headed to Kellan's house.

When I finally arrived at Natalie's I wasn't sure what to do. Was I supposed to climb in her window or knock on the door? Since I had no idea which one was her window I decided to knock. She answered wearing tiny shorts and a sweatshirt.

"Is it okay to come to the door?" I asked.

"Sure, it is Saturday night, my mom is out."

I took off my heavy coat and held the backpack gently as I followed her up the stairs of the old house. When we got to her room I got the kitten out of the bag and held it out to her, "Happy Birthday."

She grabbed it from my hands and kissed it several times, making me angry for bringing the stupid thing. I hope she didn't plan on kissing it all night and leaving me hanging. I tossed my backpack against the wall and waited for her attention. She looked at me and laughed. "You are going to get extra fun for such a great present."

"Great, but I'm not having sex with you," I said, hoping it sounded genuine.

"What?" she asked, as her smile fell.

"I'm a virgin and I'm not giving it up for nothing," I stated to start the bargaining.

"You expect me to pay you?" she gasped.

"I don't need any money," I said, implying I would take something else as payment.

She glanced around her room and then put the kitten down and reached for the concert tickets. "How about these?"

I pretended to think for a moment then shrugged and said, "I guess." I took them from her hand and put them in my back pocket. My hand touched the condoms I placed there and I felt my stomach drop into my feet.

She walked back and forth in front of me with her finger on her lip trying to decide what to do with my innocence. I was willing to try anything. She finally pulled her sweatshirt off revealing her massive chest and I stared, unable to look away. My hands twitched, wondering how differently they would feel compared to the smaller chest girls I had experienced.

I reached for my shirt and she held up her hand to stop me. "Just watch," she instructed, and I nodded obediently. She removed her shorts to display a just barely perceptual thong and finally approached me to remove my shirt. She didn't remove anything else but instructed me to lie on her bed. I removed my shoes and sat against her headboard as I continued to watch her.

I hadn't noticed the pole in her room until she placed her hand on it. Who gives a teenage girl her own stripper pole? Without any warm up at all she pulled herself up and spun around bringing her legs completely over her head and looked at me upside down. It was totally hot and my pecker reacted. She moved expertly to the beat of the music she had been playing until I was almost frothing at the mouth.

She finally left the pole and walked toward me. I wanted to scream praises and cry at the same time. I noticed she left the light on and shimmied out of the thong before climbing onto the bed and sitting up on her knees. I didn't speak or try to touch her. She was in charge and I was too afraid to be assertive about anything.

She pulled on my legs and I thought she meant for me to remove my jeans, but she stopped me when my hands moved there so I just scooted down to lie flat. She straddled me and held tightly to my shoulders before saying, "Okay, this is going to be really quick for you, so we need to make it all about me for awhile first."

I nodded, having no idea what she meant. She moved her knees up to my chest and then sat right on me. My eyes automatically closed at the feeling of so much heat right over my heart. Her body began to move back and forth and I opened my eyes to see her head back and playing with her own breasts. I quickly shut my eyes again feeling completely overwhelmed.

I was regretting every decision I had made up to this point. I was cocky and overconfident when I thought at fifteen I was ready for someone like Natalie. I actually felt the need to call my mom and ask her to come save me.

Natalie moaned loudly and it brought me back to the task at hand. Maybe I was man enough for this after all. I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to open my eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Natalie smiled without a hint of noticing my insecurity. She finally took my hands and placed them on her breasts. They completely filled my palm and spilled over, too much to contain. I squeezed and then gently rubbed them, liking how their points felt against my palm. She finally leaned over, placing them right in my face. My mouth automatically opened and she pushed them together as I struggled with so much possibility and only one mouth. I had nothing to do with both hands now so they wrapped around her legs pinning her to my chest.

She eventually straightened again and took hold of the headboard as she scooted even further up my body. I stared….right at the live version of the picture she sent me. I didn't have a clue what she wanted from me. I thought she was just going to screw me and send me home. This was way over my head.

I pushed her off of me, acting like I was tired of her teasing. I tried to stand but she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and apologized profusely. I felt like a selfish bastard, instead of a terrified bastard, I was good with that.

She pulled me back down to the pillow and quickly disposed of my jeans and boxers. At this point I really wished she would turn out the lights. I wanted to see her body, but I didn't want to see any disappointment as she looked at mine.

"Get the lights," I suggested.

She laughed and said she forgot about me being a virgin. I didn't realize it was a rookie request. She turned off the lights and when she returned she began kissing me. Now I felt more comfortable and able to keep up. This I was an expert at.

I had completely forgotten about the condoms in my pocket as she turned my mind into mush. I was grateful when she reached for her bed stand drawer and pulled one out. Before I could even tell if she opened it she had it firmly in place.

Here it was, the moment I would remember forever, the last seconds of being a virgin and ignorant to the ways of women. 'Oh God," I cried out as the most incredible feeling consumed me. My mind was totally gone and I was reduced to a ball of sensations. I wasn't consciously moving, but for some reason my body was moving all on its own. Each thrust taking me deeper and deeper into pure bliss. I never wanted it to end. I wanted to become an expert at this. I wanted to do this for a living or find others who would do it with me without any expectations.

And just as quickly it was over. I had no control over my body as wave after wave hit me. It was like jumping off a cliff. For a moment I was flying in the air as all sounds stopped. Then I began free falling as the adrenaline rushed into my body and made my heart feel like it was going to explode. It was exhilarating and absolutely terrifying.

When my body finally grew still I felt overwhelming love for Natalie. I wanted to make her swear to be with me always and to never leave my side. Luckily, that part only lasted about ten seconds. I wasn't sure if I could move or if I was supposed to get right up and leave. I looked over at Natalie and she smiled at me.

"You can flush the condom," she instructed.

I got up, holding my package in my hand and rushed to the bathroom. I pulled the condom off my spent dick and flushed it before looking into the mirror. I expected to look differently, maybe a sudden beard or a certain wisdom in my eyes, but I looked exactly the same.

When I went back into the room I saw Natalie sitting on the bed holding the kitten. I picked up my jeans and boxers and jumped when I heard the door open downstairs. Natalie laughed at me and said, "It's just my mom. She's home early so she must have someone with her." I dressed quickly but Natalie seemed totally unconcerned.

"Well, um…happy birthday," I said awkwardly, realizing I was the one who got gifts on Trooper and Natalie's birthdays.

"See ya," she said without looking at me. She was playing with the kitten and I was glad it was going to a home where it would be loved.

I opened the door and looked into the hallway. I tiptoed into the darkness and when I passed her mother's door I could see a naked man standing at the edge of the bed and holding her mother's legs in the air. I watched for a second, wondering if it would be an easy feat or something I would need more practice for.

My coat was still lying by the front door so I put it on and rushed out to my dirt bike. I drove faster on the way home since I didn't have the kitten to worry about. I shut off the engine before reaching the driveway and hit the light off.

"I'll be damned," I mumbled when I noticed Trooper's car was gone. I was certain he was with Casey and I was dying to tell Emma.

I put the bike away and then unlocked the back door as I snuck into the house. I kicked off my shoes and put them in the washroom before sneaking upstairs to my room. I got into bed and was out cold within five minutes.

Sunday was always a family day. Dad would be home all day and mom would spend the day doting on him. I was heading downstairs when I passed Trooper's room and saw him sitting at his desk writing. I leaned against his doorframe and he looked up at me. I saw in Trooper what I expected to see in my own face. He looked like a man.

I walked in and sat on his bed. He turned to face me and said, "Is everything okay, Budge?"

"Great, what about you?" He shrugged but didn't answer. "Did you have a good night?" I pressed him.

"I really don't want to talk about it," he told me, and I decided to give him some respect. He did so much for me and if he wanted his privacy I would give it to him.

I found mom working on some pancakes and I stood next to her and watched. After making a small stack of obscure shapes I reached for her spatula and asked, "Can I do it for you?"

Her head turned slowly to look at me and her eyes narrowed as she tried to decipher what I was up to. I didn't want anything. I just felt I should do something for her like Trooper always does. She reached out and felt my head to see if I had a fever.

She finally handed me the bowl of batter and said, "No circles."

I did a pretty good job and only burned a couple of them before the family gathered for breakfast. Dad was yawning since he got in late and mom kept asking him if her breast seemed lopsided. Trooper and I looked at each other across the table and we both realized everything had changed for us. We no longer needed these other people, but we wanted to be with them.

He smiled and then handed me the juice. "Thanks Trooper," I said, meaning so much more than gratitude for the juice, but for being such a good brother.

Trooper cleared his throat and said, "Emma's going to be driving from now on, so Patrick will ride with her instead of us."

We all stared at him in shock. I didn't even know it was possible for us to ride separately. It had never been done. Dreamer looked at my dad and then back to Trooper. "Why?" she demanded.

"Emma graduates soon and she just wants to be more independent."

I wondered if she had heard about Casey or if she did have a new boyfriend after all. Mom got up and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips and said softly, "It's all Jasper's fault."

"I want to ride with her," Dreamer whined, so I glared at her.

"You would disrespect your brother like that?" I yelled. "He does everything for you and Emma hasn't done anything."

"I'm not talking to you, Budge," she yelled back at me. "And daddy does everything for me."

"Grow up," I said, angrier at myself than her.

"Don't fight," mom begged with chocolate stuck to her teeth.

"I think we need a day on the boat," dad said, and Dreamer screamed with joy. I wasn't too hyped about sitting in the cold as the water rocked but the messages on my phone changed my mind. I pulled it out and saw a plethora of pictures Natalie sent to me, and this time I knew exactly what they were. I didn't even notice the cold as I stared at the pictures the entire day.

Monday morning I felt a bit taller as I walked into the school. The freshman girls looked so much younger now and the senior girls looked so much more available. I headed to class and saw Natalie waiting for me. I smiled when she held out my backpack. "You left this," she giggled.

"I was going to come back for it," I told her.

She leaned in to speak into my ear and said, "Send me a picture."

I nodded and reached subconsciously in my pocket to feel my phone. I panicked a bit when I realized it was missing. I rushed back to the car and searched the seats and floor but it wasn't there. Mom was willing to replace my shoes, but my phone was another story.

At lunch I was shocked to see Trooper sitting with Casey. They were not right up on each other like a couple, but she was grinning from ear to ear. I walked up and asked if Trooper had seen my phone. He shook his head and looked a bit embarrassed to be caught with Casey.

I went to Kellan's table and watched Trooper closely when Emma walked into the room. She was with her group of friends and glanced over at Trooper and gave him a slight wave, keeping her hand next to her leg. He smiled and winked before turning his attention back to Casey.

When Emma passed my table I said, "Thanks for the ride, traitor."

"Shut up, Budge," she said angrily.

I nodded toward Trooper and said, "What's wrong, can't you take the competition?"

Her lips trembled a little and she turned around without a word and left the cafeteria. I didn't look at Trooper because I knew he would be livid at me for upsetting Emma. I went back to trying to figure out where I left my phone.

We all drove home in silence. Trooper pulled into the driveway and we all stared in shock at the porch. It was mom standing there this time. Dreamer opened the door before Trooper had stopped so he slammed on the breaks. "Did you kill daddy?" she screamed as she ran for the house.

Trooper and I looked at each other nervously. We knew mom wouldn't kill dad, at least not on purpose, but something was wrong. We were both worried about our separate secrets and silently hoped it was the other one in trouble. "What do you think is going on?" I asked quietly.

"There's only one way to find out," Trooper said, and courageously opened the car door.

We walked together to the porch and mom smiled before saying, "Budge, daddy wants to talk to you in his office."

I was confused. It was serious since it was something dad needed to use his office for, but mom was smiling like nothing was wrong. I glanced at Trooper and he patted me on the back for support. I walked toward the office and heard Dreamer talking excitedly to dad. I stood at the door and he looked over at me.

"Sweetheart, let me talk to Budge for a moment, okay?"

Dreamer looked over at me and smiled sarcastically. "You're in trouble," she sang as she skipped from the room.

Dad motioned for me to sit down and my mouth was so dry I couldn't swallow. I sat and dad rose to go shut the door, making me actually tremble a bit. He walked back to his desk and the held out my phone.

I reached for it and asked, "Where did you find it?"

He pulled his hand back, not allowing me to take it and said, "I saw the pictures, son."


	8. Chapter 8

8

Crap, not only would dad know what he was looking at but he would know who he was looking at. They never explained their hatred for the Newtons but mom was adamant Trooper stay away from Natalie. My voice was very soft when I said, "She's not my girlfriend."

"Why would she send you these pictures?" he asked.

"You don't understand, Natalie is just….Natalie," I tried to explain.

Dad rubbed his face with his hand and then looked at me with pained eyes. "You're wrong son, I understand all too well."

Oh man, I knew someday he would try to have 'the talk' with me. Mom was much blunter, she just told us to remember whores lie and to respect our danglers. I wanted to tell him he was too late, but if he got this bent out of shape over some pictures he would freak to have all the details.

"I'll delete them and stay away from her," I offered to end this torture.

Dad looked relieved and handed me my phone. "If I catch you messing with her you'll be grounded and I will tell your mother about this."

I nodded, without any intentions of being 'caught' messing with Natalie. I walked from the office and Trooper looked at me for any signs of what happened. I smiled to reassure my easily worried brother and went to my room to act contrite.

Dad left for work and I did my homework before eating dinner. When I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket I ignored it like a good boy….for about fifteen minutes. I headed to my room when Trooper was helping Dreamer focus on her homework and mom was marking her breasts against a wall to see if they really were lopsided or not.

I looked at my phone and had a text from Natalie. She had her mom's car for the night and wanted me to sneak out. I told her to give me an hour and then took a shower, dressed in my flannel pants and a tee, then went downstairs to tell everyone goodnight.

I repeated the same escape route from Saturday night and ran to the end of the driveway to meet up with Natalie. She smiled at my attire and I ignored her and began kissing her neck. She turned off onto an obscure mountain road and pulled over.

I glanced around the tiny compact car and worried about logistics, but there was no need because Natalie was experienced in these matters. She looked over at me and said, "Pull the lever on the side."

I did as she instructed and the seat reclined. She didn't move from her seat but she began disposing of my flannel pants. I was waiting to see what kind of contortions she was going to perform when all of the sudden she stuck the most sensitive part of me into her mouth. My hands shot up to the roof to hang on for dear life.

It was the second time I came prepared with condoms and didn't get to use my own. This time I tried to stay lucid. I tried to concentrate on other things. I failed miserably. After fighting the urge to profess my love for Natalie I began to worry about being not only a fast runner but fast at everything. I didn't know sex brought out insecurities and I began to feel inadequate.

"What's wrong?" Natalie asked me, as she looked down at my worried face.

"Is it supposed to be over that quickly?" I asked her.

She laughed and said the one thing I needed to hear. "You are doing remarkably well for a beginner."

I just had to kiss her for that, but then the taste of my own dick grossed me out and I pushed her away. She was living up to her reputation as a teacher, but I needed to learn about the female body, not just about mine. I said with a bit of trepidation, "I could do stuff for you, if you tell me how."

Her eyes darted to the glove box and she bit her lip as she tried to make some sort of decision. She finally reached for something and then reclined her own seat and placed her feet on the dash. She had on a skirt and nothing underneath so she just raised it up. "Watch what I do with this vibrator and pretend it is you."

Holy cow, she was going to do herself right in front of me. I had to have proof I wasn't dreaming so I pulled out my phone and took some pictures. I lost interest in the proof as she went to town with the object in her hand. I watched carefully and realized there wasn't any big secret. I just needed to learn how to last longer.

When she arched back and screamed out I leaned over and kissed her passionately. Natalie was pure poetry and I was lucky to know her. I couldn't wait to do this with a different girl and see what it would be like. When she finally sat up she turned to look at me. "Do you want to talk or anything?"

"No, not really," I admitted honestly.

"Okay, I'll take you home because I have a date tonight," she said and started the car.

"How do you keep your grades up?" I asked, because she must be a genius or something.

She laughed and shook her head. "My mom dates most of my teachers."

Man, she was so lucky. I had to live up to Trooper's reputation and she had a mother willing to trade for her grades. She pulled up to the driveway and I got out without saying anything. I walked slowly down the path as I looked at the house. Everything looked exactly the same, the garage door was down, Trooper's car was on the side of the house, and all the lights were off.

I used the key to come in the back door and since I was barefoot I didn't have to worry about my shoes. I tiptoed down the hallway and just as I reached the kitchen the light came on. I came to a halt and stared at the angry face of my father.

I tried to desperately come up with a believable excuse, something dad would fall for. I could easily tell mom I was looking for my shoes, but dad wasn't that gullible. He looked at me with such disappointment that I folded and told him the truth. "She's giving me sex, dad. It isn't anything serious but she knows things."

"You are nowhere near ready for a serious relationship, you can't even drive for heaven's sake," he yelled loudly.

"It's not a relationship, that's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm just….learning from her," I yelled back just as loudly.

His eyes bugged out and he tried to respond but he just kept stuttering. To make things worse mom arrived at the top of the stairs. "Edward, what are you doing home?" she asked.

He looked up at her with regret, and I knew he hated to have to tell her about her promiscuous son. She walked nervously down the stairs and looked at me, appearing so innocent in my pajamas. Dad took a deep breath and shook his head before he said, "Bella, Budge has been sneaking out to meet a girl."

"Aw," she said and tilted her head to the side, "How romantic." For a split second I thought I had an ally. Sure, mom would understand, she was the one who told me to be myself. I smiled and she asked, "Who's your crush?"

I looked at dad and he suddenly looked terrified and actually took a step away from my mom. He was leaving me on my own when he should be my protector. I took my own step back and mom looked back and forth between us.

"Bella, try to remain calm," dad said, and I noticed he placed his hands in a manner to protect his jewels.

Mom went into some kind of trance as she processed the information. Her eyes suddenly grew wide and she gasped before grabbing the chair in front of her. "No," she yelled. "Oh my God, I'll call the doctor. Edward we have to move, no we'll get Emmett to shoot her and testify it was an accident. Budge, you poor baby, did she meet you in church? Wait, we don't go to church. Edward it is our fault because we don't go to church."

"Bella, Budge is willingly meeting her for sex," dad explained.

Mom turned her head slowly to look and me and then walked calmly to the utensil drawer and pulled out a large butcher knife. Dad quickly grabbed her hand to take it from her as she said, "Cut off his dangler, Edward. Dreamer will be happy to have a sister, oh my God, she'll want Dreamer next. They don't discriminate."

"Nobody is getting anything cut off," dad said much to my relief.

Just like the Calvary Trooper arrive in the nick of time. He walked down the stairs and mom ran to him, feeling his body as if there would be some sign he had been touched by Natalie. "Did she teach you anything son, you are advanced?"

"What's going on?" he asked with sleepy eyes.

Mom was hysterical and dad was ready to hyperventilate when Trooper finally suggested we all sit down. I made sure to sit at the end of the table, away from mom's grasp and the knife.

"Boys," dad said as he looked down, "I'm afraid this is my fault. I should have been open with you about my past."

"Dad, don't," Trooper said, obviously knowing something I didn't know.

If dad was willing to take the blame I felt we should let him, I mean he's a dad, it's what they do. Trooper gave me an evil glare telling me I better man up or else. I finally said, "I'm friends with Natalie Newton. We…do things together."

"Oh God, Budge," Trooper moaned.

"Hey, you date Casey Carson," I pointed out.

"I don't have sex with her," he yelled, and it shocked me a bit, not that he yelled but that he was keeping his dangler to himself. I thought for sure something happened on his birthday.

"Well, it is all I do with Natalie, we don't date," I said, as if that made everything okay.

Mom's eyes bugged out again and she said, "Son, she is doing that with several other boys, dozens, maybe even hundreds. She learned from the queen whore herself, Jessica Stanley Cullen Newton."

Her hand shot over her mouth and everyone sat stiffly as if they weren't even breathing. I looked at them with confusion and thought over mom's words. Jessica. Stanley. Cullen. Newton. My body went numb and I was ready to vomit when I asked, "Are we cousins?"

Dad reached out to take mom's hand and he spoke with tears in his eyes. "Jessica Stanley was my wife when I met your mother."

"Oh my God," I yelled, and jumped out of my chair. "Natalie is my sister?"

I was ready to pour bleach down my throat and cut my dangler off myself. I just got blown by my sister and it would ruin my psyche for life. Mom shook her head furiously and said, "No, he was only with the mamma whore. He didn't have anything to do with the baby whore."

My heart was pounding out of my chest and I tried to calm down. My dad was married before, big deal, it didn't bother me. As soon as I sat back in the chair dad said, "Jessica was my second wife."

I laughed at the joke and then noticed nobody else was laughing. Damn that Trooper for knowing something and keeping it from me. Mom patted dad's hand and said, "He lost his virginity to a southern girl, it was all very tragic."

Dad smiled and mom pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed it. I stared in disbelief. I had no idea who my father was and suddenly something hit me…Dreamer would commit Hari Kari if she found out. I looked up the stairs and dad's eyes followed mine. He knew what I was thinking and said, "My real life began the moment I met your mother."

"It's true," Mom said, "He even wrote on my arm that I would have his babies after we had sex on our first date."

Dad winced and Trooper and I both chuckled. It wasn't shocking since we grew up hearing them all the time.


	9. Chapter 9

9

Dad asked me to come into his office and sent Trooper and mom to bed. He held his hand open for my phone and I reluctantly handed it over. He looked through the pictures and then opened his drawer and put my phone inside of it. I squirmed a little in my chair. It wasn't fair for him to cut me off so completely.

"Budge, I want to talk to you about protection. Are you using condoms?"

"Once, I mean I have some, but so did she," I said to ease his mind.

"Once?" he pressed.

"Well, tonight she just…you know…." I wasn't sure how to word it so I used my finger and ran it in and out of my mouth. "And then she did herself….well, you saw the pictures."

Dad paled and he sat all the way back in his chair before letting his head drop into his hands. He shook his head back and forth and then said, "Budge, sex should be between two people who care for each other. I think you…."

"Dad, you're wrong," I stated clearly. "I'm never getting married. I have so much I want to do and…."

"Son, you feel that way now, but it will change. It is exactly why you shouldn't have casual sex. What if Natalie got pregnant?"

I chuckled and said, "Good luck finding the father."

He didn't laugh with me and narrowed his eyes to tell me he was not in the mood for jokes. I sat forward and tried my best to explain to him. "Dad, sometimes I feel like the clock is ticking, like I have only so many hours to discover everything and it is just waiting out there for me. I feel stuck, like the walls are moving closer and I'll get trapped in a life I don't want. I'm not like Trooper and if I can't be me I'd rather be dead."

He acted like he finally understood. He nodded and said, "Okay, no more sneaking out. You have to be upfront with us or you'll know what it feels like to be stuck in your room."

We both stood and he came around the desk and hugged me tightly. I took advantage of his affection and asked, "Can I have my phone back?" He got it from the drawer and placed it harshly into my hand. I smiled and he couldn't help but smile back at me.

When I got to my room Trooper was waiting for me. I knew tomorrow was going to be a struggle to stay awake for class. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, we came to an understanding. So you're really not sleeping with Casey?"

He shook his head and let it fall. "Do you love Natalie?" he asked.

I laughed loudly and he looked up at me. "No, I just want to learn from her so I can hook up with other girls. I'm not falling in love, ever. Why aren't you sleeping with Casey?" I really hoped he didn't bring up Emma, but it was inevitable.

"My entire body loves Emma. My heart and my dick only want her."

I felt sorry for my lovesick brother. I wanted to shake him and make him see all the opportunity out there. I encouraged him to just try with Casey and maybe he would be surprised. He smiled and stood before saying, "Get some sleep. If you need help with homework tomorrow, I'll help you."

"Thanks, Trooper," I said, and watched him walk out the door.

The next day we arrived at school the same time Emma did. Trooper walked quickly toward the building but I slowed down to wait for her. She glanced at me and I smiled, causing her to raise her eyebrows in a questioning manner.

"Emma, do you realize how crazy Trooper is over you?" I asked, because if she didn't I was going to clue her in. Her head dropped and a small smile formed on her face. I thought she was laughing at him and it angered me. "You are a first class bitch, you know it?"

Her head snapped up and she said angrily, "Stay out of things you aren't mature enough to understand."

I grabbed my crotch and said, "Understand this, bitch."

She stomped off and I had no idea what Trooper saw in her beyond her beauty. I was standing there waiting for my anger to subside when someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I turned to see one of Natalie's friends. I didn't even know her name but she leaned closer and said, "Want to have lunch today?"

I mentally took a moment to see if I was prepared or if I needed more time with Natalie first. I felt a quickie in a car during lunch was doable, so I asked, "When and where?"

"Meet me by the library," she whispered, and I nodded with approval.

During class Perry kept trying to get my attention. I was way beyond her level now and had no intention of pressing her to catch up. I opened my book and put my cheek in my hand to look like I was reading and closed my eyes. I spent most of the morning in that position.

At lunch I went to the library and waited for….whatever her name is. She came walking up with a friend and I suddenly got scared. I wasn't a quick study and this was too advanced for me. I was trying to come up with an excuse when the girl explained we were waiting for another guy to join us.

"I'll get rid of my backpack and come right back," I said, and ran toward the lockers. I came around a corner and jogged to a stop when out of the blue someone sideswiped me and posted me against the bricks.

His forearm had me pinned by the neck so I couldn't even speak. Trooper's eyes were wild with anger and he spoke through clenched teeth. "If you ever disrespect Emma again, I'll hurt you, understand?

I nodded just so he would let me go. Once his arm dropped I pushed at his chest. "You're going to take her side over mine?" I yelled. "What has she ever done but torture you? I'm your brother, Trooper. I have your back, not that prick teaser."

He ran at me, catching me by the waist and pushing me to the ground. I tried to get away but his grasp was too tight. We rolled on the dirt as we took swings at each other. I had never hit my brother before and didn't think the occasion would ever arise where I would want to. We were pulled apart by some teachers and I could tell by their shocked faces they blamed me for the entire incident.

We were both taken to the principal's office and our parents were called. I sat with my legs sprawled out in front of me and my arms folded tightly. I wasn't angry about missing lunchtime sex, I was angry my perfect brother chose Emma over me.

"Who wants to start?" Principle Barrett asked.

"I'm sorry," Trooper said, and I looked up to see if he was speaking to me, but he wasn't. "This was something that should have been handled at home."

"You were going to beat my ass at home?" I asked him as I glared.

"You're going to apologize to her," he said as his anger enflamed again.

"No I'm not," I said as I went back to my stubborn pose.

"Don't think you can treat her like you treat your whore," Trooper said, showing a whole new side to his personality. Not only was he confronting me but he was doing it bravely in front of a man who thought he was perfect.

"She's not MY whore, she's everybody's," I corrected.

"Is this about a girl?" the principle interrupted.

"Yes, an ice sculpture," I said, and chuckled like it was funny. Obviously it wasn't since nobody laughed with me.

"Our neighbor is a good friend of mine and my brother said some mean things to her. I just wanted to convince him to apologize," Trooper said politely.

"The truth hurts," I announced, and shrugged my shoulders.

We all sat quietly and Trooper finally asked, "Are our parents coming down here?"

"No, they were just made aware of the fight. This time it is a warning, if it happens again they will pick you up for a two week suspension."

We both nodded in understanding and were given permission to leave. Trooper headed in the opposite direction of me and I jogged over to the library to see if anyone was around. I realized I had lost my pack during the fight and went to the lockers to see if it was there. I wasted the entire lunch hour and didn't even get anything to eat.

News of the fight spread like wildfire. Everyone was asking if it was true Trooper actually got angry. Nobody seemed surprised it was focused toward me. We must have been the subject of a lot of gossip because senior girls were suddenly looking at me in a whole new way. I realized Trooper had talked to Emma and she was talking to everyone else. My newfound skill was now public knowledge.

When school was over I walked to the car and got into the backseat. Dreamer gave me an odd look and climbed in next to Trooper. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," we both said at the same time. The rest of the drive was in silence.

When we pulled into the driveway we saw both mom and dad on the porch. Dreamer got out of the car before I mumbled, "Shit."

Trooper turned to look at me and said, "Budge, you know I never take a stand, but this is different. I won't let you talk to Emma that way. She means too much to me."

"Don't you realize I talked to her that way because you mean so much to me?" I asked, desperate to make him understand I was the person deserving his loyalty.

He shook his head and looked down at his lap. "This has to be separate, Budge. I can't take care of everyone if I don't have my own reason for breathing."

"Boys?" dad yelled, telling us they were growing impatient with us.

We both looked out the window and then I reached for the car door as I said, "I'm sorry, Trooper. I'll apologize to Emma, too."

We both got out of the car and Trooper held out my backpack for me. I laughed and took it before asking, "Do you plan on taking care of me through college too?"

"Absolutely," he answered, and I knew he meant it.

We headed toward the porch and saw mom eating a bag of chocolate chips and dad bouncing his knee back and forth in frustration. We hung our heads as if completely ashamed of ourselves and stood remorseful in front of them.

"It is Jasper's fault," mom announced, "All that southern fighting splits up families."

"We're growing into men and sometimes we need to be reminded we're still boys," Trooper conceded, but I wasn't sure what he meant. If he was talking about sex I was certainly a man, I had done it twice, and watched it once. I wasn't still a boy and I had no desire to remain one.

"I know you've had some shocking information handed to you and it was bound to bring up some issues. I just want you to know you can come to me with questions," Dad said, shouldering all the blame for something that had nothing to do with him.

"Dad, this was about me and Budge, it had nothing to do with your marriage to Jessica Newton," Trooper said to ease his conscience.

We heard a loud gasp and then heavy footsteps coming toward the porch. The screen door flew open and Dreamer stood with her hands pulled into fists and her chest heaving. "Mrs. Newton touched my daddy?" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

At least the focus was off me and Trooper for fighting.


	10. Chapter 10

10

I stood at the McCarty's front door and stared at the brass knocker. I wasn't sure what to say and I knew every word would be sent directly to Trooper. I still thought Emma was a bitch, but Trooper loved this bitch and I had to accept it.

I reached out and knocked and decided to just wing my apology. The door opened and Rose smiled at me. "Hi Budge, is everything okay at your house? I heard horrible screaming."

"Yeah, Dreamer found out dad's been married before," I explained, and Rose understood immediately. "Is Emma home?"

She opened the door wider to let me enter and I felt much braver on the porch. Emmett was a big guy and intimidating without the gun and uniform. Rose called Emma and asked me to have a seat. I didn't want Rose around for the apology because she was just as intimidating as Emmett.

Emma walked into the room and looked at me with rage. I glanced at her mom and she caught on and asked her to leave the room. It helped a lot. I finally said, "I'm apologizing for what I said. It isn't that I don't believe it, because I do. But my brother wants me to apologize so I'm doing it for him."

"Budge, I leave for college in a few months. I want Trooper to have a great senior year. I want him to date and experience everything he should experience, not simply wait at home for me to visit."

When she said it like that it sounded…nice. She was becoming less bitchy by the moment. I kind of felt sorry for them both to be separated after spending their lives connected at the hip.

"Your brother is the greatest guy I know," Emma said as her tears formed. "The best thing I can do is push him away."

"Yeah, okay. I'm sorry I called you names," I said, feeling it deeper now.

"Are you really sleeping with Natalie?" she asked, and made a face like she wanted to vomit.

"To be the best you have to learn from the best," I said with a huge grin. Emma rolled her eyes and opened the door, telling me it was time to leave her presence.

I jogged back home and was relieved to see dad had gone to work. Dreamer was in her nightgown on the couch with a blanket as she gasped from her hard crying. I opened my mouth to tease her but she screamed with an ear deafening pitch and I backed away.

Trooper was trying to calm mom down, and spare her from devouring an entire bag of chocolate chips. I walked into the kitchen and said, "I apologized to Emma. I understand her a lot better now."

"Thank you, Budge," Trooper said, and gave me a hug.

I looked at my mother and she smiled widely as she wiped a tear. Her teeth were covered in chocolate and it made her look toothless. "Gross mom," I said. "Um….I'm going to the game tonight."

I was ready to point out to her dad said I could do things if I kept them informed and didn't sneak out of the house. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the pantry to talk right into my face. "Budge, there are things Natalie knows that you don't."

I couldn't swallow as the thought of my mother teaching me anything about sex turned my mouth dry. "I think Dreamer's crying for you," I lied to make an escape.

"Trooper's home, he'll take care of her," mom said without any concern. "Her mother would fake orgasms so I'm sure Natalie does too."

"Mom, please," I begged, and actually considered hitting her over the head with my shoe to make her stop talking.

"Just show me what she does when she orgasms and I'll tell you if it is real or not," she offered. "Daddy really got Jess off, but Jake didn't."

I could taste a bit of bile coming up the back of my throat and I felt a little proud for my dad, even if it was twisted to feel that way. "I'll stay home tonight," I offered, making mom nod and open the pantry door.

Sex wasn't worth this much trouble. I wanted my parents to be open minded, but if it meant sharing stories I would sneak around during lunch and appear like an angel at home. She decided to take us all out to dinner. Dreamer insisted she was too distraught to eat, but once she was dressed and in the car her appetite seemed to return.

We went to a hamburger place and when I ordered mom looked at me and asked, "Are you sure that is enough protein? It takes a lot for…you know."

Trooper chuckled and Dreamer looked at me in confusion. "I'm fifteen, it doesn't take much protein," I insisted.

"Well, drink a lot of water," she insisted, pushing the glass toward me. "And if your pee is ever cloudy let me or daddy know right away."

"Mom," I said loudly.

She looked at me and then nodded. "You're right, you're a man now. Take care of your own diseased dangler."

I felt nothing like a man. I felt like my mother was teasing me and I wanted to cry. I understood I jumped into this blindly, but it was how I did things. If I thought things through like Trooper I would be a virgin for most of my life. I had to find some way to stop the sideways glances and biting remarks. I squared my shoulders and said, "Mom, let this go and I'll go to college."

Trooper's ear perked right up, because he knew it would be extra work for him if I actually went. Mom got really quiet and then held out her pinky and said, "Promise?"

I hooked my pinky finger with hers and said, "Yeah, I promise."

There was no more sex talk for the rest of the evening. After we got home I was in my room and Grandpa Swan called asking if I wanted to go fishing on Saturday. I loved the outdoors and I jumped at the chance. He asked me to get some decent bait and he would pay me for it.

I sent a text to a kid on the reservation and asked him to get me some great earth worms and I would send him some erotic pictures of Natalie. He jumped at the chance and I knew I was going to make a load of money off of grandpa.

The next day everyone in school knew everything about my life. I was suddenly the most popular boy in my grade. Rumors led to exaggerations and by the time school ended I was the father of several imaginary babies. I was headed to Trooper's car when a girl caught my eye. She smiled and nodded at me causing me to turn around to see if her smile was for someone else.

I pointed to my chest and she laughed and shook her head up and down. I walked over to find out who she was. "Hi," I said.

"Where's your other shoe?" she asked.

"Um…I think it is in the science lab," I said sheepishly. "I'm Budge Cullen."

"I know," she said with a laugh, "I was a peer tutor to your fifth grade class."

"Are you a senior?" I asked, praying she would say yes.

"I graduated midterm. I'm just picking up my little sister. My name is Missy."

I looked her up and down and then noticed the car she was leaning on. It was large and roomy, perfect for a guy who needed a lot of room. "I have tickets to Road Rage," I said, considering keeping the tickets.

"I'm not a fan," she said, and continued to stare right into my eyes.

I gave her a half smile and said, "I'm just trying to be polite."

She looked back at her empty car and gave me a quick toss of her head and said, "Then get in."

I turned to look for Trooper and saw him waiting by his car with Dreamer. I yelled over that I would find a ride home and to tell mom and dad I would be home later. When he drove away I was still standing next to the roomy car talking to Missy.

Her sister showed up when most of the parking lot was empty. She wasn't as pretty as Missy and didn't have any personality. Missy drove as I sat in the passenger seat. I was glad I lost my shoe today and not the condoms in my pocket. I thought she would drop off her sister, but she turned the car off and opened her door.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked.

"My mom works nights, only my sister is home."

I felt like a thief stealing my way into this home. I would have been more comfortable sneaking off into the woods and doing it on the ground. I followed Missy up to her room and my eyes widened at the sight of a king size bed.

As soon as the door shut she was all over me. Natalie didn't spend too much time kissing, but Missy seemed to enjoy that part of it. She began rubbing herself up and down on me so I made my move toward the bed. She pulled me down with her onto the mattress and began saying very sweet things to me.

I felt a little uncomfortable and decided to let her know this did not make us a couple. "Missy, this is just sex and nothing more."

She laughed loudly and I rolled onto my back. "You can't even drive and I'm in Junior College."

I looked over at her beautiful face and asked, "Why did you bring me here"

She laughed and leaned up on her elbow as she played with my hair. "I thought it was obvious."

"Yeah, I know I'm here for sex, but are you just horny or what?" I was seriously curious. She was very pretty and any college guy would happily take my place. She had to be playing some game and I wanted to know what it was.

Her eyes dropped and her demeanor changed to one of sadness. She shook her head a bit and said, "There's this guy who I really like, but I'm afraid he'll think I'm too inexperienced or boring. I heard you slept with Natalie Newton, so I thought you could teach me some things."

"Me?" I gasped, causing my voice to break and making me sound like I just hit puberty. I hadn't flown solo yet, I couldn't teach anyone anything.

"Yeah, I'll do whatever you suggest. I want to wow the guy and give him something different."

She moved onto her knees and looked at me with a desperate expression. I wasn't sure if I should run or at least give it a try. "Are you a virgin?" I asked.

"No," she said to comfort me. "I've only had sex in the missionary position."

I glanced around her room and saw a chair by her desk. "Does that chair recline?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded enthusiastically. I sighed and looked back at her to see her nod and pull off her shirt. "Okay, let's give it a try," I said, and moved to the chair.


	11. Chapter 11

11

I was only an hour late from school and Dad made sure he stuck around until I got there. I walked through the back door and tried to act as normal as possible. I walked into the kitchen and held up my foot so they could see we had another shoe issue.

"Where were you?" dad asked.

"I was with a friend, I told Trooper to let you know," I said, and tried to act offended.

"You were in Nastylie's bed and we all know it," mom yelled.

"I was not," I said, and raised my voice above hers.

"Give me your phone," Dad demanded.

I folded my arms and looked right at him. "No," I said forcefully. "I'm telling you the truth and if I'm being open with you it has to work both ways."

"Okay, Budge where were you?" dad asked again as a challenge. He expected me to lie, but I had no reason to lie since I wasn't actually with Natalie.

"I wasn't with Natalie and I wasn't in a bed. I was with Missy and it was in a chair," I said truthfully, feeling like a man for being honest.

It was like my words sucked the oxygen out of the room for some reason. Mom and Dad looked at each other and I could have sworn they both blushed. "Well, I'm late for the club, I better get going," dad said, and quickly left the room.

Mom walked around me looking for something and then asked, "Are you injured?"

"Injured, no," I laughed. I don't know why she would think I was injured by a chair. It wasn't like we were doing it on the edge of a cliff or something. The chair was great and my stamina impressed us both.

"Are you lying about the chair?" she asked, as she stood directly in front of me and watched me very closely.

"No, maybe you and dad should give it a try," I teased, and headed up the stairs. I only made it a few steps when an entire fist full of chocolate chips hit me in the back of the head. I spun around to look at my mom in shock.

"Sorry, Budge. My hand slipped," she said, and walked away.

I got a text later than night from Natalie informing me she had started her period and would be out of commission for five days. I don't know why she was telling me, I wasn't her property and she didn't owe me an explanation.

I took a shower and then fell onto my bed. I was beat and slept until I was called down for dinner. I sat at the table and looked a Dreamer. There was something different about her but I couldn't put my finger on it. She caught me watching and stuck her tongue out at me.

"You use that tongue like an expert. Are you kissing boys behind the school?" I teased her.

"I only kiss daddy," she said angrily.

Mom put a plate in front of her and patted her head as she said, "Honey, don't kiss daddy with your tongue, you don't know where his face has been."

"I don't," Dreamer protested, and then turned back to me. "I heard you kiss girls with your dangler."

"Dreamer," Mom yelled, "don't say the word pen….oh yeah, with his dangler."

"This isn't dinner conversation," Trooper said, "Change the subject, Dreamer."

"Who said that?" I asked her, wondering why sixth graders were talking about me.

"Kellan's sister said you gave a girl her kitten so she would let you touch her with your dangler."

I took a bite of my food and planned to beat the shit out of Kellan. I didn't care if he needed to tell his sister where the cat was going or not, my sex life was not a topic for his family's entertainment.

"I think boys are gross," Dreamer announced, as if she would receive an award for her opinion. "Jasmine said boys are only good for diamonds."

I nudged Trooper's arm and said, "Yeah, it will cost her all her diamonds to get a boy to touch her."

Trooper tried not to smile and had to take a drink of his milk to keep from doing it. "Don't listen to Jasmine," I told Dreamer. "She is every guy's biggest nightmare."

"Why?" Dreamer asked, unaware anyone could find anything wrong with prissy Jasmine.

"She wears expensive clothes, expensive jewelry, expensive makeup….hey, that's what is different with you tonight, you have on makeup."

Trooper kicked me under the table and then turned to Dreamer and said, "You look very pretty. It is subtle so your natural beauty shows through."

Sometimes I wondered if Trooper wasn't a bit gay. I knew he had his own dangler, because I'd seen it, but sometimes he made me wonder. If he wasn't drooling over Emma all the time I would have been suspicious.

"Your lashes look like spider legs," I said, and then took a big bite of food.

"Well, you have dirt on your neck, pig," she observed.

I reached up and ran my hand over my neck hoping it wasn't there when Missy was sucking on it. Trooper shook his head at me to stop me for drawing attention to myself, but it was too late. Mom walked over and moved my hand to look for herself.

"You have a hickey," she gasped.

"Really?" I said, unable to contain my smile. I didn't feel like I had been marked…it was like I earned my stripes, brought home my merit badge, or received my diploma. A hickey was nature's way to say you had made that connection between your brain and your balls.

"What's a hickey?" Dreamer asked.

"A Stanley family birthmark," mom answered, and Dreamer furrowed her brow and tried to figure out what it meant.

Trooper turned to Dreamer and explained, "A hickey is when someone sucks on your skin hard enough to break blood vessels. It is similar to a bruise."

"Why would someone do that to you?" she asked me. Her voice was soft and she was obviously feeling sorry for me.

I acted like I was in a trance and spoke with a monotone as I said, "She was from Transylvania and said she wanted to make me one of the living dead. Then she sucked my blood, turning me into…." I jumped from my chair and dove for Dreamer's neck as I said, "Vampire!"

She screamed and flung her arms at me as we all laughed hysterically. Mom leaned over to Trooper and said, "He's doing a foreign girl? No wonder they can work the chair".

I had to admit Missy did more for my confidence than Natalie could ever do. It appeared I had come to an understanding with mom and dad and I was no longer the freak of the school.

I settled into an easy routine and woke up early Saturday morning to go fishing with grandpa. I showed him my container full of fat worms and he handed me a fifty. We drove to our favorite fishing hole and sat in his small boat as we cast our rods. Grandpa spoke without looking at me. "Are you causing your parents grief, Budge?"

I looked over at him and wanted to smack myself for not figuring this out earlier. He was on a mission, most likely sent by mom. I wasn't going to let him pull one over on me so I said, "You tell me. Obviously we're here for a reason."

He turned and gave me his threatening stare honed over years of being a cop. "I know all about the trouble young men can get into and I also know how important it is to keep you busy. If you're working hard you'll stay out of trouble, so I got you a job."

"I'm not getting into trouble," I said angrily. "I'm a normal male and there is nothing wrong with coming to terms with my sexuality."

Grandpa wasn't as easily reasoned with as dad. He rolled his eyes at me and said, "If you don't keep your pecker in your pants you'll end up in trouble, I guarantee it."

"Maybe in your day," I mumbled.

"In my day?" he said with a chuckle. "Nothing has changed since 'my day.' I got you a job as an intern with the forest service. You can't get into trouble if you come home exhausted."

It actually didn't sound too bad. I enjoyed the outdoors and it would give me money to bargain for more valuable things. I also knew I would never work so hard I would be too exhausted for sex. "When?" I asked him.

"You'll do an orientation tomorrow, but only work Monday and Wednesday afternoons and then all day Saturday into Sunday morning."

"I have to work all night?" I asked, because it was my only free night he was talking about.

"Not work, but camp out with the crew."

"You're kidding?" I said, as angrily as I could. He was cock blocking me and I didn't like it.

"You'll work with three other kids who are on probation, two boys and a girl."

I didn't like that I was being grouped with criminals just because I was sexually active, but he mentioned a girl so I was going to hold my tongue until I check her out. It might not be too bad being stuck with a juvenile delinquent.

I talked to grandpa about sports and current affairs. He told me a few police stories and we had a great day together. I had a string of great fish for mom to prepare, but I forgot them on the shore as we loaded up the boat. I walked into the back of the house smelling like all kinds of stink with nothing to show for it.

Mom yelled for me to drop my clothes in the laundry room so I stripped down to my boxers and walked into the kitchen. Alice and Jasmine were there and I noticed Alice was the only one to look away from me. Jasmine looked directly at my boxers so I said, "Man, Jasmine, take a picture it will last longer."

"As if," she said, and turned away.

"Budge, go shower," mom instructed, "But lock the door in case she's like her aunt."

"Bella, Edward was just as culpable," Alice said, to defend someone from something. "He wasn't handicapped you know."

"He married Jess, yes he was," mom yelled at Alice.

Jasmine laughed loudly and turned to look at me. I knew she had the information she needed to cause me problems. I turned to run upstairs but she spoke too quickly. "It turns out you might end up related after all."

I turned to face her and kept a very calm expression. "You are not the only one with information. Think very hard before you decide to spar with me."

Her face went about four shades whiter and her eyes dropped to the table. I knew it; Jasmine wasn't as prissy as she pretended to be. I actually had nothing on her, nor would I take the time to listen to anything if I had the chance. I just wanted her to think I did.

I turned back and ran hearing Jasmine tell Alice she had no idea what I was talking about.

I got up early the next morning and Trooper drove me to the Forest Service office in Forks. I walked in the front door and was directed to a room with three other teens. Two of the boys looked like they stepped out of a Murderers Weekly magazine, but the girl was hot. She had a pierced lip and a pierced nose; I was hoping she had other things pierced too.

I sat next to her and said, "Hey, I'm Budge, I'll be the one _not_ working alongside you."

She laughed and turned to face me, showing just how large her chest was in the tight black t-shirt. "I'm Tori, I'll be the one sneaking off the mountain."

I placed my hand over my heart and said, "I think we're going to be great friends."


	12. Chapter 12

12

There is nothing more annoying than a ranger in charge of incorrigible teens. He tried to intimidate us by talking of bears. Then he tried to scare us by talking about all the hard work we would be doing. Finally he tried to reform us, by telling us how much faith he had in our abilities to make him proud. I just wanted him to shut up so I could hit on Tori.

She seemed dangerous, and not as if she might possibly have a disease like Natalie. Her movements were deliberate and harsh. I kept sneaking a peak at her but she never looked in my direction. Her ability to totally ignore me got me hot.

When we finally went for a tour on the mountain I made sure to be placed in the same jeep as Tori. The other two criminals could find their own mountain buddy. We hit the trails and I could see her chest bouncing up and down. It reminded me of jello and I was suddenly very hungry.

"How did you end up here?" I finally asked her.

"That prick Swan thought I would learn a lesson by watching men play with their wood all day," she said without a hint of a smile.

"What an idiot," I teased, "Everyone knows you can do that all day at school, who needs to work on a mountain for that?"

She finally smiled and turned to look at me, making her juggling chest even more noticeable. "You play with your wood all day at school?" she challenged me.

I held up my hand to the side of my mouth and pretended to tell her a secret. "It's my wood, but I don't do the playing."

She laughed loudly and then said, "Exactly how old are you?"

I was a bit offended. Why did it matter how old I was? As long as I had working parts and the desire to work those said parts, she shouldn't care how old my parts were.

"Old enough," I announced, refusing to give her a number.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

I gave my reason silently in my head to see if it sounded ridiculous. It did. I could tell her my grandfather sent me here to make me too sleepy for sex with the region sex toy. I improvised and picked something I knew would make my mother proud. "Let's just say I don't have an affinity for people from the south."

It wasn't a total lie, I mean I did actually threaten Jasmine and I didn't like her one bit. My vagueness was just enough to intrigue Tori and she slyly scooted closer to me. I put my arm around the back of the seat, letting her consider my wood as we bounced along.

We arrived at the work site and I grew a bit worried when I saw it was filled with men in their late twenties. Surely they had things to teach Tori way more interesting than I had. I watched her as we took the tour and she didn't seem interested in anyone.

When we got back to the jeep she laughed and leaned in close to talk to me. I could feel her breath on my face and I desperately wanted to bounce her chest with my hand. "This will be a piece of cake sneaking out of here."

I pointed to an outcropping of rocks and said, "See over there. It's a natural spring."

She smiled and then pointed at something behind me. "See that electricity substation, there's a deserted forest cabin close to there."

We left the mountain excited about our new jobs. I had the perfect situation. A girl from Forks high and a girl from Port Angeles high and neither one wanted any commitment from me. My only problem was keeping a ready supply of condoms. I was going through them faster than I wanted Trooper to know, so I was forced to begin acquiring my own.

I began with one box, and sold them individually for five bucks each to guys who wanted to pretend they needed them. Then I began asking the girls at school if they had any I could borrow. Not wanting to appear innocent they purchased their own boxes and brought me the entire contents. I didn't have to pay a cent for enough protection to last the remainder of the school year.

Every once in a while dad would hand me a handful to make sure I was being responsible. I think it made him feel like he was being responsible. I was extremely cautious, because I didn't plan on getting stuck with either Tori or Natalie. My life was great clear up until the night of Emma's graduation.

We all attended, the men in ties and the girls in heels. Dreamer was starting to get actual curves and I noticed other boys looking at her. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I wanted to be open minded, but she was my sister so it was disturbing.

We sat next to the McCarty's and I looked around for Casey, who was Trooper's constant companion now. I guess he didn't want her there to watch him idolize Emma as she gave her speech and walked across the stage to get her diploma. Her name was read and we all stood and cheered loudly as she walked to the podium. Her speech was classic, mentioning all the milestones her class had gone through together.

One part stuck out for me. She said, _"We now move on to a new phase of our lives, but we will never forget the moment when we felt proud, or successful, or gained knowledge about a new subject. The moment I will never forget is when I felt loved. Good luck to the graduating class, and farewell."_

I glanced at Trooper to see what he thought of her speech. I wondered what moment she was talking about and if it had anything to do with him or one of the guys she taunted him with. Trooper didn't look back at me, but rose and scooted past the row of people and left the auditorium.

Everyone turned their heads and watched him leave. I knew his heart was breaking so I got up and followed him. He was standing outside against the building and out of the rain. I leaned against the bricks next to him and said, "So, you're a big senior now."

"Yeah, I am," he sighed.

"And it doesn't make you happy?" I asked, because I was counting down the days when I could graduate.

"We live in such a tiny area of the world, but it suddenly feels so much larger," he said, getting all philosophical like Trooper was prone to do. He turned to look at me and asked, "When you go to college, do you plan on coming back here often?"

"Hell no," I said adamantly. "If I can't find better things to do with my weekends and vacations….."

I suddenly realized what he was asking. He knew Emma would grow beyond this city and have tons of reasons never to return. I hoped she stayed away for good, so Trooper could find some semblance of joy in his life. I was quiet for a minute and then said, "God, Trooper. I have no idea how you feel. I don't love anyone like you love Emma so I can't pretend to know what to say. But you've always been there for me and I'm here for you if you need me."

"I'm afraid, Budge," he said softly. "I'm afraid I will marry the wrong woman and always feel empty."

"Maybe if you stick around here, but look at how big the world is, don't you want to see every corner? Every country is filled with women you can't even imagine. They are out there and I want to know them."

He chuckled and said, "I think we are talking about two different things. But you are right about the world being big. I'm sure there is someplace that needs me, I just need to find it."

They began announcing the names of the graduates so we went back inside to watch Emma. When it was over we all made our way to the auditorium floor to congratulate her. There was going to be a small party at her house so we began to fight the crowd to get to our cars.

I was just at the edge of the parking lot when someone called my name. I looked up to see Tori smiling at me. My eyes grew wide at the sight of her in a dress and I pulled her into a tight hug just as another familiar voice said, "Hi Budge."

I turned to see Natalie standing with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face. "Oh hi," I said, and felt very uncomfortable with the situation and not sure who to give my attention to.

"I want to see you tonight," Natalie said possessively.

"He's busy," Tori said with a threatening tone.

Natalie thrust out her large chest and said, "Budge, you're not going to stand me up for this dyke are you?"

"Who are you calling a dyke, slut?"

I wanted to point out to Tori that Natalie didn't mind being called a slut. It was like a policeman being called a cop. But suddenly they were on the ground pulling each other's hair and screaming the word bitch and the end of each sentence.

A crowd gathered to either see the fight or to see the bare asses of both girls. I jumped into the middle to separate them but it took Emmett's help to actually pull them apart. "Stop it," I yelled at them both. "Neither of you owns me. I'm going to a party so both of you leave me alone."

My ego was soaring, I was the man taking charge, until I heard a woman say, "You little Cullen bastard. Don't you dare treat my daughter this way."

I looked over to see Natalie's mom glaring at me and the image of her legs in the air rushed into my head throwing me off for a second. I didn't respond quickly enough so someone else had to defend me.

"Talk to my kid again and my foot will be so far up your ass when you open your mouth the word Sketchers will show."

That caught my attention! I turned to see my mother standing behind me. She looked almost animalistic the way she was glaring with her head down and her eyes raised. Jessica took a step closer and I wondered if they were going to actually fight, then I began to pray mom was wearing panties.

Suddenly dad appeared out of nowhere between the two women and held his hands out to keep them apart. Mom smacked his hand but he held firm before saying, "Ladies, this isn't the place….."

"Ladies?" mom yelled. "Jessica loose labia lips Stanley is NOT a lady."

Jessica tried to move closer again but dad pushed her back. "Bella, you are crazy and everybody knows it. The whole city pities Edward for being stuck with you. You can come back to my bed anytime, baby," she said to my dad, trying to sound sympathetic.

The sound rose from the back of the crowd like a siren warning of impending doom. Some people covered their ears and looked around in confusion, but I knew that sound intimately. I looked around the circle of spectators to see a break in the crowd as people moved out of the way. Dreamer's eyes were wild and her hands were held like talons in front of her. She ran right at Jessica and knocked her to the ground, showing the crowd Jessica was in fact NOT wearing panties.

Dreamer got a fist full of hair in both hands and was jerking wildly as tufts began to come out in her grasp. "Did you touch my daddy?" she screamed over and over again until Emmett, dad, and Trooper were finally able to pull her off.

Mom and I remained where we were and enjoyed the show.

Jessica jumped from the ground and pointed at Dreamer. "She's as crazy as her mother," she tried to say, but Dreamer began screaming at an ear piercing level again and everyone covered their ears.

"Bella, Budge, get in the car," Dad yelled as he and Trooper pulled Dreamer away.

I followed right behind, but mom turned to face the crowd and said, "I actually have on panties." Then she raised her dress to show everyone her panties that said prominently….**Just Do It.**


	13. Chapter 13

13

I had a great summer. I worked fulltime with the forest service and learned if I carried chewing tobacco and cigarettes on me I could make a ton of money off the rangers. I camped out with them when we worked in obscure areas. I learned the fastest route to the La Push reservation through the back trails and met some pretty hot native girls. But the biggest moment was turning sixteen. I thought I was now truly free.

Natalie still called once in a while, but Tori wouldn't even speak to me anymore. It didn't matter because the dark skinned girls from La Push had my total attention now. I drove my used small truck to First Beach to show off my wheels. Kimberly came running up to check it out and I smiled when she looked at the bed of the truck.

"This is awesome," she squealed.

"You'll literally see stars this time," I joked, and she laughed as she played with her long black hair.

A girl I hadn't seen before walked over to join Kimberly. She wasn't as dark as the other girls, although she was definitely native. She had a gorgeous smile and large almond shaped eyes. I wondered how I had missed noticing this girl.

"Are you ready?" she asked Kimberly.

They both looked at me and I decided to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Budge Cullen, this is my birthday present, want to help me break it in?"

"Stop it, Budge," Kimberley warned me. "Kelsie is a good girl."

Why couldn't I hit on a good girl? I found every girl a good girl. I didn't judge or discriminate. Actually I tried to purposefully stay away from virgins, but I felt I had enough experience now to go to the undiscovered country.

"I didn't say she wasn't," I said, and winked at the gorgeous girl.

"I'm just here for the summer visiting my dad," she explained, and it sounded even better. She couldn't be too clingy if she was leaving in a couple of weeks.

"Do you want to take a ride?" I asked her. Kimberly hissed at me and walked off in anger.

Kelsie looked back at her and then said, "I should go after her."

I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. I smiled in earnest and said, "You would have a lot more fun if you take a ride with me."

She smiled and finally nodded. I opened the door for her to climb in and then walked around to my side. I started the engine and then looked over at her as I patted the spot next to me. She scooted over and I placed my hand on her knee before driving off.

She told me she was from California and lived with her mother. She came to La Push during the summer to see her father. I drove to a remote spot on the shore and pulled over as the sun set over the ocean. "It's beautiful," she said softly.

"Yeah, you really are," I said into her ear, and then kissed her neck. I could feel her shiver and it made me smile. I hadn't been with a shy girl and I loved the challenge. I took hold of her chin and brought her face around to mine. I inhaled loudly and said, "Absolutely breathtaking."

She stretched her neck to connect with my mouth and I pulled her into my arms. I could tell she was hesitant, not sure if she should escalate anything or how far she was willing to go. This would take a lot of time and I just hoped I could keep it up long enough.

My hand slowly made its way to her breast and I could feel her beginning to shake. I pulled away from her mouth long enough to say, "You can tell me to stop at any time."

I would stop; at least I think I would stop. She looked into my eyes for a moment and then lightly shook her head back and forth. She was giving me the green light and I returned to our deep kisses. I was getting really worked up and finally said, "Let's get in the back of the truck."

"Okay," she answered.

I grabbed a foam bedroll and laid it out in the bed of the truck and then helped her up. She took off her shoes and it made me chuckle. This was fate bringing her to me. I took off my own shoes and then pulled her onto the mat with me.

I rolled onto her but she left her legs extended straight underneath me. I kissed my way to her ear and said, "Wrap your legs around me. Let me feel how hot you are." She quickly moved to obey and I sighed, "Oh God, amazing."

I could feel her heart pounding fiercely and I moved down to kiss her heaving chest. I pulled up her shirt and loved the look of her tanned skin in contrast to her white bra. When I returned to her mouth I lined up our pelvises and rubbed against her. She whimpered and I needed to have her touch me. I pulled her hand to my jeans and she held it awkwardly without moving. I placed my hand over hers and showed her how to move.

I moved to her side to give her better access and worked my hand into her jeans. When I touched her she opened her eyes wide and tensed. I held still and looked at her. She was trembling from fear and her own body desiring so much more.

"Does this feel good?" I asked her, slowly moving deeper with my fingers.

Her eyes rolled back and she let out a huff of air. "Yes," she finally said.

Her own hand grew more adventurous and she moved it inside my jeans. She wrapped her hand completely around me and said with a shaky voice, "It's so big."

I laughed loudly at her observation even though I knew it was her innocence speaking. "Thank you," I said, and she blushed. I raised my head to make sure we were still the only vehicle around before beginning to remove her clothing.

"You are so beautiful," I told her honestly. She shook her head back and forth and I didn't understand how she could have any doubt.

I sat up on my knees to remove my jeans and she began to cry. I was stunned and didn't know what to do. I hadn't hurt her in any way; I had been very tender and very nice. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I'm scared," she told me as she wiped her eyes.

I remembered that feeling even though I was totally willing to go through with everything. I wasn't ready for this responsibility and I couldn't bear to see this beauty crying because of me. I buttoned my jeans back up and used my shirt to cover her nude body before lying on her and kissing her tears from her face.

"Don't cry, I'll stop," I promised.

"I'm sorry," she said with embarrassment. "I liked everything you were doing but it just went too far."

"Okay," I said and smiled down at her. I kissed her softly and said, "This is enough."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me tightly to her body. She kissed me like it was her profession and arched into me willingly. I had to keep reminding myself to keep my jeans firmly attached to my ass.

I let my hands wander and she didn't stop me. I wanted her so badly and I got a little rough causing her to push my fingers away and cry out. I looked down to see blood on my hand and I quickly began apologizing. I grabbed my shirt and placed it between her legs.

"I'm okay," she said, "It just stung a little."

"I don't think you are technically a virgin anymore," I told her sadly. I wished it happened differently and I felt like a clumsy oaf who should have stuck with easy girls.

She held my chin in her hand and said, "Will you write to me when I go home?"

Oh man, now it was my turn to be afraid. I didn't know if I should lie to her or let her know up front I wasn't the pen pal type. Instead of answering I asked, "You'll be back next summer, right?"

"Yeah, I come in June," she told me with a big smile on her face.

"Great, we'll have all summer," I said, and hoped she didn't realize I hadn't promised to write. I began handing her clothing so she could dress and put my white t-shirt on even though it was marked with blood.

I drove her back to First Beach and after kissing her goodbye I heard someone yell, "Kelsie, your father is looking for you." I drove away as quickly as possible.

I pulled out my phone and called Natalie. I was all worked up with nobody to work. She answered after the first ring. "I was just thinking about you, Budge."

"Sure you were," I said, letting her know I didn't fall for her tricks. "I want to show you my wheels."

"You graduated off the dirt bike?" she laughed.

"You know me, I'll ride anything," I said back.

"Get over here and ride me," she stated, and it was the words I had been waiting for. When I told her where I was she groaned and said with a pout, "What am I going to do until you get here?"

"Do you still have that vibrator in your glove box?" She laughed and I quickly added, "But I want to stay on the phone."

I picked up the speed as she made noises to drive me insane. By the time I got to her house I could hardly walk. I didn't have time for any pleasantries and picked her up off her feet and placed her on the counter to shave off unnecessary seconds. I was now an expert at fast condom application and didn't waste any time with foreplay.

I came so hard it almost sent me to my knees. Natalie looked at me with shock and said, "What in the hell is up with you?"

"I've had a hard day," I said as a pun.

She looked at my shirt and leaned over to smell it. "Oh God, you were with a virgin, no wonder you were all worked up."

Natalie's sexual knowledge always managed to amaze me. I pulled my pants back up and felt suddenly very exhausted. I reached for a cup and got a drink of water. Natalie sat cross legged on the counter and asked, "So, is Trooper finally sleeping with Casey?"

"I doubt it; he's working with the boys and girls club, getting all socially conscious and shit."

"Why do you think he dates her if he doesn't like her?" she questioned further.

"He likes her," I objected. "He doesn't love her, but he thinks she's a nice girl. He wants to see her believe in herself."

"He is such a wuss," she said, and I knew her opinion was because he wouldn't give her a second look.

"No he's not; he's a good guy, a really truly good guy." I put the cup in the sink and then headed out the door. I didn't like her passing judgment on my saintly brother. I headed home with plans to go right to bed.

I pulled into the driveway and parked next to Trooper's car. I entered through the back door and went right to the fridge. I was hungry and not sure what I wanted when my mom yelled for me to stop letting all the cold out.

I shut the fridge and opened the pantry. I grabbed a handful of my mom's ever present chocolate chips and headed to the stairs when the doorbell rang. Mom answered and I turned to see who it was. A large man with huge muscles was standing there and he wasn't alone. He pushed a young girl into the house and I stared at the wide, terrified eyes of Kelsie.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Jacob the cheater Black," mom said, obviously knowing the man. I had a very strong feeling my great summer just came to an abrupt end.


	14. Chapter 14

14

Two weeks, she would only be here for two more weeks and I had to take on the challenge of a virgin. I was angry at myself for succumbing to the temptation of something beyond my skill level. I was standing still and so far nobody seemed to notice me. I wasn't sure if I should freeze or try to run for it. I simply stared at mom as she glared at the man.

"There is nobody you need to sleep with, so why are you here?" mom asked.

"I want to see your son," he replied loudly and angrily.

"I want to see your ass on the way out," mom said, and I was ready to promise my mother I would go to grad school.

"Tell her," the man said to Kelsie. The girl let her head drop and she shook her head and began to cry. "Your son raped my daughter," he yelled.

My entire life flashed before my eyes and I made a pact to never have sex again. Kelsie looked over at me and the man and my mom followed her gaze. Trooper came out of nowhere and took a step to block the man's direct access to my neck.

"Let's all sit down and talk," Trooper suggested. He held out his hand to usher everyone into the family room.

Dreamer looked me and said, "Budge, you have blood all over your shirt."

Mom looked at me and covered her own mouth for a moment and then said, "We'll get you a good lawyer and visit you in prison. Dreamer, run next door and get Emmett." I didn't know if she wanted Emmett to arrest me or protect me.

My brain was spinning, my heart was racing, and my dangler was shrinking as I tried to go over the events of the night to see if at any point I did something against her will. I could see it both ways and I wondered if a judge would see it my way.

I looked right at Kelsie and was ready to ask her if she thought I had raped her, but my mother spoke up instead. "Jake, you have a lot of nerve bringing some random girl in here and pretending to be her father. For all we know you got her off the web, because I know how easily that is done."

Jake looked a little sheepish and finally said, "Bella, this is my daughter with Lauren. We didn't marry, but Kelsie does come visit me."

Mom got up and held her hand over the bottom half of Kelsie's face and looked only at her eyes. "Oh yeah, you do look like Lauren."

"Your son has been screwing everything that walks on the reservation and I worked damn hard to keep my daughter out of his hands, but tonight he took advantage of her."

Mom tightened her jaw and looked over at me and said, "Budge, shame on you." Then she looked back at Jake and said, "Payback is a bitch, and so is Stanley."

"I didn't rape her," I finally said loudly to defend myself. I just hoped the victim agreed with me. I looked at her with pleading eyes and said, "Kelsie, did I rape you?"

Her head dropped and she didn't say anything. She just sat there as her huge father grew angrier. The door opened and Emmett walked in with Dreamer. He was dressed in workout clothes but easily matched the size of Jake.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Jake suddenly began to backpedal and said, "There is no need to involve the police."

"See," I yelled and pointed adamantly. "There was no crime."

"Her shorts are covered in blood and so is your shirt," Jake said through clenched teeth.

"She started her period, and I let her use my shirt," I lied, and Kelsie looked up at me with an expression of surprise that she didn't think of that excuse.

"You didn't have sex with her?" Jake asked me outright.

"No, I had sex with Natalie Newton, you can call and ask her," I said, making my mother pick up a pillow and hit me several times with it.

Kelsie gave me a look of pure hatred like we were engaged or something just because I accidently popped her cherry. I was done with virgins; they were not worth the possible jail time.

Trooper looked over to see Dreamer watching the discussion and stood to escort her from the room. Mom was only focused on Jake and said with as much coercion as she could muster. "Emmett, shoot Jake, PLEASE!"

Jake chuckled and said, "You just never got over me did you, Bella?"

Mom turned to Emmett and held her hands as if praying and said, "Let me borrow your gun, I'll shoot him."

Emmett held up his hands to show he didn't have a gun available at the moment and I wondered if he really would have let my mom borrow it. They had a freaky relationship. She worshiped him as if he saved her life or something. Jake stood and motioned for Kelsie to follow him. He looked at me and said, "And I will check with Natalie, since I see her mother once in a while."

That did it; mom was in full blow hysterics now. "You screwed Jess at the beach at your daughter's age and continue to stick your sick stick in her now. Don't act all moral in front of my amoral son."

"Mom?" I gasped.

"Just a minute Budge, I'm fighting with a Geronihomo, mommy will talk to you in a minute."

I wasn't going to stick around to see the results. I didn't worry about this being mom's last stand, since she had Emmett there to interfere if it got too bloody. I rushed upstairs and took a shower after throwing my shirt in the trash. I didn't want any evidence of the almost rape.

I was lying on my bed, trying to get the feeling of certain prosecution out of my head when someone knocked on the door. I thought it was Trooper and yelled for him to come in. It shocked me when Emmett entered my room. We had lived next to him my entire life and I couldn't remember one time he actually came to my room.

I sat up quickly, and hoped he wasn't here to put me in cuffs. He sat on my chair and said, "Budge, have you considered the military?"

"Considered them for what?" I asked, having no idea where he was going with this.

"As a career. You would learn discipline and pride, it would turn you into a man," he said, as if I hadn't been screwing my way into manhood for several months now.

My only concern now was the fact Emmett held so much influence over my mother. If he suggested military school she would be all for it. I did the only thing I could to convince him to give up on the idea. I dropped my head and tried to appear distraught. "I can't," I whispered, "I'm gay."

His eyes widened and he actually moved back a bit before saying, "But you are with all these girls?"

I nodded, "Yeah, they're my best friends. They keep my secret. I haven't come out to my parents yet, so don't say anything."

Poor Mr. McCarty looked like the stress of the secret would be too much to bear. He patted my back in sympathy and rushed from my room. I chuckled to myself and got up to shut off the light and go to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. I headed downstairs and found dad was up. It was unusual to have him up in the morning since he worked so late at night. I assumed he had some plans with mom.

I sat down and reached for a plate as dad stared at me accusingly. "What?" I asked him.

"Things are going to change around here, Budge. Until school starts you will be with either your mother or Trooper during the day, and working in the club at night with me."

I stared at him in shock. I didn't know if it was the news of possibly being a rapist or possibly being gay that had him so pissed, but my life was being boxed in. I liked my job with the forest service and it gave me a freedom I never experience before. I couldn't just walk away from it.

"Dad, I don't understand. I've worked hard all summer and…"

"And you've managed to find every available single girl within a fifty mile radius. There is more to life than just sex," he said stupidly to a sixteen year old boy.

"But I've worked hard too," I complained, because I really wanted to keep my fifty mile radius.

"If you begin to act responsibly when it comes to girls I'll consider letting you return next summer," he bargained, and he used his voice that told me it was no use arguing.

So my life became very stagnant for a solid year. I went to school with Trooper, ate lunch with him, and came home with him. Dad would take me to the club and I would do homework in his office and work in the kitchen until mom would pick me up at ten.

Dad thought he changed my life, but little did he know I was having much more sex than I ever had on the mountain. Whenever dad would go onstage to sing girls would come into his office for a quick romp on his couch. When I was sent to the office for a shoe I would hook up with girls in the restroom. And when the coach made me run laps as the guys went outside I had the entire locker room as my personal playground.

By the time Trooper graduated I was pretty happy with Dad's whole 'save Budge's soul' plan. I was sad to see Natalie graduate because she was always available at a moment's notice, now she was going to take some planning.

I felt I owed her a graduation gift, for all the instruction she had given more for the past year and a half. When I mentioned it to her and asked for a few suggestions I was stunned when she excitedly told me she wanted me to take her on a date. Turns out the entire time I had been doing her I never once took her on a date. I always assumed dates were just a way to work up to sex; I didn't see the point of taking Natalie on a date.

I decided to ask Trooper about what actually went on during a date, since I hadn't experienced it. "Casey likes to go to mushy movies," he said, and I groaned before falling onto my bed in exasperation. "You can always do dinner or maybe a concert," he suggested.

I had a flash of brilliance and said, "Hey, I could take her on dad's boat."

He shook his head and gave me a knowing look. "No, that is just sex, you have to take her out publicly and spend money on her."

I didn't like the sound of that. I liked doubling my money, not spending it. I looked up a fancy restaurant and made reservations. Then I planned to take her on a carriage ride around the marina before going back to her place to make the night worth it. Natalie was so excited, but I was dreading making conversation with her that long.

I sat with trepidation during the graduation ceremony. Emma came to see Trooper, who took mainly college level classes all year just to catch up to her. I worried about how Casey would take Emma's presence. She was a totally different girl since dating my brother. Her piercings were gone and her grades were up. She smiled a lot more and was now allowed to check out books. I was still banned.

When they called out Trooper's name mom jumped up and lit a Roman candle firework. The exploding shells shot into the air and landed on the curtains hanging on the stage of the auditorium. The entire school board screamed and ran from their seats on the dais. The graduating class erupted into cheers as the officials grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the flames.

I was laughing hysterically and looked over to see a girl looking at me. She was cute and had an athletic look to her. Her legs were long and her lean body didn't have much shape to it. I nodded at her and she smiled wider. Dreamer was sitting on the edge of the aisle so I made her switch me places.

I leaned over to speak to the girl and asked if she went to school here. She told me she was visiting for her cousin's graduation. I wanted to hook up with her and asked how long she was staying. She told me she was leaving in the morning. My mood darkened. I was stuck taking Natalie on a useless date and this angel was only available for a certain number of hours.

I glanced around the room and saw Lance Turner. He was less caveman now that other boys were getting facial hair. I pulled out my phone and asked if he wanted a date with Natalie tonight. He responded that he would love it, and he had never 'dated' her before. I gave him all the specifics and then added he would have to pay me for the opportunity. It turns out Lance is pretty generous with his purchased opportunities.


	15. Chapter 15

15

Natalie wouldn't speak to me through the entire summer, but dad did let me back with the Rangers to work. I felt a bit worried about the upcoming school year. Trooper would be gone and I was on my own. I would be responsible for driving Dreamer and Patrick to and from school. I was sure I would end up losing one of them.

Patrick was now a sophomore and turning into a pretty cool kid. He never teased Dreamer or Jasmine, and that really bothered me. Jasmine was almost an entire year older than me, but we were in the same grade due to when our birthdays fell. I never thought of her as my age, since she was always so judgmental and prissy.

I pulled into the parking lot and stared at the large building in front of me. Dreamer got out and walked to her own school, and I have to admit my sister was turning into a hottie. Patrick looked at me and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No," I sighed. "Everything is so….predictable. I have nothing to look forward to this year."

"You graduate," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but there has to be more, something to discover…."

"Like a disease or a planet?" he asked ignorantly.

I laughed and finally got out of the truck. I saw the same girls I had been hooking up with and the same innocents showing up for their first year of high school. I walked to my locker and talked with Kellan before class. He was excited for our senior year and his enthusiasm was bothering me.

I finally walked off to my first class. Maybe I could shock the teacher by showing up early for once. I entered the empty classroom and set my backpack on the back of my chair. The door opened and two teachers walked in, one was elderly and her stomach tumbling over her pants. The other was gorgeous and had the perfect build.

"Hello, Budge," the older teacher said with just a hint of regret to see me in her class.

The younger woman looked at me and said, "Excuse me, what was your name again?"

"Budge, but most girls call me, Oh God," I said confidently. She laughed at me, finding my high school attempt at seduction as comical. "Who are you?" I asked.

"Miss Baker," she said with a smile. "I'm the student teacher for this semester."

"And who are you after three?" I asked, not wanting my fantasy to include calling her Miss Baker.

She hesitated like she didn't think it was appropriate to tell a student her first name. I gave her a sexy smile and she finally said, "Paige, but don't call me that."

I found my discovery to make this school year interesting. I had never been with a teacher before, although she wasn't technically a teacher just yet. Mrs. Smith felt the need to fill in her new protégé as to the difficulties of working with a student like me. "Budge is a student who takes a lot of patience, aren't you dear?"

Well, I wasn't going to cop to it. I rolled my eyes and sat down in my seat. "You'll be surprised to see how well I do on my own, with Trooper gone," I promised her.

She looked at me and her face pulled into a frown, "Oh dear, I forgot Trooper won't be helping this year."

"Helping with what?" I asked.

She thought for a moment and then asked, "Do you know if your mother plans on coming to the school much?"

"I don't know… do you need her?" I asked, wondering why she was asking.

"Oh no, everything is fine. Tell her not to worry about a thing and we'll call her if we need anything."

I nodded but I planned on telling my mother exactly what the old bat said. Other students began filling up the room and luckily I had Casey in my class. She came over to sit next to me, causing several other girls to get angry. I pointed to the chairs in front of me and behind me if they wanted to sit in my close proximity. I also noticed Paige watching the commotion.

Mrs. Smith introduced our new teacher and gave her a moment to tell us about herself. I listened as she mentioned being from Seattle and wanting to teach since she was a small child. I finally raised my hand and asked, "Are you married?"

"No, I'm only twenty-two," she said with a chuckle.

"Are you single?" I pressed, and the other students laughed.

Someone yelled out, "Like you would care."

They were right, I didn't care, I was only curious. Paige didn't answer and sat down to let Mrs. Smith get the class started. When she mentioned a quiz just to see what we had forgotten over the summer the class groaned loudly. Paige began passing out the papers and when she got to me I purposefully ran my fingers across hers when I took it.

"I've got your number," she said as a warning.

"Good, call me," I teased, and she shook her head and continued on with her task.

I finished my quiz first, because I didn't actually read the questions. Trooper showed me how most true, false questions had a pattern to them. I finished my pattern and raised my hand. "I'm done, can I give Miss Baker a tour of the school."

"Bring me your paper," Mrs. Smith demanded, terrified she would have to call my mother on the very first day. She checked it over and then glared up at me. "Fine, but make it quick."

I chuckled, because I lost my fear of performing too quickly a long time ago. I walked over to open the door for Paige and Perry looked at me. "Show her the prop closet," she said hatefully.

I gave her a smirk and said, "That is so sophomore year."

We walked into the hallway and Paige asked, "What was that about?"

"She's in the drama club and works on the props," I falsely explained. Paige nodded as if it made total sense. I had a route all planned out and a few secret places to show her, but she had her own agenda.

"Can you show me the library and the teacher's break room?"

"Okay," I offered, "And would you rather I carry or drag?"

She stopped walking and said, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, when you die of boredom, should I carry you back or just drag you?" I asked, and kept a serious face.

She laughed and actually reached out to touch my arm as if she found me adorable. I took a step toward her and she shook her head and pulled my shirt and said, "Look at your shirt; it is buttoned up all wrong." She began fixing my shirt as I stood there with a big smile on my face.

When she had it all fixed she looked into my eyes and said, "Stop flirting with me."

I held my hands up and said, "You touched me, I didn't do a thing."

She began walking again and I purposely walked behind her to get a better look at her butt. When we got to the end of the hallway I told her to turn left. I reached the library door and then stood in front of it. "Okay, this is the library. You will have no need to go in there unless you happen to go to the very back row to make out. I don't recommend it; you can't get too noisy in a library."

"I'm still a student and I have papers that are due," she explained, "So I do have need of a library."

"Okay," I said, "But if you happen to find a size twelve Nike shoe, it's mine."

She gave me an odd look and I headed toward the teachers break room. It wasn't somewhere I could picture her hanging out. It was mainly used by teachers who were barely hanging on until retirement. I opened the door and let her look inside. I saw my science teacher and he didn't look happy to see me. I think he was hoping I ended up in the military school Emmett wanted me to consider.

We headed back toward the classroom and I asked her if she needed someone to introduce her to the nightlife in Port Angeles. She laughed until I told her my dad owned The Driftwood. She was suddenly interested in my connections.

"He lets you hang out in his club?" she asked like I was lying.

"Sure, why not?"

"You're not twenty-one," she pointed out.

"Age is just a number. Life is all about experiences, and I am very experienced."

She laughed and shook her head as she mused, "I could have done my student teaching at an all-girls school, but no I picked this one."

I was tempted to ask her exactly where this all-girls school was located. It sounded like a place I would love to be enrolled. We returned to the classroom and everyone turned to look at us, shocked that I actually brought her back. I wasn't stupid enough to make a move on school grounds; I mean she was studying to be a professional after all.

When the first day ended I was relieved to know it didn't totally suck. I walked with Patrick to the car and he said, "Did your mom tell you about Jasmine's eighteenth birthday party?"

"No, I'm sure she doesn't want to think about it. What does prissy pussy have planned?"

"Jasper is renting a yacht and throwing a huge party."

"A boatload of people like Jasmine? No thank you," I said.

"She's not that bad," Patrick said with a laugh. I'm sure he was swayed by her looks but Jasmine was the type of girl who wouldn't let you touch her hair if you kissed her. I didn't want to kiss anyone who had rules.

We met Dreamer at my truck and we all got inside. I saw Paige walking to her car and I pointed to her. "Look at her, she's my discovery this year," I announced.

"She's hot," Patrick said.

"You're both pigs," Dreamer stated.

We headed home, being forced to roll down the windows due to Patrick's smelly gas. Dreamer jumped out and rushed up to meet dad on the porch. He hugged her tightly and she buried her face in his chest. I watched her and had a really strange thought. I wondered if I would ever have a daughter to worship me. I shook my head to clear it out. I didn't want a kid, I didn't even want a wife, and especially not a wife who was all stretched out from having a kid.

"How was the first day of senior year?" dad asked.

"Great, I may just prove I'm as bright as Trooper," I teased, but dad took the comment seriously and tried to bolster my confidence.

"You have just as much aptitude as Trooper, you just have different interests," he said.

"I know, dad. I'm interested in the female population and Trooper is interested in one female."

"I see you came home with both shoes and your backpack," he said, and I wasn't sure if he was congratulating me or simply stating a fact. I didn't want him to get used to it, because I would surely lose one or the other soon.

"It was a boring day," I said, and he nodded.

Now he got to the whole point of the conversation. He asked Dreamer to go inside and she sighed loudly and turned to glare at me. "Why does your disgusting sex life have to interfere with our family?"

"Why don't you go change your own diaper for once," I said back to her. I was a little disappointed in myself for not coming up with something better; something to really piss her off, but dad was standing there forcing me to keep it clean.

She went into the house and slammed the door. Dad shut his eyes for a moment to calm down, which was rare because dad was usually always calm. He opened them again and said, "Budge, I want you to focus on school this year and not girls. Trooper isn't there to keep you on task so it is going to take effort on your part."

"I showed up early for first hour," I said proudly, but I didn't mention the reason why it would become a habit this semester.

He took a deep breath and said, "I don't want you leaving school for Natalie."

There it was, he was worried that since my main body of enjoyment was no longer accessible at school I would be tempted to play hooky all the time. I wasn't sure if I should tell him I had a bigger goal this year and it would take all my focus, or if I should just give him my promise and tell Natalie she was strictly an after three activity.

I stood there for a moment and then a smile broke out on my face. "I've got a really cute student teacher this semester."

"Oh Lord," he mumbled, and walked back into the house without another word.


	16. Chapter 16

16

The very next day I rushed to first hour and found Paige alone in the classroom. When I walked in the door she looked up and smiled widely at me. It was a good sign and I put my backpack on my chair and then walked up to where she was sitting.

"I saw your father last night," she said, causing me to almost choke on my own spit. "I went to The Driftwood. He's very talented."

"Yeah, he's a great guy," I admitted truthfully. "Did you introduce yourself?" I was afraid my dad would warn her that I had my sights set on her and she should run as fast as possible. I also worried about her becoming too friendly with the family. I couldn't have my mom sharing baby stories of how I played with my dangler as a toddler.

"No, do you sing?" she asked, and for the first time in my life I regretted not following in my father's footsteps. Mom always talked about how hot dad was when he sang, and how it brought in the college crowd, but it weirded me out to think of her creaming over my old man.

"No, I have other talents," I said as I wiggled my eyebrows. "Are you going back there tonight?"

She looked at me hesitantly and said, "Why?"

"I would introduce you, show you around the place and dance with you," I offered. I had no intention of introducing her to my dad, but I would introduce her to the supply closet.

"You're my student," she said emphatically, but I had a feeling it would be me doing most of the teaching.

I leaned in closely and whispered, "Then teach me."

She put her hand on my chest to push me back and I loved how her hand ran down the front of my body. She smiled to herself and said, "Okay, meet me at a club I going to tonight with my roommate."

"You have a roommate?" I asked, hoping she was just as cute.

"I'm still a student, remember?" she groaned.

"Okay, what club?"

"It's a place in the historic district of the old downtown. It's called Moby's." She was watching me closely for a reaction, as if I wouldn't be able to get into another club.

I smiled and said, "Around ten?"

"I'll be there," she grinned, and I knew tonight would be a night to remember.

I had one problem; I didn't have a fake ID. I knew someone with contacts, although I hated asking her. Casey had changed so much and I didn't want to remind her who she used to be, but I also had a teacher to school. I looked for her during lunch and asked if we could eat together. She smiled and offered me a seat.

"Casey, do you know anyone who could get me a fake ID?"

She sat her drink down angrily and said, "I promised Trooper I wouldn't help you do anything illegal or immoral."

Damn that Trooper. He was not even here and still managed to keep me in line.

"I'm not asking for your help to do anything illegal. I'm writing a paper for class and I want some information to use. I only want to know if you had to get a fake ID who would you ask?"

She thought for a moment and then gave me a name. I pulled out my phone and sent the guy a text, and then I talked to Casey about how much she missed Trooper. They were technically not together anymore, but she was still missing him.

When school ended I had some documentation waiting for me. I was tempted to make a deal with the guy for something he wanted, but I decided the less I had to do with him the better. I paid for my ID and went to my truck where Dreamer and Patrick were waiting.

"You're late," she glared at me.

"You'll live," I said, and unlocked the doors as Patrick laughed.

We began driving home when Dreamer asked Patrick, "Did you hear the guys have to wear a tux to Jasmine's party?"

"Really?" he exclaimed.

"I'm not wearing a tux," I said adamantly, "I'm not dressing up just to make Jasmine feel like she is the most important person in the world, she already feels that way."

"Mom said it is just a way for Jasper to wear his uniform…whatever that means," Dreamer said. "I have to wear a black cocktail dress and I think it is stupid. We will be sailing around the sound, why do I need a dress for that?"

We all grew quiet, most likely thinking about the party coming up next month and how much prep was going to be required just because Jasmine was turning eighteen. Yeah, I was a bit jealous. We got home and Dreamer ran to the porch.

I pulled out the fake ID and asked Patrick if he thought it looked real. He looked really closely and then said, "It could pass for you if you don't look too closely at it."

I nodded and had to hope I wasn't going to be spending the evening in the Port Angeles city jail. I went into the house and found my mom. I was going to put an end to all talk of a tux right from the start. She was cleaning windows, only the ones facing the McCarty's house. The thought of Emmett looking at dirt repulsed her.

"Dreamer said the guys have to wear a tux to Jasmine's party," I whined.

She stopped working and turned to look at me. "A tux won't hide an asshole," she informed me. I wasn't sure of her meaning but I figured it had something to do with Jasper.

"I'm not wearing a tux," I announced, and shook my head for added affect.

Mom's eyes wandered off and she mumbled, "Daddy looks so good in a tux."

I snapped my fingers to get her attention the way I had seen Trooper do over the years. She looked back at me and I said, "So I don't have to wear one, right?"

"No, if Jasper says anything tell him to come talk to me," she said, and her eyes narrowed in anger.

"Okay," I said with relief. "Do you know if this is just for friends or will her extended family be there too?"

Mom dropped her cleaning rag harshly on the ground and yelled loudly, "Oh hell no, I'm going to the mall, I need a new bra."

As I worked on schoolwork I could hear her getting into the chocolate chips again. I hated that dealing with the Whitlocks stressed her out so badly, and I had no idea why dad would insist on a business partner mom loathed so much. At least she had Emmett.

It worked out perfectly for me. After dinner she took Dreamer and they spent the evening at the mall. I took a shower and tried to make my hair look like the guy in the picture. It felt weird to see my forehead exposed. It was usually covered with thick locks of hair. I leaned in to the mirror as I rubbed my chin, still waiting for that allusive beard to appear.

I got dressed and went into my dad's room for some cologne. I picked one mom called, "Panting Panties." I put it on and stood back to look at myself. I was filling out more, not so skinny and my chin was looking more like Trooper's and dads. I still resembled mom more, but I had a bit of Cullen in me.

I drove to the old part of town and looked around for the club she had mentioned. I saw the picture of a large whale and a sign that read….Moby Dick. I parked and walked up confidently to the bouncer at the door. I held out my ID and he hardly even glanced at it.

"Are you new around here?" he asked.

I never heard the guy at dad's place ask if the patrons were new, but I simply nodded and went inside. I entered the dark club where music was loud and pulsating. It wasn't a soothing atmosphere like dad's place; it was electric and felt desperate.

I glanced around for Paige, looking for any longhaired blonde with tan skin. I was halfway inside the room when I suddenly noticed all the patrons were male. They were dancing together, talking intimately in every corner, and kissing passionately. My dick screamed and I quickly turned around to run.

A man caught me around the waist and pulled me closer to dance. I tried to remain calm since I really liked mom's friend Eric, but when the dude nibbled my neck I bolted from the place.

I came crashing out of the door and ran right into a couple walking down the sidewalk. A large man caught me before I fell and said, "Budge?"

I looked up to see Emmett and Rose staring at me. Her eyes moved to the club and then back at me. "Did you just come out of that club?" she asked.

"No," I said quickly. "I can't get into clubs, I'm not old enough, and I'm not gay, why would I be in there?"

Emmett gave me a sympathetic look and I tried to decide if military school would be worth it. Rose finally said, "We just had dinner and we're on our way home, do you need a ride?"

"No, I'm waiting for someone," I announced, and Emmett gave me the sad look again. They walked off and I leaned over to place my hands on my knees to calm down. A girl approached me and gave me a soft smile.

"Hi, I'm Amber; um….I heard you say you aren't gay?"

I glanced back at the club and wondered why she was entering the place. I really hoped she was the roommate of Paige. "No, I was just meeting someone here, but I think she was confused at what kind of club it is."

She laughed and it calmed me right down. She was cute, a bit understated, but cute. "I come here with my gay friends," she explained. "I would like to invite you to join us so I can actually dance with a straight guy for once."

This poor woman had been tagging along with her bitches and never getting what she desired. I held out my arm and she took it happily. "What's your name?" she asked.

The bouncer was within earshot so I said, "Carlos, but you can call me Budge."

We went inside and joined some guys at a table. She quickly introduced me but before they could ask any questions I pulled her to the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around my neck and then inhaled deeply. "You smell good," she purred.

I wanted to make sure I didn't dance with her like a gay guy would, so I pulled her hips closely to my body and rubbed against her. Her arms tightened and she pulled her face back to look at me. "You're a great dancer, Carlos."

"This is nothing," I replied, and let her feel how excited I was becoming.

At that moment a guy tapped on her shoulder and said, "May I cut in?"

I was standing there with a boner and some dude wanting to press against it. I held onto her tightly and said, "Sorry, it's just me and Amber tonight."

The man nodded sadly and she turned to laugh with me. I couldn't tell her I had to hurry and do the deed so I could make it home for curfew, so I simply said, "Let's get out of here so we can really dance."

She took me to her loft only two blocks away and when she bent over in front of me I asked her what she was doing; obviously only gay guys had been doing her. I wanted to show her what a straight guy could do. As I stood against the edge of the mattress with her legs held high in the air I couldn't help but smile. A simple move which seemed so difficult long ago had her screaming loudly with pleasure. I was right; it was a night to remember.


	17. Chapter 17

17

I wasn't sure if I should be pissed at Paige or thank her for a wonderful evening. I decided to see if she brought it up, telling me it had indeed been a practical joke. I got to class early and found Mrs. Smith in the room along with Paige. I had to find some way to get rid of her so I made up a story.

"A kid told me to tell you someone was looking for you in the teacher's lounge, Mrs. Smith."

"That is rather vague," she said to me with irritation.

"I know, just forget it and pretend you never got the message," I suggested, and it sent her right from the room. No faculty member would be caught dead listening to Budge Cullen.

I sat in my seat and Paige looked over at me. I smiled as if everything was perfect. She finally said, "I had extra homework and couldn't make it last night."

"Yeah, I was busy myself," I said with a grin, "Maybe another time."

"So you didn't go?" she asked, and I notice a look of guilt spread over her.

"Oh I went, but I met a girl and left pretty quickly."

She stared to see if I was joking so I stared right back at her. She finally laughed and shook her head in disbelief, needing more information before she would accept my word for it.

"I don't like the dark atmosphere, or the electric music, but the dance floor was decent," I added.

"You met a girl?" she pushed.

"Amber," I said with a nod.

She bit her lip for a moment as if she was going to laugh and then said, "Are you sure she was a girl?"

"Absolutely," I grinned. "The boobs were real and the entrance tight."

Her mouth fell open in disgust but I didn't care. She tried to play me and I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. I had her just where I wanted and knew she was going to be worth it when I finally won her over. "Are you jealous?" I asked.

"Of what?" she said angrily. "You're a kid."

"I told you age is just a number, and I can assure you I am no kid. Show up at my dad's place and I'll give you my shoes."

She looked totally confused and said, "Why would I want your shoes?"

I shrugged and Mrs. White returned to the room. "Thank you, Budge. It was information I needed."

I laughed, having no idea anyone needed to see her but also because Paige couldn't seem to look away from me. I caught her several times during class looking at me, most likely trying to figure out what she could do with my shoes. When the bell rang I walked out the door without looking at her. She came running after me, holding my backpack and I smiled at how easy she was to control.

"Thanks, I can't believe I left it," I said, and a girl walking past began to laugh.

"I have papers to grade so I won't be going out until Saturday," she informed me.

"I work Saturday night, so show up Friday or I guess it will have to be another time," I said, already knowing she would refuse. She wanted to believe she was still in control, but the tide had already turned.

She backed away from me without saying anything so I headed to my next class. I got called out of my fourth hour class to come to the office. I hadn't done anything wrong; it was only the second day of school. I walked into the reception area to see my mother standing there.

She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me outside. "Look at this," she demanded and I glanced at a fancy invitation in her hand. "Assper is such an idiot. Who does he think he is, they lost and he just doesn't get it."

I saw the invitation was for Jasmine's party and someone hand wrote that a dress would be there for my mother and a tux for me. "Let's not go," I suggested.

"We have to go, I love Alice and Jasmine, and we can't let him win. He'll take over the whole state if we don't show him we are willing to fight. And don't think for a moment I don't know why they are having the party on a boat in the water. Those southern girls just have to have water, probably because they are all dried up from the heat in the South."

"Just because they have it there doesn't mean I have to put it on," I said, going off on my own tangent. "Unless Jasmine plans on stripping me down herself they can't force me to dress in a tux."

"He's felt me up, you know," she continued, "right on the airplane in front of all the passengers."

"I'm wearing a swimsuit and flip flops," I declared.

She took the invitation from my hand and mumbled, "I'm not wearing a corset at my age." Then she walked off and I returned to class. I wondered how many times she came to see Trooper during the school year. I liked that she would bring her stresses to me now. I didn't understand them, but she appeared to just need someone to vent to.

After the first week I stopped showing up early for first hour and Paige's anxiety began to rise. She would stare at me without embarrassment now and always came to my desk to see if I needed help. She approached with her pencil in her mouth and looked over my paper. I held out my hand for the pencil and she quickly handed it to me. Instead of writing I put it between my own teeth and looked up at her.

She picked up my pencil and wrote softly on my paper, _Driftwood around ten_. Then she placed my pencil in her mouth and walked away. I worked on my excuse all day to give dad. I would tell him I was working on a business paper and wanted to shadow him. He would love to tell me all about the management of the club, and the only downside was I would have to listen.

When we got home I got out as quickly as Dreamer from the truck. She looked at me in surprise so I bolted to the porch. She screamed the entire way behind me and I stood on the steps with my arms and legs spread to block her path to dad. My sister wasn't as easily teased anymore and I learned that lesson when she pulled her hand into a tight fist and punched me right in the gut.

I gasped and doubled over in pain as she simply walked past me and gave dad a hug. He came over to see if I was okay and I knew it wouldn't do any good to complain. He would just tell me I caused it myself. I sat on the step and took a few deep breaths. I was afraid my abs would be too sore to impress Paige and if that happened I would certainly make Dreamer pay.

"Can I come to work with you tonight?" I asked him.

"Why?" he asked, and looked at me with suspicion.

"I have to write a paper about the economy and interview a business owner. I thought you could tell me about the operation of your club."

He looked at me as if waiting for my nose to grow and finally said, "Come around six and I'll make time for you."

"Thanks," I said, and let him help me up.

I went to my room as he kissed mom goodbye. I showered and got ready before working on my homework. I didn't bother eating dinner, since there would be food at the club. I entered through the back and met dad in his office. He motioned for me to sit and began explaining why he decided to purchase the club with Jasper. I had never heard the story before and found it interesting that mom encouraged him to live his dream. He could have followed Grandpa Cullen, but he wanted something of his own.

I smiled and said, "So I'm more like you after all."

He looked at me for a moment and then smiled before saying, "I'm proud of you, Budge, I really am."

I had the feeling he didn't hear that as a kid from his father and wanted to make sure I heard it from him. "I know," I said, to ease his mind. "I don't make it easy, do I?"

"I'm not used to living so easily in the moment. I wish I could be more like you."

I laughed loudly and said, "Dreamer would never allow it."

I was actually happy I came to talk with him about the club. It was interesting to hear the history and the changes he had made to keep it current. I was very impressed with my dad and learned a thing or two. I could increase my funds by trading for things that were hard to come by, not simply popular or needed.

It was nine-thirty when Paige walked through the door. She was alone and it made me think she was going to let me choose where to go for our wild sex, and I planned on making it wild. She ordered a drink and then moved to the area around the dance floor to listen to the music. I headed in the other direction and kept my eyes on her. She looked around casually, as if not wanting to appear anxious.

"Budge, do you want a soda?" a waitress asked me.

I shook my head, not wanting anything in my hands except a certain student teacher. I never tried to drink; I had other vices and addictions which didn't consist of illegal substances. I leaned against the wall and waited for Paige to find me.

She began moving to the beat of the music as her eyes cased the place. She looked up at the DJ booth and then her eyes moved along the wall to where I waited. I smiled and she blushed and dropped her head for a moment. When she looked back up I motioned with my head for her to come to me.

She took a big drink of her glass and then walked to the other side of the room. She had on a skirt and I couldn't wait to find out what she had on underneath it. "So, this is really your dad's club?" she asked nervously.

"This is it," I said, and held out my hand for hers. She set her hand on mine and pulled it away before finally letting it settle to stay. I wrapped my fingers around her hand and walked with her to the back offices.

I knocked on my dad's office and peaked in to find him at his desk. We would have to make the supply room do for the time being. I nodded toward Paige and said, "Dad, this is Paige, this is my father Edward Cullen."

Dad stood and invited us in but just as I began to decline she pushed her way into the office. "I heard you sing a few weeks ago. You are very talented," she said like a fangirl.

"Thank you," he said shyly and then asked, "Are you a friend of Budge's?"

I interrupted and said, "Yeah, we haven't known each other long. She's from Seattle." I was pulling her toward the door but she pulled against me and moved closer to dad's desk.

"You should really consider recording your music. I would buy a CD of yours," she laughed.

I stared and felt a bit nauseous. She was hitting on my dad right in front of me. She came to meet my father and I fell for the whole thing. Dad was perfect and said, "I'm afraid I only record CD's for my wife."

"That's too bad," she cooed. "Are you going to sing tonight, oh pretty please?"

_Pretty please?_ God, she sounded like she was Dreamer's age. I shouldn't be worried about sleeping with a teacher; I should be worried about sleeping with a teacher who was less mature than Dreamer.

"My wife's coming so I'll sing when she gets here," Dad explained, and I loved how he was being so polite as he shot her down. I didn't plan on being so nice.

"Come on, we'll finish the tour," I told her and walked out of the room ahead of her. I pointed down the hallway and told her what the rooms were and then went back to the club to get us some fries before sitting at a table.

I ate them as I glared at her. She was embarrassingly contrite and kept looking away from my gaze. She finally said, "Do you hang out here often?"

"Un huh," I said and kept eating. The DJ announced open mic hour and I knew mom had arrived. This was going to be fun.


	18. Chapter 18

18

The house lights grew low and the stage lights came on. I told Paige I would get her a drink and left the table. I watched her leave the booth and make her way to the front of the stage. The crowd began to cheer as dad walked onto the stage with his guitar.

I went to the edge of the stage and stood next to my mom. She put her arm around my waist and leaned her head on me. I pointed to Paige and said, "That woman there is my student teacher."

"Really? Did you get her a free drink?" mom asked.

"No, I kind of get the feeling she is hot for dad so I didn't want to encourage her."

Mom tensed and her arm dropped from around my waist. She watched as Paige put her elbows on the stage and looking longingly up at dad. As he began to sing mom moved slowly to the front of the stage and made her way next to Paige. She smiled and spoke into Paige's ear. The two women suddenly hugged and mom pulled the bottom of Paige's short skirt up from the back and tucked it into the waist as she pretended to pat her as she spoke.

They turned back to watch dad as people began to point and laugh at what Paige had on display. As his song began to wind down mom pulled her to the steps and brought her onto the stage. During the applause she stood her right in front of my father and then said into the microphone. "This is Edward's number one fan. Go ahead and give him a hug sweetheart," Mom offered.

Paige turned to hug my dad and the crowd roared with laughter. I finally found out what she had on under the skirt, nothing. I was a bit sad the night was going to be wasted. Paige looked at everyone laughing and then felt behind her to find the skirt tucked up.

"Wow, you really are a fan, aren't you," mom said. "But we serve food here so we can't have bare asses stinking up the place."

Paige ran from the stage and out the back door. I wondered if she would come to school again, because I knew she would never step foot in the Driftwood. Dad announced the next singer and then pulled mom from the stage.

"What was that about?" he asked, "She was a friend of Budge's."

"No, she was his student teacher," mom clarified, and dad turned to look at me accusingly.

"You brought her here?" he asked in shock.

"No, she came here and I happened to be here," I said, praying it would fool him.

"I think she wanted to cum here, and luckily I showed up to keep her from cumming," mom rambled, "Playing all virginal as she teaches my baby and then turning up here in her sex skirt for my man. I bet she sleeps with the other teachers. She's probably not even going to college."

Dad looked at her in frustration and then turned back to me. "I want that report waiting on the counter when I get home. Now go," he yelled.

I was now stuck writing a report I didn't even need. I was up past midnight and not very happy when I arrived at school the next day. Paige called in sick, just like I figured she would. I learned an important lesson that night and it had nothing to do with the paper I wrote. I learned age truly was a number and girls didn't necessarily see my father as too old. I had new criteria when picking a girl from that point on…she could not see my father sing.

Paige eventually came back, but she totally ignored me and I moved on to a new challenge. I was now focused on ruining Jasmine's big fat southern birthday. Dreamer found a dress she loved and modeled it for anyone willing to look at her.

Dad got tears in his eyes the first time he saw her. The sleeves were low on her shoulders and it formed tightly to her body. She looked like she was a young woman and dad wiped his eyes before standing and giving her a hug. I knew Dreamer would look hot for the big party, but my curiosity was about mom's dress, not Dreamers.

Dad dutifully got his tux dry-cleaned and we planned on spending the day with Grandpa and Grandma Cullen before the big party. I was anxious to see Trooper and find out what he thought about college. If he found it hard or boring I knew it would be something I couldn't handle.

We took the ferry to Bainbridge Island and drove up grandpa's driveway. Mom got out of the car and looked up at their huge square house before she shook her entire body from head to toe. I let Dreamer enter the home first, since Grandpa always seemed a bit leery of me.

Grandma met us and offered me and Dreamer a sucker…like we were five. I wanted to make a point so I said, "Do you have a cigar?"

"Your mother lets you smoke?" she asked with surprise.

I laughed and said, "I don't smoke it, I just chew on it."

She swallowed nervously and then said, "In your grandfather's study."

I handed Dreamer my sucker and rushed off to the library. I sat in front of their television chewing on the cigar for close to an hour before anyone noticed. Dad walked over to take it from me and I pulled it away from his hand. "Grandma gave it to me. I can't be rude. I'm just chewing on it."

He nodded and walked away. I smiled and loved how dad seemed to shrink in front of his own parents. Trooper arrived and everyone put out the red carpet. I couldn't complain too much, he was a pretty awesome brother.

He made his way to the movie room and smiled when he saw me. He sat in a chair and shook his head as I placed the cigar in my mouth and wiggled my eyebrows. "Grandma made me," I announced.

"How's school?" he asked.

"I made the dean's list," I teased.

"For doing what?" he countered.

I laughed and he laughed with me. I finally asked the one thing I wanted to know most. "Are you seeing anyone?"

He shook his head and said, "No, Emma has a boyfriend and Casey is too far away."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked him.

He refused to answer and said, "You aren't planning any trouble for Jasmine's party are you?"

"Only to push her off the yacht and drown her in the sound."

"This is going to be sensitive enough having mom and Jasper stuck on a boat together, don't add to it, Budge."

"Doesn't Jasmine just irritate the hell out of you?" I asked him. "I mean, wouldn't you like to punch her in that upturned nose of hers?"

"I was never mean to her like you were, she's nice to me," he said, to let me know I was alone in my hatred of Jasmine.

I changed the subject and spent the precious time I had with my big brother talking about more relevant matters. We ate lunch on the deck and spent most of the afternoon playing volleyball with some other kids on the island. When it was finally time to dress mom and I waited, since our stuff was on the boat already.

Trooper and dad looked like twins, making mom cry. Dreamer had her hair pulled up onto her head and looked stunning. Grandma had on a long black coat over her gown so I couldn't see it, but grandpa had on a classic tux.

We drove to the pier and boarded the yacht. Mom had a suit bag with her and a small case of makeup. I went to the room Alice told me and found a tux lying on a bed. I tossed the tux to the floor and lay on the bed to see if it was comfortable and if it made any noise when I bounced on it. I found it suitable so I stripped down and put on just the tux pants. I left on my white t-shirt and put the dress shirt over it, leaving it open. I didn't bother with shoes or socks.

I went to the top of the boat to stay out of view until we were clear of the dock. The boat was filling up quickly and drinks and hor d'oeuvres were being served. I saw Emma come aboard with some guy and I shook my head angrily. She didn't need to flaunt the guy in front of Trooper.

The boat finally left the shore and I came down to join the party. There were plenty of pretty girls and I wanted to take my time picking one out. The band began to play and Trooper valiantly asked Dreamer to dance. I watched them for a moment and when I heard everyone gasp I turned to see what they were looking at.

Mom was coming down the stairs in a bright orange antebellum gown. It was totally inappropriate, but she looked absolutely stunning. Dad walked to the bottom of the stairs and held his hand out as Alice yelled, "Damn it, Bella. That isn't the dress I bought you."

"Yours was too small," mom complained, but then looked at dad and shook her head telling him it wasn't true.

I moved behind some big guys to hide myself from Alice when she surveyed the room. The party continued on. I finally ran into Jasmine. Her eyes were red like she had been crying and she was in a horrible mood. Only Jasmine could find something wrong with such an expensive party.

I found Patrick and told him to ask her to dance. He walked over, dwarfing her with his large frame and took her hand to lead her to the dance floor. I noticed a girl looking at me so I walked up to her. She glanced at my bare feet and said, "Jasmine told me to stay away from you."

"She's been trying to get me to date her for years," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Don't listen to her."

"Do you want to dance?" the girl asked, and I like how forward she was. I followed her to the dance floor and pulled her against me tightly. Her dress was backless so I ran my fingers lightly over her flesh. Her hand moved into my hair and I smiled.

I glanced up just in time to see Trooper and Emma enter the dance floor. I raised my head and watched them for a moment. Trooper let his head drop to her shoulder and his eyes were closed. She held him lightly as if she would break him if she squeezed him tightly. I saw him kiss her shoulder a couple of times and it almost made me sick. She would never understand how much he loved her, I was certain of it.

"What's wrong," the girl in my arms asked me.

"I don't really feel like dancing, want to come to my cabin?" I wasn't going to waste my time if she was going to balk at my offer.

"You have a cabin?" she asked.

I took her hand and headed to the room where I found my tux. I locked the door and pulled off my shirt and pants before looking at the girl. She had her dress unzipped and I was so glad she was a forward thinking girl.

I got onto the bed and held my arms out for her pulling her on top of me. She sat up, not needing to be plied with kisses. "How adventurous are you?" she asked me.

"Are you sure you're a friend of Jasmine's," I pressed, because this girl didn't seem prissy at all.

"Don't tell," she said with a giggle. "But I want you to spank me."

"No way," I declared. "I'm not leaving any marks for you to prosecute with."

"Don't be a wuss," she said, and turned around presenting her ass right to me, so I hit it with my hand. She moaned loudly so I did it again. I was actually getting quite turned on so instead of hitting her again I put on a condom and pushed my erection right into her. There was no build up or making sure she was ready, I just went for it.

She yelled, "Yes," loudly into the air and I almost lost it. I had never been with a freaky girl before, only easy ones. Just as I was ready to impress her with my filthy words we heard a loud scream and then a splash. We were facing the round window so we both looked out to see two women in the water, one with a bright orange dress and the other with blonde curls and big eyes like Jasper's.

"Mom!" we both yelled at the exact same time.


	19. Chapter 19

19

I was never one who was big on details. I should have asked if the girl I picked up knew Jasmine from school, or was perhaps a neighbor, maybe they attended the same church and only knew each other in passing. I was still connected to her when it dawned on me she was related to Jasmine.

"What's your name?" I asked her, not hearing any accent when we first met.

"Shelby," she replied with an accent so thick it had to be from the south.

I pulled away and threw on my boxers as quickly as possible. She stood and stared at me angrily. "What is your problem?" she demanded.

"Sorry, but if I have sex with you my mother will cut off my dangler," I said, and grabbed my regular pants and shirt and ran. I dressed as I rushed to see what happened to make my mother end up in the cold water of the sound.

The crew was just pulling them onto the deck when I arrived. I saw Patrick and ran up to him. "What happened," I asked.

"I don't know. This lady walked up to your dad to say hello and when she tried to hug him your mom pushed her, but the lady grabbed onto your mom and they both went overboard."

"Oh God, is the party over now?" I asked.

"I don't know, Jasmine won't even talk to her father because he won't buy her the car she wants."

I glanced around for any sign of Jasmine, because I planned on pushing her off the boat too. She was given a top of the line party but it wasn't enough. I saw Shelby arrive and she looked just as pissed as her mother.

I wanted off this boat as quickly as possible and considered swimming when we got close to Bainbridge Island. Dad was holding mom in a blanket as she carried on about southern water whores. The entire Whitlock family was staring at her with big eyes until she threatened to poke them, then they looked away.

I rushed over to dad and told him how to get to the cabin I had been using. He pulled mom away and I moved behind some large pillars to stay out of Alice's view. The party continued on, but Jasmine only showed her face when she was forced to by her father. I asked Patrick to try and cheer her up, since his constant laughter usually worked.

Then I saw some young men surrounding Dreamer and I got irate. I didn't expect her to stay innocent her entire life but eighth grade was too young to be hit on by horny high school boys. I broke through the crowd of boys and took hold of her hand. "Dad needs you right away," I said, causing her to gasp and come right with me.

I was going to have him lecture her on the danger of boys, but when we got close to the cabin we could hear them moaning. Dreamer and I sat on the steps and waited for the wall pounding to get over before we knocked on the door. Dad answered in just his tux pants and mom was wearing his shirt. He did not look happy to be interrupted.

"Dad, I found Dreamer. Didn't you want to talk to her about high school boys and how to shoot them down when they are coming on to you?" I said, hoping he would catch the hint.

"Now's not a good time, Budge," he said to shock the hell out of me. Dreamer gave me a smirk and headed off to be hit on some more. This boat was insane. I was the one being responsible and dad was putting his dangler before his daughter's safety.

Since everything was off kilter I did something I had never done before in my life. I grabbed some champagne and sat on the top of the boat in the dark and got drunk. It was an odd feeling. My head was spinning when I saw someone come stand at the railing. I realized it was Jasmine and it made me laugh.

She looked over at me and I pointed at her. "You are so pissy…I mean prissy. You are a pissy prissy girl."

"You're drunk," she said angrily.

"Yes I am. This party sucks so badly I had to get drunk. I didn't want to do it, but you forced me with your consuming prissiness." She sat down next to me and our faces were only inches apart. I stared at her and said, "You're really pretty, but you're a pain in the ass."

"Shut up, Budge," she said, and then pounded on her thighs with her fists. "My father is so stubborn but I am going to win this fight."

"Well, you have to do something to show him you mean business. You need to do business in a totally business way," I babbled. "What would piss him off the most?"

"I don't know. I could max out my credit card," she suggested.

"Come on Jasmine, you can do better than that," I said, and closed my eyes as the boat rocked.

She thought for a moment and then stood, "I'm going to find Emma, do you need anything?"

I smiled and nodded my head. "Give me your panties."

"You're such a pig," she said, and I laughed as I continued sitting with my eyes closed. I felt something hit me in the face and opened my eyes to see black silk panties sitting in my lap. I shoved them in my pocket and took another swig from the bottle.

I have no memory of the boat docking again. I woke up when Trooper and Patrick carried me from the boat to the car. I was trying to speak but my words wouldn't form correctly and I wasn't making sense. The next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed with a headache that made me want to die.

"Ahhh," I moaned loudly. Just the vibration of the word sent pain through my body. How could people do this every weekend? It would seriously impact my sex life. I heard my door open and dad appeared next to my bed. "Kill me now," I begged.

"Here, take some aspirin and sip this water."

I sat up and then bolted for my bathroom as every ounce of fluid left my body. Dad started the shower and helped me get in. I slumped against the wall and stood there moaning as the water beat down on me.

He got the aspirin again and made me sip the water bottle as I showered. I kept waiting for him to lecture me about drinking underage, but he was only helping me at the moment. I finally got out of the shower and dried off. Dad gave me fresh clothing and I fell onto my bed in pain.

"Try to sleep it off and I'll check on you later," dad said. He shut my door softly and I realized how lucky I was to be his son.

The door opened again and this time mom came in. She rushed to my bed and ran her fingers through my hair. "Did Jasper make you drink?" she asked.

"No, but his niece tried to get freaky with me," I said, wanting to give mom something to celebrate. "I had to hide to get away from her."

She pulled me into her arms as she kissed my cheek. "You are the best drunk son a mother could wish for," she cried. "Do you want me to make you some eggs or some yogurt with blueberries, or…"

"Mom, stop mentioning food. I'm never eating again in my life," I groaned.

"If you need anything just holler," she said and stood to leave. "Oh Jasmine is here. Trooper and Emma are here for the day and they'll take her home tomorrow."

I raised just my head and held my hand out for the pants I had worn last night. Mom handed them to me and I felt in the pocket. I smiled and then dropped them on the ground. I would sleep all morning, but I would force myself up this afternoon if it killed me. I had a lot of fun planned in my head.

I was snoring loudly when Trooper came in to check on me. He sat on the edge of my bed and I opened only one eye to look at him. I rolled onto my back and stretched, feeling much better. "Thanks for hauling my drunk ass home," I said.

"It happens to us all," he said, and I raised my head to look at my perfect brother.

"We're going to First beach around four for a bon fire, do you want to go?"

"What time is it?" I asked him.

"Two- thirty," he said, and I realized I had slept most of the day away.

"Help me up," I begged, and he pulled me to my feet.

I went downstairs and ran into Dreamer. She laughed at me and then yelled too loudly, "Dad, Budge is up."

I poured myself a glass of milk and sat down just as dad came into the room. He patted my shoulder and then sat across from me. "I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say," he stated, and I nodded. "I don't condone underage drinking and I don't want to see it happen again."

"I have no plans to ever drink again for the rest of my life," I said, and he chuckled at my weakness. "What did I miss last night?" I asked.

"Oh, Jasper is trying to use tough love for once so Jasmine came home with the McCarty's."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I'll go talk to her."

"Don't make things worse," dad said, knowing me too well.

But I planned on making things much worse, maybe even worse enough to send her running home. I got the panties out of my pocket and headed over to the McCarty's. I knocked on the door and Emma answered. "Is Patrick here?" I asked.

She let me in and asked if I was going to the beach with them. I assured her I was going and she left to find Patrick. When he walked into the room I held out the panties for them. "I have a gift for you," I laughed.

"What's this?" he asked.

I leaned in closer and whispered, "They are Jasmine's. Feel free to torment her as much as you like."

His eyes lit up and he smiled widely. I laughed and headed back home. I trusted Patrick to totally humiliate her with the small black piece of silk. I have to admit I totally underestimated Jasmine.

We all went to the beach and as Trooper and Patrick worked on the bon fire I walked the beach looking for any La Push girls to hook up with. I found a girl named Feather who was a favorite of mine. I invited her to the bon fire and she quickly agreed.

Dreamer met up with a few of her friends and it suddenly felt like a middle school party. When it got dark I pulled Feather away from the group and walked over to the picnic tables. I sat on the top and pulled her between my legs. Her kisses were familiar and I quickly put my hands down the back of her pants. She pushed me onto my back and began to unbutton my jeans.

I let my head fall to the side and I could barely make out the image of two bodies walking to a table further down the beach. I pushed up onto my elbows and saw it was Jasmine and Patrick. Feather lowered her head and I pushed her away. "Wait a minute," I said, still watching the other couple.

She looked over and said, "Who's that?"

I watched Jasmine slip out of her jeans and then wrap her legs around Patrick. "Oh my God," I exclaimed and sat all the way up. I knew Patrick was a virgin and I couldn't believe it was going to be prissy Jasmine to do him first.

They were making out passionately when Jasmine suddenly said, "Budge, come take a picture."

"What?" I called out to her.

"Come here," she demanded.

I walked over to their table and she held out her phone. "Here, take a picture."

Patrick looked terrified and she returned to their previous activity as she pulled him onto her. I couldn't imagine someone taking pictures of my first time with Natalie; the pressure would have been too much. I quickly snapped a picture and sat her phone on the sand before rushing back to Feather.

I wasn't sure what she planned on doing with the picture, but I found out when she sent it to her father, Rose, and even my mother. My mom cried for two days and I didn't know why she kept accusing me of letting her down. But Jasper had the car Jasmine wanted waiting for her when she returned home.


	20. Chapter 20

I was planning on calling Natalie to see if she would show up for lunch when I was called to the office again. I knew it was mom and I knew it was something insignificant, but I was grateful for the interruption in what was turning into a pretty boring semester.

I walked to the office and opened to door to motion for mom to come out. She had on a full length coat buttoned from her throat to her knees. She pulled me around the corner to the empty hallway and opened her coat to show me her swimsuit. It was a full suit with the sides cut out and I had to admit ol mom looked pretty good.

"Okay, Budge, Daddy is taking us on a cruise for Christmas. Does this look okay?"

"A cruise, cool," I exclaimed.

She shut the coat quickly and looked like she was suddenly angry at herself. "No, not a cruise, um…a hotel, daddy is taking us to a hotel."

"Yeah, it looks great for a hotel. It would look better for a cruise, but a hotel would be fine." I tried to make her believe I didn't think we were going on a cruise, but she pretty much let the cat out of the bag.

It was a great surprise because dad rarely shut the club and if he was doing it for Christmas break it meant even more. I was excited to think about all the possibilities on a large cruise ship until I found out I would be sharing a room with Dreamer. Trooper was dating someone and bringing her along. He must have finally decided to start sleeping with someone since they had their own room.

"I am not sharing a room with Budge," Dreamer complained when dad broke the news on the first day of Christmas break. "People will think I'm sleeping with him."

"Well I can't share with him, people will think I'm sleeping with him," mom complained.

"I guess it leaves Trooper's girl," I teased, "And I will be sleeping with her."

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "The cabins are already paid for and you will share with Budge. Nobody will think anything."

Dreamer glared at me and mumbled, "You better not bring girls to our room."

I had no reason to bring a girl to my room, she would know where to find me if I did. I would most likely tell them I was on the opposite side of the boat on a totally different floor. I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn't bring a girl to my room.

Mom and Dreamer went shopping and I just threw a couple of swimsuits and some shirts in a bag and was ready to go. Trooper and Leslie met us at the airport. She wasn't what I expected. She seemed kind of macho for Trooper. He never chose a girl like Emma and it confused me.

We flew to San Diego and boarded the ship. The first order of business was the safety check. We had to put on our floating devices and line up on the deck. We were packed in like sardines and when someone stepped on my bare foot I exclaimed loudly.

The girl turned around and said with wide eyes, "I'm so sorry, that fat guy pushed me."

I gave her a serious stare and said, "That fat guy is my dad."

She gasped louder and tears filled her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything by it, it has been an awful morning and I'm in a really bad mood."

I pointed to my cheek and said, "Right here."

"What?" she asked.

"Kiss me right here and I'll forget all about it,"

She smiled and pushed up on her toes to kiss my cheek. I nodded and said, "All's forgiven."

We stood for our inspection and then given the all clear to return to our cabins. Dad waved and yelled, "Over here, son."

The naïve girl spun around to glare at me and I laughed at her furious face. I was sure it wouldn't be the last time I saw her so I joined my family we headed to the large pool. We found a group of lounge chairs and I sat and watched the gorgeous women enter the pool.

A group came out with matching pink shirts that said, _Bridesmaid_, on the back. One girl had on a white shirt with the word, _Bride,_ on the back of hers. I watched them lay out their towels and take off their shirts to get some sun. The bride to be was wearing a white ruffled bikini.

I was unconsciously smiling when my dad called out, "Budge."

I looked over at him and he shook his head back and forth. I laughed but he didn't join in, he just shook his head again and gave me a warning glare. I turned my head back to the bridal party and watched them chat and giggle for most of the morning.

Dreamer saw a group of kids around her age and walked to the stairs of the pool to introduce herself. Dad and mom were napping, wrapped in each other's arms. Trooper and his girl went back to the cabin so I walked over to the bar and ordered myself a coke and a coconut drink to be sent to the bride with my congratulations.

I walked back to my chair and watched. A waiter took her the coconut with a flower and umbrella. They spoke for a moment and then the entire group turned to look at me. I raised my glass and they all squealed as the bride stood and raised her drink, too.

One of the girls motioned for me to come over, so I stood and grabbed my towel off the chair and moved to join them. I sat at the end of the bride's lounger and said, "Is this a last hooray before being chained down?"

She nodded and introduced at the girls. I didn't catch a single name because they all looked like carbon copies of each other. "We're from a sorority in Colorado," the bride explained. "This is my bachelorette party."

"I'm from Washington State," I explained, making them think I meant the university. "My name is Carlos."

"Are you always this adorable, Carlos," one girl asked as she placed her hand on my thigh.

I looked at her hand and then smiled as I said, "Keep going and I'm downright unbelievable."

The entire group howled with laughter but I wasn't kidding. I was being honest and letting her know what to expect. The bride sat forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "He's all mine, this is my present before I get married."

I would happily be her present, but I wasn't all hers. In fact, there were a couple of the clones I wouldn't mind gifting either. Then there was the girl that stepped on my foot, and not to mention the staff and dancers on the ship.

I saw my mom start to stir so I said, "I'll let you ladies get some sun. I'll see you tonight in the casino."

They all made me promise I would come and I got my stuff and headed to my cabin. The whole family went to eat together and then I played a game of pool with Trooper. I didn't like Leslie; she was bossy and talked too much. I could share a cabin with her and keep my hands to myself. Every time Trooper would say something to me she would ask him to speak louder. I wanted to tell her to shut up and let me have a conversation with my brother. I eventually gave up and headed to the bowling alley. I watched a family with some pretty hot girls, but the father wasn't letting them out of his sight so I moved on.

I had walked this ship from stem to stern and felt like I was trapped on a carnival ride. All there was to do was eat, and eat, and eat. I finally went back to my cabin and collapsed onto the bed in boredom. When the rest of the family showed up we began to make dinner plans. Mom wanted everyone to dress up and I was so glad I didn't bring any clothes.

Dad knocked on my door and held out a suit for me. "You're kidding," I said in anger. "This is my vacation."

"No, this is your mother's vacation and if she wants a nice dinner with her kids dressed up, she's going to have one."

"I don't have shoes," I announced but he pulled his other hand from behind his back and handed me shoes. I grabbed them angrily and considered catching a bus in Ensenada when we went ashore tomorrow.

I showered and dressed and walked sulking to the restaurant with my family. "What's wrong with you?" Leslie asked.

"Nothing," I said like a kid.

"Your dad is doing a great thing for your family, you should act happier," she said to offer me unsolicited advice.

I turned slowly to look at her, ready to rip into her for being Emma's place holder and nothing more. My eyes caught Trooper's and he was staring off with a look of defeat. He was giving up and I couldn't let that happen. I forgot about putting Leslie in her place and nudged Trooper. He looked at me and I motioned for him to come with me.

We left the others waiting for a table and walked into a small gift shop. "You should get something for Emma. She'll be home when we return."

He glanced around and something caught his eye. He walked over to look at some earrings. I decided to look for something for Natalie. She deserved a little gift for dealing with me for two years. I found a nipple ring and bought it, hoping to convince her to get a piercing.

Trooper bought the earrings and we joined the family who had been seated. "I want the food that is on fire," mom said with excitement. "I saw it on a cruise commercial. They brought it out of the kitchen and it was a big flame."

When the waiter arrived mom asked him to bring us whatever they had on fire. He looked at dad in confusion and said, "We don't have anything like that."

"How about seafood," dad asked mom.

"Can they light it on fire?" she asked.

Dad looked at the waiter and he shook his head back and forth. I kicked dad under the table and whispered for him to order some bourbon and I would light mom's plate myself. He shook his head and began trying to talk mom into a salmon dinner.

Nothing was going right with this cruise and I leaned my head in my hand and looked around the room as I sighed. Something caught my eye and I saw the bachelorette girls waving at me. Maybe there was a way to save this trip after all. When we finished eating I excused myself and walked to their table.

"Ladies, you all look beautiful," I said.

The bride grabbed my hand and said, "We decided something. We are all going to share you; do you think you're up to it?"

I glanced at the five eager faces and smiled widely. "I've been preparing for this my whole life," I announced, and they took me by my arms and led me to their cabin.

Dad always told me if something sounded too good, it usually was. I found that not to be true. If something sounded too good you had to be sure to make it happen. I gave myself over to these five girls to do with as they wish. I was overwhelmed by the overload to my senses. I had girls kissing me and touching me and putting their bodies in my hands, my mouth, and applying condoms like lipstick.

I wanted to sleep, to rest, or at least take a breather, but they went at me all night. It was early in the morning when I finally escaped by saying I was going to take a piss, but actually ran from the cabin. I was walking down the hallway toward my cabin as I held onto the wall for support. Every muscle in my body was screaming and my dick felt like it had been set on fire.

Dad walked out of his cabin and saw me. He rushed up and pulled my arm over his shoulder to help me to my room. "Are you okay, do you need a doctor?"

"I'm never having sex again," I cried as he put me on my bed.

"Who were you with?" he asked, and began checking me for injuries.

"A sorority… and I'm rethinking my promise to go to college, too," I whined.

Dad took a deep breath as he struggled to remain calm. He finally said, "You are to stay in the cabin for the rest of the trip. I'm not letting you go ashore either."

I know he thought he was punishing me. His attempt to teach me a lesson was a bit late. I officially hated the state of Colorado and I worried about my dangler permanently dangling for the rest of my life. As my father walked to the door I said earnestly, "Thank you, Dad."

The bottom half of me never moved again for the rest of the cruise.

Mom put pictures of our trip all over the house. But she had to cut Leslie out of them when Trooper broke up with her. I hated the sight of the ship; it brought only painful memories for me. Mom would tell everyone how much fun we had, but she would always add, "Budge was in the cabin for most of the trip because whores broke him."

The saddest part is she was actually right.


	21. Chapter 21

21

When it came time for spring break I begged dad not to plan a family vacation and spent all my time camping out at First Beach with Kellan. We had a tent set up and made large fires at night to stay warm. One evening Feather showed up. I was thrilled to see her and asked her to join me in the tent. She asked if I would take a walk with her first.

We walked along the water for several minutes before she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Budge, I'm pregnant."

My arm automatically wrapped around her and held her to my chest. My mind was racing with several ideas at one time. I wanted to run away to Mexico and pretend I died. I wanted to offer her money and tell her to never mention a word to anyone. I wanted to tell her adoption would be the best plan. But mainly I wanted her to be wrong.

I found my voice and said, "Are you sure?"

She nodded as she sobbed against my chest and I stared out at the black ocean as everything I wanted in my life began to slip away. She sniffed loudly and then said, "I don't know if I want to marry him."

I didn't want to marry, ever. I didn't care if a kid was involved or…..wait….him, she said him, not me. I looked down at her and said, "Marry who?"

"This guy I've been seeing. He's really great, and I think he would be a good dad, but I'm not ready to settle down."

I arched back and looked into the sky with relief. My legs were shaking and I had to breathe in and out several times to make my brain understand it wasn't me. I hugged her tightly and said, "Feather, you need to do what is best for you. If you don't want to marry, then don't."

"But it is too hard being a single mom," she complained.

"What about adoption," I suggested.

"It's complicated when you're a member of a tribe," she sighed, and then began walking again.

I spent most of the night just listening to her talk. I didn't try to give her advice and I wondered if it was possible to wear two condoms at the same time. I was always very careful. If my dangler came out of my pants it was quickly wrapped, no questions asked. I had a feeling I was going to be too afraid to bring it out for a while.

The next day we were packing up our gear when Lance came up to me. I was now taller than him but he could grow a full beard and I still wasn't shaving. He handed me a brown paper bag and said, "Budge, do me a solid and get rid of this for me."

I opened the bag and then quickly pushed it back at him but he wouldn't take it. The bag held a brick of weed and I wasn't getting caught with this shit. "My grandpa is the police chief," I said and held the bag out again.

"I'm done with that. I'll never use it again, but I'm not strong enough to just flush it," he said with a tortured voice.

I pulled the bag back and said, "Okay, but it will cost you fifty bucks."

He nodded and pulled out his wallet and gave me cash. I stuffed the bag into my gear and loaded my truck. I dropped Kellan off first and when I got home the house was empty. I put my dirty stuff in the wash room and put my tent in the garage. As soon as I got up to my room my cell phone rang.

"Hi, mom," I answered.

"Budge, daddy's in the hospital, call Trooper and Grandpa and Grandma Cullen."

"Is he okay?" I gasped. I always thought of my dad as invincible. Mom always thought she was dying from some rare disease, but dad was hardly ever sick.

"He wasn't feeling well, and then he began having horrible pain in his bobbers. I think I used his dangler too much and I killed him. I'm a selfish person and now I'll lose my husband because I can't stay away from him."

I still had no idea what was wrong with dad, but I knew I wouldn't get more information out of mom. I told her I would be there soon and I called Trooper to let him know. I showered quickly and put on clean clothes before heading to the hospital.

I got a call from Trooper as I pulled into the parking lot. "I talked to a nurse. Dad has a strangulated hernia in his groin."

"What's that?" I asked, hoping it wasn't fatal.

"He'll be fine after surgery, but he's been lifting too much. He needs to hire some help at the club."

I relaxed and then chuckled as I said, "Mom thinks she did it by having too much sex with him."

Trooper laughed and then said, "I'm not worried about mom, but Dreamer is going to be a basket case."

"Oh crap," I exclaimed. "How am I supposed to handle this? I need you here, Trooper."

"I'll come after class tomorrow morning, but you have to hold everyone together until I get there," he said sternly.

"Yeah, okay, but hurry," I said before hanging up. I walked into the hospital and asked where to find my family. I was told dad was in surgery and mom and Dreamer were in the waiting area. I walked down the hallway with a heavy weight on my shoulders. I had no idea what to expect and knew my dad was depending on me. I walked into the waiting room and my mom ran to me, falling into my arms in tears.

I patted her back and said, "Mom, Trooper said dad is going to be fine."

"He was in so much pain. Daddy never complains about anything and he was hurting so badly," she cried.

"He needs to hire some help at the club, he's not as young as he used to be," I said.

Mom kissed my cheek and then said, "You're such a little shit, Budge."

I laughed and glanced around for Dreamer. She was standing in the doorway to the surgical suites waiting for any glimpse of a doctor or dad. I walked over and put my arm around her shoulder. "Are you okay, sis?"

She didn't look at me but continued staring forward as she said, "If he has one moment of pain, I swear to God…"

"He'll be fine, I promise," I said. "Dad's lucky to have you watching out for him."

Her gaze finally turned to me and she said, "Budge, if we lost dad I don't know what I would do. No matter what's going on in my life or how I'm feeling, dad is always there to make me feel loved."

I smiled and whispered, "I'll tell you a secret, Dreamer. Dad needs you more than you need him."

"Of course he does," she said adamantly. "Mom's love would have killed him long ago if I wasn't watching out for him."

"That's a little melodramatic," I laughed.

We both stood there staring at the closed doors to the surgical suits and I felt like a real man. I was there for my mother and my sister and I was finding a way to comfort them, until Dreamer said, "Isn't there some nurse you should be sodomizing?"

I kept looking forward as I said, "I would get you a tissue, but I know your bra is full of them."

I quickly moved back to my role as the irritating brother and kept Trooper's spot in the family open for him. I sat in a chair and waited to hear some news. When the doctor finally arrived Dreamer was right in his face demanding to know every detail.

Mom dabbed her wet eyes and asked, "Did you have to remove anything? I'll still love him, but I need to know before I see him. I don't want to scream or anything."

The doctor looked at her with wide eyes and Dreamer demanded again to know every detail of the surgery. He talked to us about performing the surgery quickly enough to save the intestine from becoming ischemic. Mom's eyes narrowed and she said, "Is that a whore disease, because if it is I blame Jessica Stanley."

The doctor looked at mom with sympathy and said, "Your husband knows Jessica Stanley?"

"Intimately," she sighed.

"Well, I only meant the intestine wasn't without a blood supply long enough to do permanent damage. He'll recover and be back to one hundred percent."

"I want to see him, now," Dreamer demanded.

"He's in recovery and when he wakes up we'll take him up to a room," the doctor explained.

"You left him while he is still unconscious?" she yelled loudly, causing everyone to turn and look at us.

The doctor smiled nervously and then said, "A nurse is with him. I promise he is being given the best care available."

At that moment Rose and Emmett came in and mom ran to Emmett and dissolved in his big arms. Rose came over and gave me a hug and asked if I was okay. I smiled and nodded before adding, "I wish Trooper was here."

"We all do," she admitted, and walked over to offer her sympathy to Dreamer.

Emmett was able to calm mom right down and his declaration that dad would be fine went a lot further with her than the doctors. Within half an hour we were escorted up to a room where dad was resting comfortably.

Mom quickly uncovered his toes and kissed them as if she would never see them again. Dreamer got a wet cloth and wiped dad's brow. I sat in a chair and when a young nurse came in to check his vitals I smiled and then winked at her.

She smiled back and said, "He's doing very well. We'll try to have him walk in the morning."

"He's crippled?" mom gasped, and began to cry.

"No," the young woman said quickly. "He'll just be very sore."

"You shouldn't come into a patient's room and announce he's crippled if he's not. You're a cruel woman," mom said through tears.

The nurse was stammering and I stood and took hold of her elbow to escort her from the room. "My mom gets very emotional. You didn't do anything wrong," I told her.

"I'm so sorry, I've never had anyone misunderstand before," she said as her voice shook.

I used my fingers to wipe her tears and assured her there was no reason to apologize. She thanked me for being so understanding and promised to check on dad before she left her shift. I looked her right in the eyes and smiled before telling her I looked forward to seeing her later.

I watched her walk away and something about her scrubs made her look so young and innocent. I went back into the room and sat in the chair to wait for dad to fully wake up. I had my eyes closed and a random thought ran through my head. I had no idea what I had done with the sack full of pot. I looked over at mom and asked, "Do you need me to run home and get anything?"

"No, I know daddy will want his own pajama's so I asked Emmett to get them."

I realized he would have no reason to go into my room, if it was where I put it. But what if I left it on the kitchen table, or in the wash room? I pulled out my phone and quickly dialed his number as I rushed from the hospital. He didn't answer so I called Patrick and told him to tell his dad I was coming home to get stuff for dad so he didn't need to worry about it.

This was exactly why I never got into drugs. I couldn't keep track of my backpack, how in the hell was I supposed to keep track of dope? I pulled up to the house and ran inside. I looked in the wash room and then in my cooler on the table. I couldn't find anything so I ran up to my room. I dumped out my bag of clothes I hadn't used and found it right at the moment Emmett opened the back door.

I stuck the bag up under my bed where I kept my stash of playboy magazines before running into my parent's room and grabbing clothes from my father's dresser. Emmett walked in and I looked up innocently. "Didn't Patrick get hold of you?"

"Yeah," he said awkwardly. "But I kind of want to do this for Bella. She spent years hating me, so I like making her happy now." I handed him the pajamas and he said, "You're a good kid, Budge. And I don't judge you for being gay."

I had somehow morphed into a man whore, drug addict, rapist, sorority project, almost father, southern freak mate, gay guy. Oddly I was okay with it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here is where Soar matches up with Budge's story so I only glossed over his falling in love with Jasmine.**

22

I had no idea what I was doing. I stared up at the ceiling as Natalie talked with her head on my chest. I wasn't listening to what she was saying, but her jaw moving up and down was annoying the hell out of me. I honestly believed I was missing something fundamentally that makes people care about each other. I was leaving for college and I didn't feel any regret or nostalgia.

I graduated from high school and thought something would be different now I was basically on my own. I spent the summer working on the mountain but everything remained the same. I celebrated my eighteenth birthday and was considered an adult, but still nothing changed. Now I was headed to Seattle to attend college and the only thing that would change was the availability of Natalie.

I was grateful she was willing to teach me things, and that she would show up when I needed her, or let me show up on a moment's notice, I really was. But I wouldn't miss her, or long for her like she wanted me to.

I showed up at her house one last time before I left and now I was stuck in her bed as she cuddled up to my side. I didn't want to be here having this kind of intimacy. I finally faked a cough and moved her off of me. I sat up and cleared my throat before saying, "I better get going."

"You can stay the night, Budge. You've never stayed before," she said, and took hold of my arm.

I pulled out of her grasp and said, "No, I have packing to do."

I pulled on my pants and shirt, not caring that the shirt was inside out. She grabbed my boxers and laughed as she hid them under her pillow. I picked up her panties and stuck them in my pocket. I mentally noted to have Patrick monitor the bidding for me.

"Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?" she asked.

I shrugged and said, "If I do I'll let you know."

I didn't want any big emotional goodbye. I had gone months without seeing her before, so this didn't have to be any different. I gave her a quick wave and headed out of her room. Her mother was coming up the stairs as I was going down.

"See ya around, Budge," she said with a grin I found a bit disturbing.

"Yeah, maybe," I said, and hurried my steps.

I had no idea what college was going to be like, but I felt comfortable passing the torch to Dreamer. She would take care of dad and help calm mom. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. As soon as I got finished with college I was free to go and be whatever I wanted.

I assumed college would be filled with studying hard and all the women I wanted, but it was just the opposite. I found the courses quite easy, since Trooper would print out the syllabus for each of my classes and then make me a schedule of homework due and tests which needed taken. It was color coded and reminders popped up on my phone.

The sex thing was much harder than I would have imagined. For some reason college girls wanted to be in committed relationships, not just hookups. They frowned on taking them out one night and asking their roommate out the next. I was constantly being screamed at and called all kinds of names. If you went to their bed they expected you to stay there until morning. I hated college.

Dreamer ended up married to Patrick and somehow I ended up going home from the wedding with Jasmine. It was the beginning or our relationship. I didn't know how long it would last but it was the only time I wanted one woman with me.

I graduated with a degree in something. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I had the paper saying I made it. It was my time and I felt excited in a way that was impossible to explain. I loaded up my truck with all my belongings and headed off for South America.

I was driving through the heat of Guatemala and looked over at Jasmine. Her window was down and her long hair was blowing in the wind. Her bare feet were on my dash and her eyes were closed. I reached over and ran my finger over her knee and felt overwhelmed with happiness.

"Marry me, Jasmine," I blurted out.

She kept her eyes closed but raised her middle finger. I laughed and pulled off the side of the road. She turned her head to look at me and I smiled at her beautiful face. Her cheek was against the seat and her sleepy eyes stared into mine.

"I love you," I said, feeling it more than the words could express.

"Budge," she whispered, and hearing my name on her lips set me on fire. I pulled her to me and kissed her passionately. She removed my shirt which was stuck with sweat to my body and ran her hands down my chest and into my shorts.

I was rock hard in her hand and she moved to straddle me with her body. We weren't using condoms anymore and the feeling was amazing. The jungle seemed to engulf us and her hair was wild around her face as she let her head fall back and yelled, "Make me scream Budge, give it to me hard."

I was rising up off the seat to thrust into her as I held her at the shoulders pulling her to me. I was barely hanging on when she yelled out, "Yes, oh God, yes."

I lost it as my own body released the tension and exploded in total happiness. The girl I had tormented from a very young age was now the woman who had me wrapped around her fingers. I would die for her and my life would be meaningless without her.

I held her tightly to me, panting against her chest as I felt devastating fear of losing her. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and didn't know how to tell her what I was feeling. "Jasmine, you're mine, right?" I asked.

"I'm yours," she said softly, as she played with my hair.

We continued on with our journey and pulled into a small village to find a place to sleep. A little cantina had a room over the top we could rent by the week. I offered to work in exchange for the rent and was given a job washing dishes. I had plenty of money, but I wanted to experience life in this village, not just a place to rest my head.

Jasmine would walk to a small river every day and help the women wash their clothes against the large rocks. They loved to braid her hair and teach her ways to add in flowers and greenery. In less than a week we had some dear friends here.

One night we were sitting around the cantina having drinks when a man named Jairo mentioned his wife made dolls to sell at a local market. She used real human hair and paid top dollar for it. I pointed at Jasmine's as she danced to a small mariachi band. "Would she buy her hair?"

"Oh yes, she would pay lots of money for long hair like that," he assured me.

When the band took a break Jasmine came over and collapsed onto my lap as she tried to catch her breath. I pulled her hair into my hand and held it up off of her neck so she could cool down. "You should cut your hair," I suggested.

"No way," she exclaimed. "I can do so much with it long. I'll just wear it up more."

"Yeah, but it would be a lot cooler if you cut it," I pressed.

"I'll cut it when you wax your balls," she said to settle the matter.

When the band returned she got a tie and pulled her hair into a long pony tail. I continued to watch her dance and found myself smiling unconsciously. She raised her finger and motioned for me to come join her, so I kicked off my sandals and took her hand as I twirled her into my arms.

"Let's get really drunk tonight," I suggested, and she moved onto her toes to kiss me. I kept the tequila flowing for the rest of the night until she was putty in my hands.

I carried her up the stairs and placed her on the bed. Her arms fell over her head and she said, "Budge, every second of this adventure is amazing."

"This is life, sweetheart, and it is amazing because we're together," I said, and moved my body onto hers.

She began removing her clothing and then got onto her knees as she held onto the headboard. I came up behind her and pulled her into my erection as the headboard clapped against the cement wall. When we both collapsed onto the lumpy mattress she pulled just the sheet over her and fell right to sleep.

I got up and grabbed a pair of scissors from the desk drawer and cut her hair just above the tie holding it together. I left it lying on the desk and snuggled up behind her to sleep off the tequila.

The next morning I woke early and looked down at Jasmine. I stared at the uneven butchering of her long, thick hair and felt a sense of panic. I got up and pulled on some shorts before taking the hair to Jairo's house to bargain with his wife.

I didn't want money, but she had a plot of land in Bolivia she was willing to trade. It was high in the Andes and she signed over the deed on the spot. I returned to the cantina and sat down to have some eggs when Jasmine came down the stairs.

She was dressed in a flowing cotton skirt and a small tank top which accentuated her nipples. Her skin was tanned and she looked beautiful. She ran her hands through her short, chopped hair and then looked at me with complete loathing.

I swallowed and glanced around the cantina before I jumped from the chair and bolted for the front door. She was right on my heels and when I tried to run around the side of the building she pushed me up against the wall.

I raised my hands in defeat and tried to reason with her. "Jasmine, listen to me," I begged, "I got us some land so we can settle down. Your hair will grow."

"Did I say you could do this to me?" she asked in anger. "Did you ever hear me give you permission to cut my hair off?" She was leaning into my body and I could feel the rage exuding off of her.

"It was for the better good," I tried to explain. "And it isn't that bad, if you wear a scarf."

Her eyes widened and she pulled the scissors from her skirt. In one swift motion she pulled her arm back and swung hard, impaling me right in the thigh. It took a moment for my brain to register the pain in my leg. I gasped and looked down in shock before I screamed in agony, "You stabbed me."

She pulled the metal from my leg and said, "Oh grow up, it is just a flesh wound."

I stared in horror as she walked off and left me to make my way back to our room. I fell onto the bed and Jasmine got a towel and poured the left over tequila on it before placing it on my wound. I rolled back in forth as I cried out. She reached for a scarf and tied it around my leg.

"There, it isn't that bad, if you wear a scarf," she said, and smirked at me.

She headed downstairs to wash the morning dishes for me and I learned a valuable lesson that day. Jasmine didn't just get mad, she got even.


	23. Chapter 23

23

We eventually made our way to Bolivia to check out the land I traded for Jasmine's hair. The country was beautiful and the Andes were majestic. I was more amazed with Jasmine though, for a prissy girl she did remarkably well with her butchered hair. She never tried to cover it or hide the botched cut job. Every time I looked at her I loved her even more.

We stared at the land and tried to see possibilities instead of miles of nothingness. I walked for several yards as I looked at the large rocks littered on the surface. I could easily build a rock fence, but I needed to have something to fence in.

I placed my hands on my hips and looked over at Jasmine. She walked toward me in the tall grass, letting her hand run along the blades. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck before saying, "Close your eyes."

I dutifully obeyed and held her tighter as I closed my eyes. "You are coming home to me, Budge. You are pulling onto the dirt road leading to where I'm waiting. What do you see?"

I smiled; keeping my eyes closed and said, "I see a block house with wide windows and a huge veranda. White cloth covers the pillars and blows with the wind. You step into the doorway and my chest tightens until I can hardly breathe. I've been working in the fields and you don't care that I'm sweaty and dirty. All that matters is I'm home and you're here for me."

She touched her lips lightly to mine and said, "Welcome home, baby."

Labor was cheap here but I worked right alongside the other men to build my dream. The house came first. We had to dig a well for water and use propane for heat, but the house was comfortable and homey.

Next I built a barn, still not knowing what I would use it for, but I was confident something would come up. It was close to a year later when a very disturbed man helped me find my purpose. He was hired to help me expand the rock fence and a turned out to be a very hard worker.

He was in his late twenties and I quickly noticed how he leered at Jasmine whenever she was around. Her hair was no longer butchered, but now hung to her shoulders in an even line. She came to bring us some tea one day and I saw Jorge eye rape at her. I had done that plenty of times in my life and never cared if the chick's guy saw or not, but this was different…this was MY chick being eye raped.

I waited for Jasmine to leave and stood angrily until Jorge was finished watching her retreating ass. He looked at me and said, "Sorry senior, she is a beautiful woman."

"I'm well aware of that," I told him. "I don't need you to confirm it for me."

"I would like to make sweet love to her," he added, and I was stunned at how boldly he was speaking.

'Yeah, well I would like to hand feed you your balls," I said as the rage built inside of me.

He laughed and I didn't find one thing funny about his comments. He began stacking rocks again and said, "I will trade you my Alpaca for a night with your woman. It is big with cria…um…how you say…baby."

He had a lot of nerve….wait, an Alpaca? A pregnant Alpaca? No, this was my Jasmine we were talking about, but I did have plenty of grazing land for an Alpaca. "What is the going price of their wool?" I asked him.

He smiled with his white teeth showing prominently and said, "Fifty American dollars a pound."

I thought for a moment and then said, "I want a male too. Our deal would be for the pregnant female and a male."

He nodded with excitement and I looked back at my house and said, "Let me think about it."

I wasn't sure I could go through with any deal that involved Jasmine. I would have gotten drunk and slept with Jorge myself if he would have wanted me, but my Jasmine was the only thing he wanted and I wasn't sure I could allow it.

When we finished work I watched him leave before heading into the house. Jasmine was making bread the way the women in the village had shown her. She looked up with flour on her face and smiled at me. My heart raced and I wished Jorge was here so I could punch him in the face.

I walked over and kissed her passionately before saying, "Jorge is hot for you."

"Don't sound so surprised," she teased.

"I'm not surprised at all. You're gorgeous," I stated confidently. I knew it was her sky blue eyes with her dark hair that made her so stunning, but I found her strong spirit the most beautiful. "He tried to offer me a pregnant Alpaca for a night with you."

She laughed and asked, "What's a pregnant Alpaca?"

I walked over to lean against the sink and said, "It is like a Llama. They are known for their wool because it is softer than sheep and people aren't allergic to it."

"Okay," she said and went back to her bread.

"Okay what?" I asked.

"I'll do it."

My stomach dropped and the plastic cup I was holding fell from my hand. She looked over at me and shrugged. "Isn't this what you do, trade for something of value?"

I licked my dry lips and tried to talk. My voice wouldn't project due to the tightness in my throat. I looked down, feeling weak in front of her, and only shook my head back and forth. She came over to the sink and kissed my cheek before saying, "Budge, let me take care of this for you. I'll get you the Alpaca and everything will be okay."

She didn't understand that she was different to me. She wasn't just someone to fill my bed, she was my heart. All those years I had pitied Trooper and now I was in his shoes. But Jasmine didn't feel the same way. She was on an adventure with me, most likely just to piss off her father. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had to get out of there. I moved her aside and went into my office and shut the door.

I hadn't made contact with my family since the day I left. I pulled up my email, using my dial up internet and saw some messages from Trooper. He was blissfully happy in Africa with his Emma. They were saving the world one school at a time and I was down here trading my love for an animal.

I opened a letter from my mother and smiled as I read her words.

_Budge,_

_I hope you are okay and not in jail. If you are in jail don't let the pretty boys do you, they have whore germs too. I miss my kids so much and I hope you are safe and happy. Don't worry about us, daddy is busy with the club and I am making scrapbooks for Dreamer's son. He looks just like Patrick did as a baby, but he appears to be a bit brighter. Grandpa Swan retired finally and Emmett is the new Chief. He will most likely rid Forks of all crime. I don't have any news on Grandpa judgmental ass Cullen. He is probably trying to kill grandma with chair sex. You know he broke her arm once, right? _

_Nastylie said to tell you hi, but I refuse to do it, so consider yourself not acknowledged by junior Jess. I can't totally blame you for having sex with her. I did drop you a couple of times when you were little but Trooper was too small to lift you from your crib. So it is partly Trooper's fault. _

_Be a good boy, and remember you can budge whenever you want! Oh, and please don't trade Jasmine for anything. It would break her sweet father's heart._

_I love you as only a squiggle can,_

_Mom_

Her admonishment hit home and I closed my eyes as I felt my heart breaking. I deserved this for being so callous over the years. Maybe I wasn't freaky enough for Jasmine and she was desperate for something new and exciting. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it.

I found Jasmine in the kitchen still and picked up a hand towel, twirling it several times and then snapping it right across her ass. She spun around in shock and her eyes looked stunned as she said, "What the hell, Budge."

I smiled and said, "Get onto your knees."

Her eyes narrowed and she gritted her teeth as she said, "What did you say?"

I was a bit worried and looked around the counters for any scissors before I repeated my request…it was actually a demand, but I would call it a request if she was this pissed.

She stared right at me as she lowered to her knees. When I saw this playing out in my head she was facing away from me… and smiling. I wasn't sure what to do about her looking up at me with anger. She could tell I was wavering about something so she added, "I would think twice before putting anything in my mouth right now."

It wasn't my intention; I was drawing on Shelby's peccadilloes and thought maybe it was something that ran in southern girls. I was only going to spank her and do her from behind. I almost told her to forget the whole thing, but she was looking at me while on her knees and I wanted her even more now.

I lowered to my own knees and reached out to hold her face softly in my hands. I placed my forehead onto hers and whispered, "Turn around or I'll spank you."

A smile grew on her face and she pulled from my hold and got onto all fours to turn around. I wound the cloth again and when my hand came forward to swat her she quickly fell to the ground and I missed my target.

She jumped up off the floor and quickly got behind me, pushing me onto all fours and then jumping on my back. "Don't budge," she said into my ear making me instantly hard. She reached under me to unhook my jeans and then pulled them down, leaving my ass exposed.

She reached into a drawer and pulled out a wooden spoon. I have to admit for a split second I honestly thought she was going to sodomize me with it. She tapped it a couple of times on my flesh and then gave me a strong smack, but at the same time she was massaging my balls.

"If you want a beast of burden you have to know what it feels like," she said, as she put a piece of rope around my neck. It wasn't tight and she placed the other end inside a drawer so it could easily be pulled out. I found myself wanting her to hit me again.

"An Alpaca would have to stand in the fields all day, only looking," she said as she removed her clothing. She was just out of my reach so I remained on all fours watching her. She lay on the rug with her legs bent and her body lounging on her elbows. She slowly opened her legs as she added; "Only looking."

My eyes looked right at what she was offering me and when I leaned forward she shook her head back and forth. Her hand lowered and began touching the place I desperately wanted to touch as she said, "Animals can only look, are you a bad animal, Budge?"

"No," I said in only a whisper.

She smiled and said, "I think you are. I think you wanted to hit me and then ride me like I was an animal. Do I look like an animal?"

I was mesmerized by her movements and I could only lick my lips and shake my head. "Is this what you want now?" she asked, holding up her wet fingers. I nodded and moved until the rope was taught on my neck and my tongue could reach her fingers. She watched me as I sucked each one and then scooted closer so I could reach her body.

She moaned and sighed as I devoured her. When she screamed out with pleasure I pulled her onto my lap. We connected and she wrapped the rope in her hand as she used her legs to push up and down. I came hard and fast as I screamed out my love for her.

She kissed me deeply and said, "Don't worry, Budge; I'll get you that damn Alpaca."


	24. Chapter 24

24

I lay awake in the dark as I wondered if there was ever once a girl felt love for me and I dismissed it. I knew Natalie never loved me; she was seeing several men and never complained about me seeing other girls. I couldn't imagine Trooper feeling this way for years at a time. I was dealing with this for less than twelve hours and I wanted to go out of my mind.

I got up early the next morning and went into the field to work on the rock wall. I saw Jorge pull up in his old beat up van. Jasmine came out of the house and spoke to him for a few minutes before getting into my truck and driving off.

I glared at Jorge as he walked toward me. I wanted to crush his skull with a rock. He chuckled and got right to work without saying a word to me. I usually invited him in to eat lunch, but today I went by myself and left him to find something to eat in town. Jasmine hadn't returned so I made a sandwich and choked it down with a cold beer.

I decided I would work him longer hours to make any hook up with my lover less than a stellar performance. When it grew dark I had him pull his van to where we were working and continued on with the headlights shining on us.

He finally arched his back to relieve his aching muscles and said, "I must go now."

I nodded and refused to speak so when he drove away I walked back to the house. Jasmine looked up from her reading and said, "You worked late tonight, make a bath and I'll bring you some food."

I was soaking in the water when she brought me a plate. I ate like a starving man and knew I couldn't keep up this pace for very long. She got a cup and washed my hair, which was almost as long as hers.  
>"Come to bed and I'll rub your back," she offered.<p>

I got up and dried off with a towel before lying face down on the bed. She sat on my body and rubbed lotion into my skin. I was trying to find a way to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to ask her to promise me she would never look at another man, let alone sleep with one. As I tried to work the words out in my mind I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with Jasmine in my arms. I kissed her face and her eyes opened slowly to look up at me. I was terrified to say what I wanted to say, because I didn't know if this would finally end us and I would lose her forever. She smiled softly and I leaned in to kiss her.

"Jasmine, I can buy an Alpaca. I have plenty of money, but you are my entire world and I can't let another man touch you. I'd kill him before letting him have you."

I was speaking from my heart and I felt like such a wuss when my eyes filled with tears. She sat up and looked at me with surprise. "Budge, I already got you the Alpaca," she announced. "Last night I…."

I pushed her from my arms and jumped out of the bed like a madman. She reached out for me but I pushed her away and paced the floor as I breathed loudly. She finally had to scream at me to get my attention. "Budge Q. Cullen, would you listen to me, you asshole."

I stopped pacing and looked at her, feeling my heart clinching. She crawled on her knees to the edge of the bed and took hold of my face. "Did you seriously think I would sleep with him myself? He thinks he slept with me, but he didn't."

"What?" I asked, as my mind tried to understand her words.

"I told him to meet me in the abandoned shed by the river. I knew it would be so dark he wouldn't be able to see me very well. I found someone who could pass as me in the dark."

I let out a funny snort and then began laughing hysterically. Jasmine laughed with me, but I was so happy because she didn't sleep with him, not that she fooled him. I grabbed her at the waist and spun her around as I kissed her chest over and over again.

She wiggled out of my arms and took hold of my hand. "Come see, he brought them this morning."

I looked out the window at a brown and white Alpaca that was very fat, and then a tan and white one that looked very thin. I kissed her again and asked, "Who did you send?"

She shook her head back and forth and said, "You don't want to know."

"No, I really do," I pushed, because I had to know he never put one finger on my girl.

Jasmine laughed and said, "Okay, there's this guy named Romo and he's the same size as me and has hair as long as mine. I paid…."

"Wait," I gasped, "You sent a guy?"

"He wanted to go," she said to defend her decision.

"But surely Jorge knew it was a guy," I said, trying to figure it all out in my head.

She let her head fall back and laughed even louder. "Yes, he knew, but he thinks you're married to me so what does that say about you?"

"I'm sleeping with a transvestite?"

"And apparently you love it," she teased.

"Marry me," I said with a determined expression.

She groaned and tried to move away but I held her tightly and repeated my proposal again. She took a deep breath and tried to explain something to me. "Budge, I don't need to be married to you to be committed to you. I'm yours for as long as you want me."

"I want you forever," I begged.

"Then you have me forever," she reiterated.

"I want you to be Jasmine Cullen and have my children," I said in desperation, but her face looked away and tears began to form. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She pulled away from me and said softly as she stared out at the Alpaca. "Haven't you noticed we are not using protection and I haven't gotten pregnant?"

I had noticed we weren't using protection, because of how damn good it felt, but I never thought about a baby becoming a possibility. She had never mentioned it and I just assumed she was on the pill or something. I ran my hand down her silky hair and said, "Do you want a baby?"

She wiped a tear away and turned to look at me. "Someday, and you'll build this place into something incredible and you'll want someone to pass it to. Don't lie to me and tell me you won't."

My eyes darted around seeing everything she couldn't see. "Jasmine, did I want any part of my father's business? Did you? This is our dream and I don't expect to hand it off to anyone. If you want a baby I will damn sure give you a baby."

She shook her head and tears ran down her cheeks like rain. "I saw a doctor Budge, I can't have a baby."

"Bullshit," I exclaimed. "This world is full of babies needing a mother as incredible as you."

"You can't make a trade for a baby," she yelled. "We are not citizens here and nobody from America would give us a baby to drag all over the world."

Jasmine doubted me. I wasn't sure what to think of that fact, since I never doubted myself. I had the balls to totally humiliate myself if I had to, but once I set my mind on something I would always make it happen. I heard the Alpaca make a noise that sounded like a groan and my eyes looked out the window. I smiled and said, "I didn't say it would be a human baby."

Jasmine turned to look at the mother pulling on the rope and then smacked my stomach. We walked outside and decided we needed to find out as quickly as possible how to raise Alpacas. I talked with everyone I could who knew anything about the animals.

I added a large shearing center to the property and traded the wool for more animals. I soon had an entire ranch full of Alpacas and began breading them for the best grade of fiber. One night Jasmine came to the barn and looked at the large loads of spun yarn I had ready to ship and said, "Budge, if a pound goes for 60 bucks, and the spools go for 80, why don't we make our own product and sell it for 200?"

It was how we ended up building a manufacturing plant and making hand-woven sweaters, throws, horse blankets, and scarves. Jasmine hired women to do the weaving and designed her own line a products. We had everything we could possibly want in the world, except I wanted her to be my wife and she wanted a child.

One day I drove her to the top of a ridge where the whole valley could be seen. I held her in my arms and felt like I was king of the world, or at least my little section of the world. She sighed and rested her head against my shoulder. "It is all so beautiful," she said.

"I want to marry you on this spot," I told her.

She turned and placed her hands in mine as she smiled up at me. I was wearing a bulky sweater of our own wool and she had on a poncho. Our jeans were dirty and I hadn't put on shoes in weeks. "Budge Q. Cullen, do you swear you will love me forever and be my partner in everything life throws our way. Do you promise to be faithful to me, meaning you can never, ever, let another woman see or touch your dick?"

I ginned widely and said, "Yes, I do. Jasmine Brandon Whitlock, do you swear you will love me forever and be my partner in everything life throws our way. Do you promise to be faithful, never become prissy again, and let me go barefoot?"

"Yes, I do," she said, and then we collapsed into a loving kiss.

It wasn't anything official, but it felt as real as any wedding I had ever witnessed. I was committed to Jasmine for life and another woman would never come between us. She was all I would ever want. We drove home and spent the entire day in bed, like any newlywed couple would.

It was late in the day when someone knocked on our door. I opened it to see a young girl standing there asking to see Jasmine. I invited her in and she sat on the sofa as Jasmine dressed. When she came out she said, "Lucinda, what's wrong?"

The girl fell into Jasmine's arms and cried hysterically. I left the room to give her some privacy and to avoid the drama. I wouldn't be able to help and most likely would end up saying something to make things worse.

Jasmine spent most of the evening with the girl and then drove her home when it became too dark for her to walk. I waited impatiently for her to return so I could find out what was going on. Jasmine walked into the house and her face looked a bit pale.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

She nodded and walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water. She finally turned and said, "Budge, are you willing to perpetuate a horrible fraud to spare a family their dignity?"

I had to think for a moment, because I was entirely willing for a profit, but dignity? Hum…I wasn't sure. "What would I have to do?" I asked.

"You will have to say I'm pregnant and then deliver a baby and pretend it is ours," she announced, and watched me closely for a reaction.

I had delivered plenty of Alpaca Cria and was becoming quite an expert at making sure the baby was healthy from the start, but a human baby was something totally different. I wasn't sure how I would be delivering a baby if there wasn't really a baby to deliver. I was standing there in confusion when Jasmine pulled me to the sofa.

"Lucinda is pregnant and she is only fourteen. Her parents will not allow her to keep the baby since the father is a married man. They don't want the people in town to know so I offered to let her live here to pretend she is caring for me during a difficult pregnancy. When the baby is delivered everyone will think it is ours."

I stared at her in stunned silence so she added, "We will have to travel to the capital for a birth certificate. Lucinda will come with us and sign legal papers letting us adopt her baby."

I was going to be a father and the idea excited me but only one thought kept running through my mind, I was going to have to deliver this baby! You would think I would be a vagina expert by now, but I suddenly wished Emmett was here.


	25. Chapter 25

25

When news spread of Jasmine's difficult pregnancy women from the town began coming to see her and bringing food. She was laid up on the couch with a pile of Alpaca throws over her as she begged people to give her some peace and quiet. Everyone was happy to know a helpful girl like Lucinda had been employed and I secretly began calling her loose-inda. It wasn't kind, but I knew my mother would have come up with some variation of her name, so I did it to honor my own mother.

It was at this time I got an email from Trooper telling me everyone would be home for Christmas and I should come too. I wasn't sure if this was the year to do it since the baby would only be two months old and dependent on the proper paperwork to leave the country. I emailed him back and told him I would let him know when the time grew closer.

We only had to continue the ruse for five months since Loose-inda wore flowing skirts and many layers. I tried to study everything I could regarding childbirth and refused any offers of help from the village women. I just hoped Jasmine had some inbred, innate information that came from having her own vagina.

Loose-inda woke us up during the night on October 11th with bad labor pains. We shut all the drapes and put her in our bed with plastic and towels underneath her. She was so brave and would bite down on a rolled up towel to keep from screaming in pain. Jasmine did her best to soothe her and rubbed her stomach lovingly. I was shaking and praying this was all a dream, hoping I would wake up soon.

I wasn't a stranger to this certain area of a woman's body, I had seen it many, many times, in every color and trim you could imagine, but I had never seen it with a baby coming out. I scrunched up my nose and covered my face with my shoulder to keep from vomiting.

"Budge, grow up," Jasmine yelled at me.

"It's gross," I said emphatically. She was lucky I wasn't making a run for it.

"It is your child, so man up or I swear I'm cutting off your balls," she said back to me.

I hadn't considered it in that way before. This was my child I was delivering, not just Loose-inda's baby we were going to pass off as ours. I focused and began helping her make it through the contractions, massaging where I read so she wouldn't tear.

When the head emerged it was facing downward and all I could see was a mess of black hair. I held it gently in my hands and it slowly turned as the shoulder emerged. I held on tightly under one arm as the baby slid easily into my waiting arms. It was crying loudly and I looked up to see Jasmine crying too.

I handed her the child and then proceeded to tie and cut the cord. Jasmine wrapped her in warm blankets and began washing her off with a wet rag. Loose-inda still needed my attention so I went back to work to make sure the entire placenta came out and her bleeding remained under control.

Jasmine then handed me the baby and I walked away while she helped clean up Loose-inda and get her into a fresh nightgown. I held the infant in the living room under the light of just the moon. She was so beautiful and I kissed her head as I dropped tears onto her.

When Jasmine returned she wrapped her arms around us and said, "She was born on October 12th at 3:30 in the morning."

"We need a name for her," I said, knowing my mother would do it if we didn't.

"My dad's grandmother was named Mariella. I think it would be perfect for her," Jasmine said and kissed our daughter.

I was actually quite relieved since I had not ever had sex with anyone named Mariella and couldn't be accused of naming my child after a past lover. I quickly agreed and said, "Mariella Budmine Cullen."

"Budmine?" Jasmine laughed. "I don't think so."

"Why, it is a combination of our names," I complained.

"It's hideous," she said angrily, "Why don't you just name her asshat and doom her to a life of epic failure."

"You think my name is the equivalent of ass?" I gasped. I knew my name was odd, but I liked it. It had meaning and made me unique.

"Your name is Budge," she yelled, and walked away so she wasn't yelling right in our child's face. "How much closer to ass can it get?"

"Oh, so now the truth comes out," I said in a harsh whisper since I was holding the baby.

"It wasn't a big secret," she laughed angrily. "Budge is a stupid ass name, period."

"And what the hell is Jasmine? You are no flower, princess," I retorted.

"It is a perfectly acceptable southern name," she said as her voice went up an octave.

"Not when Patrick is screaming it into the night," I mistakenly said.

She gasped and I instantly wanted to stick a bar of soap in my mouth. I couldn't believe what I had said, especially since her retaliation about me could go on for days. I wasn't jealous of Patrick; I totally understood her desire for a swanky car. Plus he was my brother-in-law and loved my sister deeply.

Jasmine raised her finger at me and spoke with a terrifying calm through gritted teeth. "You just named our daughter Mariella Patricia Cullen."

I nodded, totally okay with whatever she said at the moment. Who actually uses their middle name anyway? The only reason people in school knew mine was because the teachers yelled, "Budge Q. Cullen, go to the office right now," so often.

We both heard something and turned to see Loose-inda staring at us in shock. She was holding her stomach and crying. "You no want my baby?" she cried.

Jasmine ran to her and hugged her tightly. "Oh sweetheart, we love your baby very much. We will treasure her and give her all the love we can."

"You fighting," Loose-inda pointed out.

"No, we weren't fighting. We were naming her. Look," Jasmine said, and held her arm out for me to bring the baby over. "She is so perfect. Her name is Mariella Patricia Cullen."

Loose-inda looked up at me and I mouthed silently, "Budmine."

Her mouth pulled into a smile and she glanced down at the baby. "You have pretty baby, Mrs. Cullen," she announced letting us know this child was ours and she saw it that way.

Jasmine looked her in the eyes and said gratefully, "Thank you."

We let people know about the birth and visitors came with gifts. Jasmine and I both had dark hair, and with all the work I did in the sun I had a dark tan. Nobody seemed to question the legitimacy of our daughter. We traveled to La Paz and got all the necessary documentation to make her truly ours so I finally brought up the possibility of going home for Christmas.

I wasn't sure Jasmine would want to return. She never complained about being homesick and she had changed so much I couldn't even imagine her as the high maintenance girl she used to be. We were lying in bed and I rolled onto my side to look at her.

"If you don't want to go it is fine," I said honestly.

"I'll go if you want to go," she said, and rolled over to face me.

"Do you want to go?" I pressed.

"I guess, if you want to go," she added.

I laughed and said, "Don't sound so excited."

She reached out and held my face with her delicate hand. "Budge, you are my whole world. The only thing I want is to be with you."

I have no idea how we ended up so much in love. I knew Jasmine my whole life and couldn't fathom a scenario where I would find anything remotely likeable about her, but now I would die without her in my life. I pulled her into my arms and loved her as slowly as possible.

When we were lying naked in each other's arms I whispered into her hair. "Let's go home and let Mariella meet her family."

I got in touch with Trooper and found out Emma was expecting. We were going to meet up at the Seattle airport and travel all together to Port Angeles. I knew Dreamer and Patrick had one kid, but I was shocked to hear they now had two.

We decided to keep it a secret that me and Jasmine were coming. I think Trooper just didn't believe we would follow through. I didn't tell him about Mariella and wanted it to be our big surprise. We landed after a long flight and found them waiting for us at the gate. We all hugged excitedly.

Emma was huge and my eyes bugged out when I saw her. She saw the infant carrier and looked at skinny Jasmine before her lip trembled and tears threatened.

"Wow, Jasmine didn't get anywhere near that huge," I teased, making Trooper punch my arm. I turned the carrier around to let them see Mariella and they both looked at us with confusion. "I traded some awesome hiking boots for her," I said with a straight face.

Emma gasped and Dreamer held tighter to her own daughter. Jasmine interrupted and said, "We adopted her. It was all legal."

We all headed to the luggage pick up and Trooper pulled me aside and asked, "Do you have the adoption papers with you?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, already knowing he would feel much better if he saw proof I hadn't actually traded something for my daughter.

He tried to act unconcerned and shrugged before saying, "I just thought I would take a look at them to see if anything was missed."

I pulled them from my backpack and laughed as he read through all the documents. I knew I wasn't the most reliable person, but this was my child we were talking about. I would protect her at all cost, and never even consider trading her for anything.

Dreamer smiled at me and reached out to touch my full beard. I wasn't making any big statements; it was just easier to let it grow instead of shaving every day. My hair was long and I had it pulled into a ponytail. "You look exactly how I imagined," she said with emotion.

"You don't," I said with a voice full of my own emotion. "I expected to see a little girl screaming her head off, not a beautiful woman with her own family."

"You just think I'm beautiful because you've been living in a jungle," she laughed, refusing to accept my compliment.

I reached out and grabbed a young man walking past. I pointed at Dreamer and asked, "Isn't this woman gorgeous?"

"Very much so," he said with a grin, and looked her up and down.

"Dude, she's my little sister," I exclaimed, and stepped in front of her to block his view. Men are such disgusting creatures.

Patrick loaded all the luggage onto a cart and we made our way to a full-sized van. Trooper drove and Emma sat up front since she needed extra room. I held out my hand for a high five and asked Dreamer's son, "What's your name?"

"Dyno," he replied.

Damn, I really liked that name and wished Jasmine and I would have thought of it first. "Cool," I told him. "I can show you an awesome tree house behind Grandpa's house."

He smiled widely, showing off a missing bottom tooth. I messed up his hair and said, "You know your teeth fall out from kissing girls?"

"Grandma Cullen said only if they're whores," he announced. "Daddy pulled mine." We all laughed and Dreamer told us they called mom to tell her about his tooth.

I looked out at the city where I had attended college and discovered my love for Jasmine. "Hey, let's go past my old apartment," I suggested, "It isn't too far out of the way."

"No," Dreamer said angrily, "Dad is expecting us."

"It would be ten minutes max," I begged.

"Patrick?" Dreamer said to make her husband stand up to me.

"I'm not the one driving," he declared.

"Trooper, I swear I will scream so loudly it will put Emma into labor," Dreamer threatened.

I laughed and sat back to give up on the trip down memory lane. Obviously, some things would never change. 


	26. Chapter 26

**This is where the story meets up with the last chapter of Soar. So I will skip past that part.**

26

I woke up early and made my way into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and it didn't feel right anymore. I got some scissors from the drawer and cut my beard enough to shave, and then I pulled my hair into my hand and cut it just above my fist. It wasn't styled but it didn't look too butchered. I went back into the room to see Jasmine sleeping soundly with Mariella in a portable crib next to our bed.

I quietly snuck from the room and went downstairs to see my mother putting together a breakfast for everyone. I jumped onto the counter to watch her and noticed a large bucket full of chocolate chips sitting next to me. I took a handful and looked at mom with raised eyebrows.

"I found it cheaper to buy in bulk," she explained. "I love being able to see your face, son. You no longer look like bushy pelvis."

"Thanks," I said, and tossed some chocolate into my mouth. "What do you have to be stressed about, we're all gone?" I asked.

She looked around the room for anybody eavesdropping and then whispered, "Dyno caught daddy and me playing Christmas."

"Putting out the presents?" I asked, thinking he was now aware there was no Santa.

"No, daddy was cuming down my chimney and I was his ho ho ho."

"Dyno came into your room?" I asked, certain he heard the wall pounding and wanted to know what it was.

"No, we were under the Christmas tree," she whispered again.

I laughed loudly and then said with a grin, "Mom, you and dad are actually quite the inspiration. I don't fear growing old."

"We're not old," she said defiantly. "And he used Viagra that one time just to see what it was like, not that he needed it."

I held my hands up to make her stop talking. I was happy they were still sexually active, but I didn't need to hear about my father's drug induced erection, just like she didn't need to hear about me wearing Jasmine's panties one time.

"So what did you tell Dyno?" I asked, dying to hear the answer to this question.

"Daddy told him my back was out of place and he was popping it back in, but he isn't as stupid as Patrick was, do you think he believed it?"

"Sure, why not?" I said with a shrug.

At that moment Jasmine came downstairs with Mariella in her arms. Mom rushed over to take the baby as Jasmine began making a bottle without looking directly at me. I put my arms around her from behind and hugged her tightly. She continued making the bottle as I kissed her neck and moved up to her ear.

"Does anything feel different?" I asked her.

She moved her ass back a bit, pressing it into me and then said, "Nope, exactly the same."

I forced her to turn around in my arms and she smiled widely at my clean shaven face. She picked up a strand of my hair and said, "We'll work on this."

I lowered my mouth to hers and she used her tongue to take some of the chocolate residue from my mouth. She was standing against the counter and I crushed her with my body which was suddenly ravenous for her.

The doorbell rang and then opened before waiting for someone to answer. "Hello?" Alice yelled out. Jasmine pushed me off of her and ran screaming toward the sound of her mother's voice. I actually felt a bit badly for not insisting she visit earlier. I followed her into the foyer and gave Alice and hug and shook Jasper's hand. They barely glanced at me but kept their eyes trained on Jasmine.

Alice had tears in her eyes as she said, "Oh honey, you need a facial and look at your nails. How long since you've had a manicure?"

I wanted to point out Jasmine wasn't prissy anymore, but I also felt like a putz for not taking better care of my wife. She grabbed hold of both her mother and father and said, "Come meet your granddaughter."

They looked like she announced she was a serial killer or something. I followed them into the kitchen where my mother sat feeding Mariella her bottle. Jasmine said to mom, "Can my mother feed her granddaughter?"

"Sure," mom said with a big grin, "Go get her and we'll feed our granddaughters together."

"Mom," I said softly, and placed my hand on her shoulder, "Mariella is Alice's granddaughter too."

"Oh," mom gasped, and handed Alice the baby. "And she didn't cheat on him, they adopted an Alpaca baby."

Jasper stared at me with his large eyes and I saw a glimpse of what my mother went through when he was her boss. He finally spoke with a tight jaw and said, "It seems we have a lot to catch up on."

"Are you kids married?" Alice asked.

Jasmine and I looked at each other and smiled. "Yes," she said adamantly. "We are married."

Alice looked at Jasper and said, "They can't afford a ring, give them some money."

I shook my head, feeling even lower and said, "I can afford a ring."

"Mom, I don't need a ring," Jasmine announced. "I have Budge and Mariella, it is all I need."

My mother leaned closely to me and whispered, "Daddy has two other wedding rings, you can have one if you want?"

I was relieved when Dyno came walking down the stairs. I rushed over to tell him to dress quickly and I would show him the fort. I grabbed a muffin from the cabinet so he would have something to eat and then made my way to the back porch to wait for him.

We were high in the tree sitting on the wooden platform when I looked back at the house and sighed. "Are you sad?" Dyno asked me.

"No, I just don't think things through enough sometimes," I said, confiding to a five year old.

"Mommy says daddy doesn't have a brain, only an ass," he said, being wise beyond his years.

"Yeah, well, sometimes I would settle for being an ass," I laughed. "Let me ask you something Dyno, if there was a girl you liked how would you let her know?"

He took an appropriate moment to think about the question and then he said, "I would kiss her."

"Okay, good, good," I said to encourage him. "Now let's say you want other people to know you like her, but you can't tell them. What would you do?"

Again he thought about it before blurting out anything. He looked up at the sun with one eye closed and then said, "I think I would get a tattoo that said I liked her."

I stared in awe at Dreamer's small child who was so much wiser than me. He not only made me feel much better, but he gave me an answer that would totally fit with me and Jasmine's lifestyle. Mom yelled out the door to say everyone had arrived and we were opening presents. I smiled at Dyno and said, "Santa came."

"He already came in Germany," he informed me. "These gifts are just from relatives."

I held my hand out for him to slap it and I said, "I like you, you're a bit too freakishly smart for my tastes, but all in all you're a good kid."

He smacked my hand hard and then added, "You are a much better uncle without the beard. But you need to fix your hair."

We walked to the house with a connection I hoped would last for years. We were family and the miles would mean nothing. I gave both sets of grandparents a big hug and then took my daughter from Jasmine before saying, "Your gift will happen tomorrow."

She ran her hand over Mariella's face and said, "I already have my Christmas miracle."

We all watched Dyno and Sable open their gifts. Dreamer sat on dad's lap, her long legs flowing to the ground, but she didn't care. Emma sat on a stool and Trooper rubbed her back lovingly. Mom glared at Grandpa Cullen the entire time and when he handed her a gift she grabbed it from his hand and said, "My squiggle designs made you profitable."

She pulled the wrapping paper from the gift and found a painting. It was abstract and looked like a child simply threw paint onto a canvass. "What's this?" mom asked, giving grandpa a warning stare.

I noticed dad moved a bit closer in case he had to restrain mom. Grandpa looked a little nervous and said, "It is a painting by a modern abstract artist. I thought you would appreciate it."

Mom looked back at the painting and then nodded. "Yeah, it's cool. I'll keep it away from the dog."

Everyone looked around the room for any sign of a dog, but I only chuckled because I had noticed the picture of the large Great Dane in the foyer. We all settled down to eat and dad stood at the end of the long row of tables and said, "This has been the best Christmas we've had in a long time."

Dreamer cut in and said, "Well, now that we have money, Patrick is getting out of the Army and we are moving here."

Everyone cheered loudly and I tried to catch a glimpse of Jasmine's face. I wanted to see if she wished we lived here, but I couldn't see anything since she was staring down at Mariella. Trooper put his arm around Emma and said, "I think we'll be in Seattle a lot more often. I want to start my own foundation and that will keep me here to work with donors."

Again everyone cheered and then all faces turned to look at me. I wasn't sure what they wanted to hear. I didn't necessarily have to go back to Bolivia. The business was going well enough to hire a manager to oversee operations. But I had nothing here to keep me rooted. It was at that point when Rose said, "Bella, did you tell Budge about you know what?"

Mom was spooning up some mashed potatoes and dumped them harshly on her plate before looking at Rose. I looked back and forth between them and said, "What is, you know what?"

"It's Christmas, Rose. You are not supposed to bring up Satan's spawn on the day we celebrate a jolly fat man."

"Our Savior," Emma said softly.

"What?" mom asked her.

"We're celebrating the birth of our Savior," Emma explained.

Mom huffed angrily and then said, "The adults are talking so the kids should just be quiet."

I wasn't about to be quiet, and I wasn't a kid anymore either. Rose specifically mentioned my name and I wanted to know what my mother didn't want me to know. I looked at Rose and said, "You tell me."

The one thing that was impossible for my mother was lying. She was horrible at it, and usually spoke around subjects instead of outright lying. She turned to get my attention and said with a big grin on her face. "I got you a snake for Christmas. You know how you loved having a pet, so I got you a snake to make you less concerned about your dangler."

Okay, this was a riddle I could easily figure out. Something Rose and my mother knew had to do with my penis, so it most likely had to do with someone I had slept with in the past, someone mom didn't want to mention on Christmas and considered a spawn of Satan, who in mom's eyes was Jessica Newton.

I looked at Rose and said, "What do you know about Natalie that mom doesn't want me to know?"

Mom glared at Rose and mumbled, "I'm telling everyone you said Emmett's balls are drooping."

Emmett looked at everyone in shock and then looked down at his pants. Rose was now furious at my mother and would tell me anything I wanted to know. "Your friend Kellan is married to Natalie," she announced, and then gave my mom a smirk.

"So," I said in confusion. I had no idea how it applied it me. Maybe mom thought I would be jealous or possibly grossed out by the fact my best friend was married to the girl I learned everything from.

Mom spoke slowly so my feeble brain could understand. "She couldn't get you so she took Kellan, don't visit them while you're home because she'll try to lure you back to her."

I laughed and looked at Jasmine. I had a feeling nobody had faith in my relationship with my 'sort of' wife. She smiled at me and I gave her a quick wink. "I think I'll introduce my best friend to my wife and child," I announced.

Mom spun around in anger toward my father and said, "I told you we should have gotten him a shot instead of money."


	27. Chapter 27

27

I could understand why people would assume I would hook up with Natalie again. They probably thought I lived in Bolivia with the Alpaca just to stay faithful. Nobody understood my desire to have sex without commitment ended the moment I fell in love with Jasmine. I wanted to show her off to my best friend and let them see how I had grown up and had a family to care for now.

That night when the house grew quiet my father asked me to join him in his office. I had my rebuttal all ready if he brought up Natalie, but instead he poured me a glass of wine and appeared to only want to chat.

"I'm thinking of retiring," he announced.

My eyes widened and I asked, "You're a bit young aren't you?"

He sat back and took a deep breath. "I'm tired of the late nights and trying to keep the place current. I want to travel with your mom and enjoy my life while I'm still young."

"Is Jasper buying you out?" I asked.

"I haven't decided. I may just have a manager run the place," he explained.

I nodded because I totally understood. "I've been thinking the same thing," I told him. "I work on the ranch but I'm not needed there."

"You don't consider Bolivia home?" he asked.

I smiled at him and said softly, "No dad, this is home."

He smiled and took another drink of wine before shaking his head lightly. "We are lucky men, Budge. We took the wrong road and found our angels anyway."

"Oh, I don't know," I said, "Trooper is perfect and I doubt his road was any easier."

"Trooper isn't perfect," dad chuckled. "Dreamer isn't either. You are each unique and doing the best you can just like everyone else in the world. I'm so proud of you all."

"We had a pretty awesome childhood," I told him and he smiled wider. Now that I have my own child I realized how much those words would mean to a father. I knew I would make mistakes along the way but if Mariella had an awesome childhood I would feel like superman.

"The women are going shopping tomorrow, let's have a man's day," he suggested.

"I have someplace I need to go for about an hour, then I'm free all day."

He nodded and drank the last of his wine before standing and giving me a tight hug. "I love you, Dad," I said, and hugged him tightly back.

"It was nice to have a conversation in here that didn't involve punishing you," he laughed.

We each headed off to bed and for some reason having a man-to-man talk with my dad made me feel like a kid. I would never consider him my equal. He would always be my even tempered, mild mannered hero.

The next day the women headed to the mall and me, Trooper, Patrick, Jasper and dad took the boat out for a few hours and then stopped by The Driftwood in the afternoon. The place wasn't opened yet and we made drinks and sat around to talk.

"Did you hurt your hand?" Trooper asked me, seeing the bandage on my left hand.

"It's nothing," I said, and got up to look around the club. It hadn't been updated since the last time I saw it. I stood in the middle of the dance floor and closed my eyes. I imagined coming here to meet Jasmine. I could see it perfectly. The dance floor was covered in sand and nobody had on shoes. The tables were replaced with belly bars and iPad's were attached to order drinks.

I smiled when I imagined pulling her into my arms and dancing slowly as if we were on a beach or a big sandbox. When I finally opened my eyes I saw my father watching me. I moved on to his office, remembering all the debauchery I had partaken of in there. I came back to the main room to see the women had arrived.

Jasmine looked stunning with her new jeans and heels. Her hair was shiny and smooth and her makeup was flawless. She rushed over to kiss me and I saw her newly manicured hands. "I remember you," I teased.

"Does it bother you? I had to do it to make my mother happy," she groaned.

"If you like it you should always look like this. I just reserve the right to sell your panties if you get too prissy," I laughed.

She pretended to smack my chest and then said, "Um…are we really going to Kellan's?"

I felt awful to think she did this in order to show up Natalie. There was no competition and I didn't want people filling her head with stories to make her feel insecure. I didn't answer; instead I pulled her to my mouth and kissed her in a way to fill her with confidence.

"Budge, nobody wants to watch you getting busy," Dreamer said in disgust.

"You're just jealous because Patrick isn't stepping up enough," I said back to her, causing Patrick to lean her back in his arms and kiss her as she fought to get out of his grasp.

For some reason mom saw our teasing as a challenge and ran at dad to jump into his arms. He was caught off balance and fell into a chair, sending it tipping backward and flipping mom right over his head. She did a complete rotation and landed with a thud onto her ass.

We all ran to her in shock, just certain she had broken her tailbone or at least bruised her pride. She let us help her up and then looked at me as she pulled her arm from my hold. "We're both American's so it is difficult for us."

I was confused by her words, because usually America had a pretty decent gymnastic team. Dad was still lying on the ground with the broken chair underneath him. "Are you okay?" Trooper asked him.

"I'm really getting sick of this club," he complained, as he continued to remain on the floor.

Jasmine took hold of my hand and I gasped from pain and pulled it away. She looked at the bandage and then back up at me. "What happened?"

I nodded for her to follow me outside and then pulled off the gauze wrapping. I held up my hand to show her the ring I had tattooed with her name around my finger. "If you want a traditional ring I understand, but I would never be able to keep track of a ring so I did this."

She held my hand as she leaned over to inspect the work. I remembered when I was adamant about not being marked by a girl, now I was willingly marking myself with her name forever. I had a big smile when she looked up at me in tears. "Budge, don't let my parents force you into stuff you don't want to do."

I laughed, because her parents didn't force me into anything, it was Dyno who pricked my conscience. I would tattoo her entire face on my back if it didn't hurt so badly. I grew serious and said, "Jasmine, this was my idea to show the world I belong to you. I'm not saying you have to wear a ring….I just…"

"Budge, I don't want a ring, I want a tattoo like yours. This means so much more than a diamond," she said, proving just how much she had changed too. I was kissing her aggressively when people began coming out of the club.

We all left dad to open for the evening and I got directions to Kellan's house so we could drop in on him. We pulled up to a small older home. The grass was long and yard hadn't been trimmed. An old car was parked in the driveway and the screen door was hanging unevenly on its hinges.

I knocked and heard someone coming to the door. I really wanted it to be Kellan and not Natalie. The door opened and I saw my friend rubbing his tired eyes. "You owe me money," I said.

He looked closer and then a smile broke out on his face. We hugged each other in a manly way and he invited us inside. "I was asleep," he said and ran his fingers through his hair. "I worked Christmas for the extra money."

"Where do you work?" I asked him.

"The docks; I run a forklift loading boats."

We sat on his old ratty sofa and looked around the sparsely decorated living room. I finally said, "Oh, this is my wife, Jasmine. And I have a daughter named Mariella, she's two months old."

"Jasmine?" he asked, "Is this prissy pussy?"

I laughed uncomfortably and Jasmine pushed me harshly before extending her hand to Kellan. "Yes, in the flesh," she admitted.

I was waiting for him to tell me about his wife and if he had any children, but he began talking about people from school. "Remember Perry?" he asked. I nodded so he added, "She's teaching English at the high school, and remember Lance? He's a total junkie now."

I decided to get it over with and said, "How's Natalie? Do you guys have any kids?"

He sat back in the old recliner and placed his hand over his mouth as he stared at me. I realized he thought I was coming back to mess up his marriage. I couldn't blame him, if I hadn't fallen in love with Jasmine I would have easily hooked up with his wife without considering his feelings. I looked into his eyes and said, "Hey man, I'm just asking to catch up on your life. I love my wife and I'm totally faithful."

He looked at Jasmine and she smiled widely. "I've stabbed him before, he wouldn't dare cheat."

We all laughed and I heard a car pull into the garage. The back door opened and a small child walked in and Natalie was behind him holding a baby. She had on a large dress flowing over her heavy body. If I didn't know who she was I never would have recognized her.

"Budge?" she gasped.

"Hi Natalie," I replied and tried to smile. I attempted to keep all thoughts of her size out of my head but one thing kept playing over and over…._damn you're big_.

She handed Kellan the baby and came over to offer me a big hug. Her body was squishy against me and nothing felt familiar about her. She moved to Jasmine and hugged her as she introduced herself. She took the baby back and Jasmine asked if she could hold it.

"His name is Flint," Natalie said, and handed the baby to Jasmine. Her eyes looked around the small barren house and she said, "Oh my, you must think we are indigent. Did you explain Kellan?"

"They just arrived," my buddy said.

"We're saving every penny we get to purchase our own port. Kellan thinks we can bring in the smaller ships with faster loading and unloading times. We are living this way to make our dream come true faster."

"That's very commendable," Jasmine said. "Budge and I know exactly what it is like. We built an Alpaca fiber plant in Bolivia."

"How interesting," Natalie said with a smile.

I wasn't sure what to think. Maybe Natalie had grown up and not just out. Maybe she fell in love with Kellan and she was faithful too. The women talked about babies as Kellan and I talked about business. I was interested in his port idea since I could import my own fiber.

It grew dark and I suggested we all meet at my dad's club. I offered to pay for a sitter and drinks so they could enjoy a night out. We walked to our car and made plans to meet in an hour. I gave Kellan a hug and laughed when he ran off after his son who had escaped from the house. I opened Jasmine's door and felt someone pinch my ass. I spun around to see Natalie smiling at me.

"See ya in an hour," she said, and then pulled up one side of her swollen face and winked at me.

I stood there like a zombie, unable to believe what I had gotten myself into. My body shuddered from head to toe. I got back in the car, planning to forget about the evening, but Jasmine smiled and said, "I can hardly wait to go out. We haven't been out in….years."

I started the car and wanted to kick myself for not staying in Bolivia.


	28. Chapter 28

Jasmine insisted we stop by a walk-in barber and get my hair evened out. I had them leave it long and used gel to keep it back off my face. We checked on Mariella who was sleeping soundly for Grandma Swan and then drove to the club.

I was a bit sick to my stomach at the possibility of having a confrontation with Natalie. I didn't want to hurt my buddy, but her butty was not getting anywhere near mine. We got a table and I looked at Jasmine. She was bouncing with excitement and I felt like a fool again for not taking her on simple dates. I couldn't blame myself for not thinking of it sooner, I had never been on a date before meeting her.

She smiled at me and my heart began to race. "You are so beautiful," I told her, unable to control my hand from touching her lips softly.

"I feel like something is coming," she said with a big grin. "You know how you feel on Christmas Eve as a child?"

I nodded and heard Kellan call out my name. We both turned to see them coming toward us. Natalie had her hair curled and teased until she looked like a cast member of Hairspray. She was wearing tight jeans and a t-shirt tucked in. Her massive chest jiggled as she zeroed in on me and I felt terrified.

Kellan slid into the booth first, placing him across from Jasmine. Natalie scooted in next, letting her breasts rest on the table top in order to fit. She smiled at me and I jumped up from my seat and announced I would get us all drinks and some nachos. I figured if I got her some food she would stop devouring me with her eyes.

I leaned against the bar and placed our order. I could see Jasmine talking to Kellan, but Natalie continued to watch me. I felt like I had a tsunami heading right for me and I couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

I downed my drink right at the bar and then ordered another one. When the food arrived I carried the tray back to the table and put the nachos right in front of Natalie. I only sat for a second when she reached out for my hand and said, "Let's dance."

I was just about to protest when she turned to Kellan and said, "Honey, dance with Jasmine but don't enjoy it too much because remember you are mine." Oh she was a real pro!

We all walked to the dance floor and I looked up at the DJ and tried to mentally will him to change to a fast beat, but the slow song continued to play. Natalie pulled me into her arms and held me so tightly I could barely breathe. "Put your hands on my ass," she instructed, as if she was still my instructor. "I have lots to play with now."

"I don't really play anymore," I said as I tried to inhale fully.

"I know you've never had a big woman, Budge. I can promise it is the best ever." She gave me a squeeze that almost brought my drink back up. "I'm happier than I've ever been and I know how to make it all about the man now. I'm telling you big women are all fun."

"I'm married," I said, forgetting to point out she was too.

"Oh, I love Kellan," she said adamantly, "I just want to show you something new. I could rock your world in a way you've never experienced."

It was exactly what I was afraid of. She was wild before, but now she could actually bring the roof down on top of us. I stretched my head as if someone was trying to speak to me and then pushed my way out of Natalie's grasp. "Coming," I yelled at nothing and then turned to say, "Excuse me, my dad wants to speak to me."

I rushed from the dance floor and headed down the hallway into dad's office for help. I expected to find him sitting at his desk, but the room was empty. I leaned my hands on his desk and took a deep breath. The door opened and I looked up to see Natalie smiling back at me.

"Good cover," she said and shut the door, blocking my escape.

She pulled her shirt from where it was tucked into her pants and then took it completely off her body. I raised my arms for protection, but it was too late. I had already seen what I never wanted to see. I didn't know bras came in a size that large. Her massive chest was outdone by her stomach sticking out even further than her boobs.

She reached for the button on her jeans and I cried out, "Oh God, NO."

Her arms raised high over her head and she wiggled seductively. I began having a stroke because my hands went numb and the ringing in my ears made her sound like she was growling. My mind saw everything in slow motion as her hips swung one way and her chest swung another. Then it all moved in the opposite direction to her voice that sounded like a deep, "Whaa, whaa, whaa."

"I'm dying," I cried, not sure if it was out loud or not. I didn't want to go this way. I wanted to be doing something original when my time came, not doing something every other man in the city had done.

I had to get her away from the door because I wasn't sure I was capable of screaming for help at the moment. I looked at the sofa I had used so many times and mentally noted to get dad a new one if Natalie broke it. I tried to smile, but I was shaking like crazy.

"Get on the sofa so I can show you a thing or two," I said, and then swallowed down the vomit in my throat.

She nodded but didn't move. She began removing her jeans, shimmying out of the stretch denim. I looked at dad's desk and saw a letter opener I wanted to use to gouge out my eyes. She had on a triangle of red silk the size of a scarf. She walked toward the sofa showing the material only covered her ass crack in the back. Her cheeks looked like two ten pound bags of potatoes. She stopped before getting onto the sofa and leaned with her hands on her knees to show me her ass.

"I'm so scared," I mumbled.

She laughed and said, "Have I ever steered you wrong? Come to mama, Budge."

It isn't wise for a girl to mention the dude's mom when she wants sex. I had a sexy mom, but I sure didn't want to come to her. Unless she was here this very moment to save me from what was sure to be a brutal attack.

Natalie finally lounged on the sofa, keeping one leg on the floor for balance as she held her own breasts and shook them at me. I felt she wanted to box my ears with them for all the bad things I had done over the years. I was twenty-eight years old and did the only thing I could think of. I ran.

I felt like I was running from the T-rex in Jurassic Park, certain it would overtake me and swallow me whole. I ran to the men's room and into a stall. Didn't the lawyer from the movie make the same mistake? I climbed onto the back of the toilet and sat with my feet on the lid as I curled into a ball and waited for the door to come crashing down.

I was there for half an hour before I felt safe enough to come out. I glanced down the hallway before making my way to huddle behind the bar. I looked up to see the bartender looking down at me. "Hey, can you see my wife?" I asked.

His mouth dropped open and he said, "You got married?"

I gave him the finger and then waddled like a duck to the other side of the bar and peeked to see if I could find Jasmine. I saw dad head to the stage so I sank back down to wait for the house lights to go dark and the stage lights to come on.

I wasn't listening to what he was saying, because I was planning my get-a-way. The club went dark and I crawled back to the end of the bar to find my wife. I heard a singer begin with the song, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.

_Tonight you're mine completely._

_You give your love so sweetly. _

Her voice reminded me of Amy Winehouse. It had a jazzy, blues sound to it. I tried to see the stage but from the angle I was blocked from seeing the singer. I stayed low and moved to a pillar. I leaned against it, watching out for any sign of Natalie.

_Tonight the light of love is in your eyes_

_Will you still love me tomorrow?_

My head peeked around the corner of the pillar and I felt my eyes were playing a trick on me. I saw Jasmine on the stage singing to the simple melody my father was playing on the guitar. I never heard her sing before and had no idea she was so good at it. I knew she couldn't see me in the darkness but she appeared to be staring right at me.

_Is this a lasting treasure,  
>Or just a moment's pleasure,<br>Can I believe the magic of your sighs,  
>Will you still love me tomorrow?<em>

I saw her wipe a tear and I moved closer to the side of the stage. I was listening to her words as if she was speaking them directly to me. I no longer worried about running into Natalie, but I was worried sick about my relationship with Jasmine.

_Tonight with words unspoken,  
>You said that I'm the only one,<br>But will my heart be broken,  
>When the night, <em>

_Meets the morning sun._

I walked up the steps and she looked over at me. I shook my head softly, trying to tell her I would never break her heart, but her tears only fell faster. I walked up to where she was singing as she finished the song.

_I'd like to know that your love,  
>Is love I can be sure of,<br>So tell me now and I won't ask again,  
>Will you still love me tomorrow?<br>_

I pulled her into my arms to kiss her as she cried and the club cheered. I pulled back and held her face in my hands. She looked at me with so much pain and said, "Budge, I came looking for you in your dad's office, did you cheat on me?"

"No, I ran and hid in the men's room like a pussy," I told her… and the entire club. She smiled and I added, "I only like transvestites remember?" I wanted to see her happy, but I should have considered the implications of announcing a private joke in front of a crowd.

She laughed loudly and said, "You stayed faithful to my dick?"

"I only want your dick for the rest of my life. I love your dick."

"Kids," dad said to interrupt our sweet declarations of love.

Jasmine took off her headset and handed it to my father before we walked from the stage arm in arm. I wanted to take her home and show her how much I do love her, but as I led her toward the door she pulled back and walked toward our table. She picked up the platter of nachos and smashed them right into Natalie's face.

"Keep your clothes on you slutty cow," Jasmine yelled loudly.

"I didn't know he was into guys," Natalie screamed back, without mentioning the fact her husband was sitting right next to her.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a young man smiling at me. "My names Darrel," he said shyly.

"Oh shit," I said, and grabbed onto Jasmine. She spun around to confront the guy hitting on me.

"I have stabbed men before," she threatened, leaving out the part about it being me she stabbed. Darrel backed off and Jasmine took hold of my hand and pulled me from the club.

This was the exact reason I never dated, it was dangerous and not worth the drama. Couples should just stay home and have sex and the world would be a much better place.


	29. Chapter 29

29

I was a bit thrown by Jasmine's talent. She never talked about singing and I wondered if it was something that came naturally or if she had any formal training. I was eating breakfast with Dyno the next morning and decided to get some advice.

"If someone is a great singer, should you encourage them to sing?"

"If they enjoyed it you wouldn't have to encourage them," he said between bites of Fruity Pebbles.

"What if they don't know how good they are?" I asked him.

He shrugged and said, "Then asked them to sing for you and tell them."

"You're not really a kid are you?" I accused. "You're a small person living with my sister and trying to pass as a kid."

He put his spoon down and looked at me like I was insane before holding up his hand and saying, "I'm five years old."

I leaned back and looked at him suspiciously before asking, "Then why are you so wise?"

He giggled like a kid and said, "Why are you so dumb?"

Dreamer walked into the room and came over to kiss Dyno's head. "Your kids a freak," I told her openly and then winked at Dyno.

"Uncle Budge is just mad because he doesn't know answers to hard questions," Dyno teased back.

"Uncle Budge doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground," Dreamer said as she poured her own bowl of Fruity Pebbles. She smiled at me and then took a bite.

"When do you leave?" I asked her, not wanting this family time to end.

"We're meeting with an architect today. Daddy said we could build on his land, so I may stay for a bit." I nodded and then she added more for me to think about. "Trooper and Emma are looking at homes today in Seattle."

"Wow," I mumbled and felt left out of all the new plans everyone was coming up with. I was thinking about what it would feel like to return to Bolivia when I noticed Dreamer watching me closely. "What?" I asked her.

"Daddy really wants to retire, but he is having a hard time letting go," she said as if saying something else.

"Put mom to work on him, she'll get it figured out," I offered as advice.

"Mom wants him to continue singing and to feel like he is still involved in it. She is afraid he will become bored if he retires."

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked, growing tired of her inference that I couldn't catch onto.

"Budge," she said with exasperation. "Who has the energy and the ability to remake the club into something fresh and exciting? Who thinks outside the box and builds businesses like they were the simplest things in the world? Who has no fear and brass balls?"

I looked at Dyno and he laughed as he pointed his small chubby finger at me. "Me?" I gasped, and looked back at Dreamer.

"God, you really are an idiot," she said, causing Dyno to laugh loudly.

"No, dad would never want me to take over the club. He would want it to be Trooper. He wouldn't let me take over anything important to him," I said with emphasis.

"He said you already have ideas in your head," she said to totally surprise me.

"Yeah, but…." I really didn't have a but; I mean I have a butt, a dang nice one too. But I didn't have a but to my objection.

I wasn't sure what to think and I needed to talk about it right this second. I left the table and headed up the stairs. I heard Jasmine up with Mariella but I passed our door and went right to my parent's room. I knocked and then opened the door to see dad spread eagle on the bed with mom lying sideways over the top of him.

I knelt next to the side he was facing and pulled on his pillow. "Do what you want, Bella, but I'm sleeping through it," dad mumbled.

"Dad," I called out to him in a loud whisper. He opened one eye to see me looking at him and groaned loudly. "Are the cops here?"

"No, why would the cops be here?" I asked in my regular voice.

"Because you are waking me up and it isn't Sunday, so something better be wrong," he said with a harsh tone.

"Do you really want me to take over the club, because I think Dreamer is just messing with me, or you're possibly sick and don't want us to know? Is that why you divided up the money, are you dying?"

Mom's eyes shot open and she sat up, grinding dad's lower back into the mattress causing him to cry out. "You told me you weren't dying," she said in hysterics. "Take the money back and stay alive, Edward!"

"I'm not dying," he said forcefully, and rolled over so mom would fall from his spine. "Budge, what do you want?"

I tried to think about his question. What did I want? I liked the idea of my father having faith in me, but could I run a club without going insane? I worried I would feel trapped and want to move on. But it would give Jasmine a place to develop her talent and Mariella would be close to her cousins.

"I think I want to take over the club," I said in a less than convincing manner.

"Okay, think so more until I wake up," dad suggested, and closed his eyes again.

Mom jumped off the bed and grabbed me by the hand. She pulled me to her bathroom and then let go of my hand as she rushed in and pulled up her nightgown to sit on the toilet. "I think you would be perfect for the club."

"Mom, you're pissing right in front of me," I complained, and turned my back.

"I changed your diaper for years, it won't hurt you to hear a little tinkle," she said, and then continued to talk about the club as she urinated. I couldn't walk away because I did wet the bed until I was eight, so she honestly had a point.

I waited until the toilet flushed and the sink turned on before turning back to look at her. I had to address an issue I knew everyone would be thinking and nobody would dare point out. "Mom, there are a lot of young girls who come into the club."

"See, it's perfect. You have tons and tons of experiences with what young women want….Oh, um yeah, maybe you shouldn't take over the club because you know what young women want."

"I would never cheat on Jasmine," I said with conviction. "But how did dad deal with girls coming on to him all the time?"

Dad jumped up out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. He took hold of my arm and said, "Okay, I'm awake, let's go into my office."

"I'm calling the exterminator," mom yelled, as she headed right for the bucket of chocolate chips.

Dad sat behind his desk and rubbed his eyes as he tried to bring himself to focus on our conversation so early in the morning. "Budge, your brother is too soft hearted for this job. He would end up sending all my regulars to AA meetings and locking up the condom machines in the bathrooms."

"You have condom machines in the bathrooms?" I asked, because I never noticed them before and it would have saved me a lot of wheeling and dealing.

"God, I'm so happy you are raised and no longer legally my responsibility," he said with a shake of his head.

"And I'm the one you want to take over your club?" I questioned, to show him the absurdity of it all.

"You would be perfect," he smiled. "You don't sit back and watch things happen; you dig in and work hard to make things happen. You have the creativity to see possibilities others can't. I saw you at the club son, the way you closed your eyes and pictured it in your mind. You have good instincts and that is much better than a business degree."

"I don't have a business degree," I agreed, "Do I?"

"No, you don't," he informed me. "The girls aren't the only problem. I've been robbed a few times; please don't tell your mother." Now I was downright flabbergasted. I never imagined my dad would be in danger from his job. He saw my reaction and said, "I leave in the middle of the night and people know I'll have a bank deposit on me. I'm insured and I never resist."

"How many times?" I asked him, because he made it sound like a common occurrence.

"A few, the police usually caught the person right away. But I've been doing this for over thirty years."

I nodded and then thought it over for a moment. I knew I needed to hear what Jasmine thought before I made any agreement with my father. I finally said, "Let me think it over and talk with Jasmine."

"Budge," he said, and leaned closer for affect, "If you don't want to do this I understand. I want you to do whatever will make you happy."

I got up and came around to hug him. "When have I ever done anything that didn't make me happy?"

He patted my back and when we broke apart he said, "Jasmine has quite the voice, doesn't she?"

"It sure shocked the hell out of me," I admitted. "Does something like that just happen, or has she been trained?"

He laughed and walked with me to the door before saying, "Budge, she was the lead in every school musical, don't you remember the flyers Alice sent us?"

I had to admit I didn't. If I saw anything with Jasmine's name on it I would automatically turn my attention off. I wished I would have appreciated her more in the past, but I'm sure there was a side of Jasmine her parents didn't know and I did. It put a smile on my face and I went upstairs to find her.

She had finished feeding Mariella and was dressing her for the day when I came up and hugged her from behind. I leaned over her back and looked down at our daughter. Her large dark eyes looked at me and a big smile broke out on her face.

"Oh my God," I yelled, and pushed Jasmine out of the way. "Did you see that, she smiled at me, not in my general direction but right at me?"

"Of course she did," Jasmine laughed. "She knows a handsome man when she sees one." She moved back to her spot and continued dressing the baby.

I sat on the bed and watched them before saying, "Dad wants me to take over his club." She glanced up at me quickly and then looked back at her task of dressing a squirming baby. I waited for her to say something but she remained quiet. I finally added, "I want to know what you think."

She leaned over and kissed Mariella's cheek and then picked her up off the bed. I noticed they had on matching colors and each dressed in something new. I didn't know which Jasmine was the real one. Was she the girl totally happy in an old skirt, or was she the woman who needed manicures and facials?

She looked me in the eyes and said, "Budge, my view of the world is limited to the length of my arms. When I reach out I see you and Mariella, nothing else. If you want to live with the penguins in Antarctica I will bring a fur coat and be right there with you. If you want to run your father's club, I'll work on my boxing skills and be right there, too."

"Boxing skills?" I asked in confusion, hoping she didn't think I would make her work as the bouncer.

"Natalie is a big girl, and it will take a lot to knock her on her big ass."

I got up and hugged my two girls before saying, "If I do this, I want you to sing at the club. Remember all those musicals you were in?"

Her eyes lit up and she smiled widely before saying, "Ah Budge, you remembered. I would love to sing at the club."

It was low of me to score points by using dad's memories and not my own. But if I was taking over his club I could pilfer a few memories without too much guilt. I watched her walk to the doorway of our room and then turn to say, "Don't make any plans for tonight. I'm getting my tattoo and I think we should celebrate."

I was now hot and bothered and she was heading downstairs for breakfast. "I'm horny now, what am I supposed to do with this?" I called out to her.

"Jerk it back and forth," she yelled over her shoulder.

I laughed until my mom opened the door wider and looked at me with concern. "Don't play with your dangler, Budge. Your nursery was yellow."


	30. Chapter 30

30

At the end of the week I had to fly to Bolivia to hire a manager for the ranch. We had decided to stay in Port Angeles but we always had the option to move on so I didn't feel stuck at all. Jasmine stayed behind at her parent's house since Dreamer was still with my folks and working on her dream home.

Emma was now to the point she was miserable and wishing the baby would come early. Trooper was meeting with contacts in Seattle just to stay out of her way as she waited with her parents for the baby to arrive.

I was filled with ideas for the club but when I mentioned renaming it, The Sandbox; mom said I would be disowned for using the word, box. I was now considering, The Beach. The club had been shut down as major renovations went on and I had to decide what to do about a house for my family.

It was then dad suggested we live with them for a bit so they could travel without worrying about the house. I was the kid who was told I could budge anytime I wanted, and I was right back in my childhood bedroom. At least I had a woman with me this time.

I was covered in soot and sweat as I worked at the club when I got a call saying Emma was in labor. I was glad I didn't have to deliver it and purposefully waited before heading to the hospital so I didn't end up accidentally doing it. I loved Emma….but there were things about her I didn't need to know.

I got there just in time to hear they had a boy and named him T.J. I had to explain to mom it stood for Trooper Junior because she kept pronouncing it, Tajay. Rose and mom were crying as Emmett and dad tried to be strong. When Trooper walked out with the baby in his arms even dad and Emmett cried.

Their child was beautiful because, well, come on, both Emma and Trooper were gorgeous. Mom felt T.J. was good looking because Emmett was his grandfather, but he looked nothing like Emmett. Everything was happening so quickly that the year passed in the blink of an eye.

Patrick got out of the Army as their house rose from the ground into being. I have to admit I was a bit psyched to live next to Dyno. It was almost as good as having access to Trooper. The club was no longer recognizable. I added a second level and expanded the back, but I was still struggling with a name.

I was working late one night putting on some finishing touches so we would be ready for the grand opening. I gathered up a bag of rags I used to polish everything and stepped out the back door and walked toward the dumpster.

A man came out of the darkness and something in his hand shimmered from the street light. I froze as my mind realized it was a gun. The man was extremely thin and his movements were fidgety and nervous. He was dirty and his hair was matted as was his beard.

I set the trash bag down next to my leg and held up my hands as I said, "Come on dude, we're not open yet and I only have Boliviano, currency from Bolivia, on me."

His eyes were darting around as he tried to decide what to do. I looked a bit closer at his face and tried to imagine it without the beard. "Lance Turner?" I asked.

"You know me?" he asked in shock.

"It's me, Budge Cullen," I said and let my hands fall. "I'll hire you if you want a job, but you have to get clean first."

"Natalie said you left the country," he stated, bringing disturbing images to my mind.

"Can you believe her?" I chuckled. "I wouldn't recognize her even if she was on her back and holding a magnifying glass up to her clitoris."

He laughed and something happened. I don't know if he panicked because I recognized him, or if he was only jumpy and accidentally pulled the trigger, but something hit me right in the chest and knocked me backward. I was staring up at the night sky as I struggled to breathe. I could only take short, quick gasps of air. Lance ran off and I mentally made a note to have Natalie squish the hell out of him.

I managed to pull my phone from my pocket and called the one person I knew would do everything he could to help me. "Troop….i'm…..shot."

The phone fell from my hand as I went back to the shallow panting. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on Jasmine and Mariella. I wasn't fully aware of anything going on around me. I could hear sirens, the sound of metal clanging, the weird hum of what sounded like an electric sign, but I couldn't hear any voices or anything that connected to me.

I began looking for the light I expected to see if I died. Shouldn't there be a light that I'm supposed to head into? And where was my life that should be flashing across my mind? I had a pretty interesting life and a recap would be entertaining. Maybe I wasn't headed to the next realm and would remain here.

Oh God, please don't tell me I'm going to be stuck haunting the club for eternity because heaven wouldn't take me. Then I wondered just how awful that scenario would be. I could touch whatever I wanted to touch and nobody would know. With my luck the club would be abandoned and I would be stuck here touching nothing.

I could feel my mind beginning to slow down and everything started to narrow, like a tunnel. I thought this was the end and my light would simply extinguish. It was then I heard it, a soft, clear whisper directly into my ear. It said, "Don't Budge."

I didn't know if it was telling me not to move, or telling me no…as in, don't do it. I stopped with my random thoughts and tried to focus on my heartbeat. I could hear it pumping blood in and out of my ears and I tried to make sure it remained steady.

The best way I can explain death is like a squiggle. Nothing makes sense and weird images enter your thoughts. I would allow myself to float as I rolled and tumbled with no direction or purpose. I would laugh at the strange colors and see glimpses of people I knew. I felt just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and hoped it didn't mean I had lost my penis and would spend death as a woman.

Suddenly everything stopped and there was nothing but silence. I was a bit worried to open my eyes. I didn't feel any oppressing heat or hear any tormented screams so I bravely blinked my eyes a couple of times. I heard the sound of someone snoring and turned my head to see Dad sleeping in a chair next to my hospital bed.

I tried to call out to him, but the pain in my chest kept my voice from projecting. Damn that Lance, and his addiction. I closed my eyes again and returned to the peaceful nothingness until I felt someone rub my cheek and call out my name.

I opened my eyes to see a nurse staring back at me. "Do you know who you are?" she asked me.

I swallowed and this time when I spoke you could actually hear my voice. "I'm the guy underneath you," I told her.

Someone else spoke and my eyes turned to the side to see dad smiling at me. "He's obviously fine," dad told the nurse.

"Where's Jasmine?" I asked him. I loved my dad and I appreciated his willingness to stay with me, but when you almost die you kind of want the person you love passionately to be the one you wake up to.

"She's on her way. She was here late and I'm sure she needed rest," he said, and reached out to move my hair back.

We could hear the sound of heels clicking on the tiles of the hospital coming toward my door. We all turned to look at the hallway and waited to see who emerged. Dreamer came into view and when she saw us her hand went to her mouth and tears filled her eyes. She ran into the room and rushed around my bed to pull dad into her arms. "Did you get any sleep?" she asked with concern.

"I was shot," I exclaimed loudly.

"Oh shut up," she said to me. "It isn't like we haven't all been expecting it."

I had to give her that one. I kind of expected it myself; I just thought it would be Jasmine doing the shooting. The next to arrive was mom. I wasn't sure what to expect. I could see her demanding I get out of bed and back to the club, but I could also see her trying to bury me alive.

She walked up to my bed and placed her hand on my cheek. I smiled, feeling so much love for such an incredible mother. I said, "Mom, I heard what you told me."

"What did you hear, dear?"

"You said, 'Don't budge,'" I said proudly.

Her brow furrowed and she said, "Honey, that was years ago, did you just now hear me?"

"No, I mean when I was in the emergency room. You told me not to budge," I insisted, because I knew I wasn't imagining it.

"This is the first time I've seen you, honey," she announced. "I wasn't in the emergency room."

I realized it must have been Jasmine, since dad said she had been there. Mom then said, "Did you eat your ice-cream?"

I laughed and said, "No, I'm not really hungry at the moment." Because the drugs were making me content just to lie there.

Mom smiled and said, "Can I have it? I'm low on chocolate chips."

"Sure," I said, and she ran off to find a nurse. I really expected her to be an emotional wreck, but mom rarely acted the way people expected.

Trooper arrived next and told me Jasmine was talking with a nurse and would be right in. He leaned over the bed and kissed my forehead. I suddenly remembered he was the one I had called so I looked into his eyes and said, "Thank you, Trooper. You are always there when I need you."

He nodded emotionally and the asked, "How are you doing?"

"I've been stabbed and shot, so I must have nine lives or something," I joked, but both Trooper and dad gave me a look to tell me it wasn't something to laugh about. Dreamer nodded as if in total agreement with me. I finally got serious and said, "It was Lance Turner, but I don't think he meant to do it."

Trooper nodded and said, "He turned himself in this morning."

"Ah man, tell him I'm not pissed or anything. He doesn't need to be charged."

"Yes, he does," dad insisted, "He won't receive the help he needs unless he is made accountable for his actions."

We heard a noise and turned to look at the doorway. Jasmine was standing there; her long, dark hair was around her shoulders and her blue eyes were blurred by tears. She had on shorts and a simple t-shirt which hugged her body tightly. I never realized just how tiny she was because her presence was always so large. Just looking at her made my heart swell and I wanted Lance to be hung for almost separating me from her love.

She walked toward me slowly as her eye bore into mine. I couldn't speak, mesmerized by her stare and overwhelmed by my love for her. When she reached my side my arms rose, ignoring the searing pain in my chest and pulled her to me. We both sobbed loudly so dad, Dreamer and Trooper left the room to give us some privacy.

"I heard you speak to me in the emergency room. It gave me the strength to keep fighting," I said through my tears.

She pulled back and looked at me with an odd expression. "I wasn't allowed in the emergency room," she announced.

I had two thoughts run through my mind, each equally disturbing. One, an angel spoke to me and I was closer to death than I thought, meaning God didn't want me messing with his righteous cherubs. Or two, Natalie was in the emergency room and having one last hooray with my unintentional death boner.

My entire body shivered and I moved my hand to see if I indeed still had a package to worry about.


	31. Chapter 31

31

I spent the day visiting with everyone who came to see me. It was like having a party in my room. I refused more pain meds so I could talk with everyone. I didn't want to miss a moment since I came so close to missing everything.

When everyone left for lunch Emmett arrived in his uniform. I was a bit surprised since nothing happened in Forks so it was out of his jurisdiction. He pulled a chair next to my bed and spoke in a soft voice. "Budge, it is very important to tell the truth in a crime investigation."

I wasn't sure what he was talking about, I hadn't told anyone anything yet. I would admit I felt it was an accident, but I wasn't trying to cover up anything. I nodded and said, "Yeah, I'll tell the truth."

He looked at me for a moment hesitantly and then leaned closer to whisper, "Was it a lovers' quarrel?"

I had no idea how he found out about Jasmine stabbing me, but I wasn't going to let him blame her for shooting me, too. "Jasmine didn't do this, Lance Turner shot me," I tried to explain.

He moved even closer and said, "Budge, I know….what you are. I know the baby is adopted and Jasmine is being a real friend to help you keep this from your family, but we have to know the truth before it comes out in court."

My body turned ice cold. My mind was reeling as I felt a sense of panic that Mariella could be taken from me. "Everything is legal. We only fooled the town into believing the baby was Jasmine's, but the girl's parents were in on everything."

He shook his head as a look of frustration formed on his face. He thought for a second and then said, "I know about the other thing, the thing you told me years ago. I've never told a soul, I promise. But it is time to come out of the closet, Budge."

Oh my God, Emmett was an idiot and I suddenly worried about the people of Forks. I had done most of the available population in this county and even had a wet dream or two about his wife, but he still thought I was gay. I tried not to laugh…because it would hurt so badly. I looked him in the eyes and said, "Emmett, I didn't want to go to military school, so I lied to you."

He gave me a pity smile and said, "Budge, I saw you at Moby Dick's, I'm not stupid."

I had forgotten all about that and I felt the need to thank him for such a prosperous evening. I smiled and said, "I picked up a straight girl hanging with her buds and performed the standing screw feat. I can assure you I wasn't bent over or bending any dude over. I'm not gay."

"I'm not judging you," he started, but I quickly interrupted him.

"Emmett, I admit I spent my teen years acting like a dog in heat, but I have never, ever, ever, been with a guy. Mariella is adopted because Jasmine can't have a baby."

His eyes darted back and forth for a few seconds and then he looked at me in total shock. "So, you really married Jasmine, like out of love?"

I really should have been offended, but come on, I spent the majority of my life hating her, and I could see why he would have some confusion. "She is the only thing I have worth living for," I told him truthfully.

Mom came into my room at that time with a container of ice-cream. She looked at Emmett for a second like she was struggling with some huge moral dilemma. She finally held out the spoon to him and asked, "Do you want a bite?"

"No, I've got to get back to work. Take care of yourself, Budge," he said and quickly left.

Mom sat on my bed and watched him walk away. "Isn't he the kindest man you've ever known?"

"He's one of the stupidest," I teased, and her eyes flew over to mine and I could see the anger rising in her.

"That is a terrible thing to say Budge, Grandpa Cullen is the stupidest, not Emmett."

"He thought I was gay," I said to explain.

Her eyes grew wider and she smacked my arm without concern for my possible pain. "Did you try to hit on him?"

"No," I said loudly. "He asked if Lance and I had a lovers' quarrel."

At that moment Trooper knocked on my door and said, "Budge, I have a special visitor." When you have the sexual history I have it isn't a comforting thing to receive surprise visitors.

He pulled a woman into the room dressed in hospital scrubs. Her head was down so I looked at her badge to see who it was. "Casey?" I gasped. Her head rose and she smiled shyly at me. "You're a nurse," I said as tears now filled my eyes.

"I found my dream," she said with pride.

Mom stood to give Casey a hug and then moved to the chair to continue on with her ice-cream. I reached out for Casey's hand and I held it tightly. "Are you my nurse?" I asked, not really uncomfortable with the idea of her removing my catheter.

"I was last night. I work in the emergency center," she announced. "You were in pretty bad shape."

I squeezed her hand and said, "You, it was you who said, 'Don't budge,' wasn't it?"

"You heard me?" she asked as her voice filled with emotion.

"I would have died, Casey. It gave me the strength to hang on. If you wouldn't have found your dream I would be dead. You're my angel." It was all a bit melodramatic and something I would expect to hear from Dreamer, but in this instance it was true.

"If you're an angel, tell God Carlisle is ready to leave the earth," mom blurted out with a mouth full of ice-cream.

Casey gave her an odd glance and then chuckled uncomfortably before looking back at me and saying, "I knew I would run into you someday in the emergency room, so I was ready."

Trooper laughed and mom nodded as she continued shoveling the spoon into her mouth. A doctor finally came into the room to discuss my injury. He told me the bullet broke an upper rib bone and then deflected back to the surface. A fragment of the bone punctured my lung and caused it to collapse. Surgery was performed to remove the bone fragments and to place a piece of metal where the rib was damaged. All in all I was pretty darn lucky for being shot at close range by a drugged out classmate.

I was going to spend at least two more nights in the hospital so I asked Jasmine to bring Mariella to see me. Her smiles would go a long way to healing me. Dreamer waited with me while Mom and Dad went home for the afternoon. I was watching the news when she decided to get all chatty.

"Budge, do you believe in God?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said, without taking my attention from the television.

"Why, what makes you believe?" she pushed.

"Because I've seen the beautiful creatures he's created," I laughed.

She reached out and pushed a button on the remote to turn off the television. I went to protest but her expression told me it would be no use. I wouldn't want the other patients who had been shot to hear her ear piercing screams, so I gave her my attention.

"I'm serious, do you think there is a heaven and we'll be together after we die?"

"Yeah, I do. I doubt mom will let Grandpa be there, but the rest of us are good."

"Good, we're not good," she said sadly. "Well, Trooper's good, but the rest of us are flawed."

I couldn't disagree with her there. If Trooper had a flaw I wasn't sure what it was. I finally said, "I think there are levels of good. I'm not sure anyone is completely bad, just a different level of good. Are you worried about Patrick and your kids, or mom and dad?"

She thought for a moment and then began playing with her fingernails as she spoke. "I see so much love in our family and so much acceptance of who we are. It isn't normal, Budge," she said and then looked up at me. "Rarely do couples love so completely like mom and dad. But look at us; we are totally in love with our spouses in a consuming way."

"Is it a bad thing?" I asked her, not understanding her point.

"No, I'm noting saying that," she said in exasperation. "I'm saying I think our ability to love makes up for some of the other stuff, like you being a manwhore and me being crazy."

"You're not crazy," I said emphatically.

She laughed and tossed her hair back. "It gives me absolutely no comfort to hear that from you."

I thought for a moment and smiled as a vision came into my mind of a heart mom used to draw on the driveway with chalk. "Dreamer, I think our family makes a heart. Mom and I are the mounds across the top, you are the v at the bottom, and dad and Trooper are the straight sides holding us together."

Dreamer smiled and said, "I like that. I know I don't tell you enough, but I love you, Budge."

"Oh my God," I gasped. "I'm dead and imagining things. Dreamer admitted she loved me."

"Well, it's over now," she said, and stood to leave just as Jasmine entered the room with our daughter.

Mariella was dressed in a pink outfit that said, Daddy's Girl. I kissed her several times when Jasmine leaned her over the bed. "I'll see you later," Dreamer said.

"Hey, sis," I called out, and waited for her to turn around. "I love you, too. And you really turned out hot."

"Don't act so surprised," she said as her eyes narrowed.

"Are you kidding, I'm stunned," I laughed.

She flipped me off before walking out of the room. I really did love my sister, but I wasn't ready for our relationship to get all adult like so soon. I cherished my role as the one who tormented her, and I loved that she was the one to push all my buttons.

I pressed the switch to raise me to a sitting position and held out my good arm to hold my daughter. She immediately reached for my I.V. so Jasmine had to pull her back. "Daddy has an owie, don't touch," jasmine said.

"It's okay, she can rip it out and I wouldn't care," I said honestly, because she did more to heal me than any medication could.

Jasmine returned her to my arms and I smiled at her face. "Hi pumpkin, I missed you," I said and kissed her soft curls.

She said a few indiscernible words and we both laughed. "Your mom thinks she speaks Alpaca," Jasmine teased.

"I'm just happy mom can't understand her," I said, because mom had a tendency to understand things other people couldn't.

We sat silently for a few moments, just enjoying being together as a family. I could tell there was something Jasmine wanted to say, but she was holding back. I took her hand in mine and waited for her to spit it out.

"Budge, maybe we shouldn't open the club," she said hesitantly.

"You want to go back to Bolivia?" I asked.

"If it would keep you safe, yeah I would."

I tried to think through her words to see if I was missing something. I finally said, "Honey, I'll do whatever makes you happy, but I have to know if it is only the danger that makes you want to leave or is there more?"

"I don't think I can wait for you to come home and worry if you'll make it. I don't want to fall asleep and fear you are bleeding in the parking lot and I don't know it. I have no idea how your mom and my mom did it all these years."

I realized then why dad wanted to keep it quiet. Mom would have handcuffed him to the bed if she knew he had been robbed several times and Dreamer would have become the next Dirty Harry. I said, "If there was a solution would you still want to go back to Bolivia?"

"What kind of solution?" she asked.

"If I had an armored service pick up the deposit, or maybe hired a body guard?" I suggested.

"Would a bodyguard keep women away from you?" she asked, and now I knew her hesitation. I didn't think she found me untrustworthy; she just didn't want to worry about it.

"I would have to pay him extra," I teased.

"I'll give up my manicures," she offered, "Pay the man whatever he asks."

We spent the evening together and I finally had so much pain I had to take some medication. I drifted off the sleep to the sound of my wife singing softly to me. I woke up the next morning to a much different sound.

I opened my eyes and felt adrenaline shoot through my body as the large chest of Natalie was right in my face.

"You poor baby," she said, and just like when I was seven and put tadpoles in the washer without knowing mom was going to be doing wash that day, I cried.


	32. Chapter 32

32

There was a time in my life when waking up to large boobies would have been desirable, even a fantasy come true. I was too injured to move away from the bulging mounds of joy. I had to stare back at them, as if they were eyes watching me.

"How can I make you feel better?" she asked in an inappropriate manner.

Removing her nipple eyes would be a good start, but I would also settle for hitting me over the head to make me unconscious as a suitable solution. I was afraid to speak, thinking if my mouth opened she would shove something into it.

I tried to speak as a ventriloquist and said, "I'm fine."

Her bosom came closer causing my eyes to cross and finally pressed against my face as she hugged my head. Lucky, my nose was strategically placed in her cleavage where there was an air pocket so I didn't suffocate. "I can't believe you almost died. What would the world be like without Budge Q. Cullen in it?"

Well, I know one difference…people who knew me or crossed my path in any way would have more money if I wasn't in the world. As it was now, I had most of their money. I didn't speak, since I wasn't sure how close her cleavage was to her nipples.

She shook me back and forth in her arms, whacking me with her two breasts which were obviously not being held at attention by a bra.

"Ow, ow, ow," I cried out, from the stretching of my surgical scar.

She finally let me go and I fell back onto my pillow. I looked at her in horror and she giggled as she walked to my door and then locked it. I noticed she was wearing a skirt and I broke out in a sweat. I spoke silently to my penis, telling it if it responded to her in any way I would have it surgically removed.

"Natalie," I warned. "My doctor is on his way to see me."

"It will only take a moment," she said, like it would be something guys wanted to hear.

"My body is in a lot of pain," I added, feeling like I wanted to cry again. My hand moved to my threatened dangler and I was happy to feel it was lying like a useless worm.

"And I'm going to make it feel so much better," she said as she turned off the lights.

My heart was beating quickly and almost jumped from my sore chest when I felt my damn dangler twinge. I actually flicked it harshly hoping it would take my admonition seriously. I had heard many people accuse me of thinking with my penis, but the truth was my penis had absolutely no brain power at all.

She raised her skirt and the word, _Ew,_ screamed in my mind and I had to look away. It was just what I needed to shock my brainless dick into submission because it sucked up into my stomach several inches. I was whimpering incoherently as she tried to climb onto the bed, which actually meant she was climbing onto me. Right at that moment someone tried to open the door. Natalie froze and I yelled out, "Come in."

"It's locked," mom said back to me.

Oh God, it was mom, the only thing worse than having Natalie sitting on my whang was having mom show up to see Natalie wanting to sit on my whang. I didn't know what to do, should I insist Natalie open the door or tell her to get onto the bed and kill me now? She sighed loudly and pulled her skirt back into place before walking over to open the door.

Mom smiled at her and asked, "How's he doing today?"

"Great," Natalie said, and mom walked over to give me a kiss.

"Sweetheart, you're shaking," she said, and began pulling up my covers tighter.

I realized mom had no idea who Natalie was and I had to find a way to keep it like that. I began talking to her about the doctor coming to visit and possibly getting released. I knew I was babbling but I was talking for my life.

"Budge, don't be in such a hurry. What if the metal isn't stable and your heart falls out? And it isn't true what most people say about you. I know you do too have a heart."

"He's got a huge heart," Natalie agreed, and then added, "Among other things."

I felt myself go pale and a bit light headed. Mom looked at me and smiled, "Honey, she's a nurse so she's allowed to look at your dangler. Plus she has seen many, so it is a big compliment."

Natalie had definitely seen plenty, but not as a nurse. She decided to clue mom in on who she was by saying, "I knew Budge as a boy and I turned him into a man."

Mom looked at her in confusion and repeated, "You knew a man and boy who could budge as he turned?"

"What?" Natalie asked.

"What, what?" Mom asked her back.

After a few tense seconds of silence Natalie shook her head and cleared her throat. "I'm Kellan's wife, Natalie," she said, putting a stop to the possibility of this ending peacefully.

Mom's head tilted to the side and she finally put up both hands to partially block her view of the woman standing in front of her. After seeing just a slice of the new robust Natalie she gasped loudly and spun around to glare at me.

"Mom, I've been shot," I said to remind her of my injuries and hopefully get a little sympathy.

"She better be here to eat you," mom screamed, and I wasn't quite sure how to answer her about that. I cringed and hesitated leaving an opening for mom to continue. "How could you do this to me, Budge? I almost lost my son and I'm out of chocolate chips. The south is now part of us, so why would you cause problems?"

"I didn't do anything," I said angrily. "I'm the victim here, you should be protecting me."

The moment it escaped my lips I knew it was the wrong thing to say. Mom was fiercely protective of her children and I found that out when Grandma Swan's neighbor accused me of tying a firecracker to her garden gnome and threatened to tie one to a very delicate spot on me.

Mom turned to look at Natalie and I saw her hands pull into fists. Natalie was smart enough to see mom was out of her mind with anger and began backing up. Mom reached for the box of sterile gloves telling me she did intend on touching Natalie, most likely in a place many people have touched her.

The door opened and a nurse walked in, giving Natalie a way to escape without taking time to open the door. She ran as fast as she could and mom's retreat was blocked by the real nurse. "Is everything okay?" the nurse asked us as she looked around the room in confusion.

"You need to hire exterminators, a huge rat was in my son's room," mom said, and then calmly sat down to watch the woman check my wound.

She told me when the doctor came they would remove the catheter and get me up to walk to keep my lungs clear. I nodded and hoped the nurse who would have the pleasure of removing the hose was at least a little hot. If I was going to experience pain, at least it could be a pretty face causing the pain.

She was asking about things like eating and passing gas when an officer knocked on my door and poked his head in. It wasn't a cop from Forks so I knew he was here to interview me about Lance. I waved him in and the nurse left. I introduced my mother and the officer smiled and removed his hat.

"I want to tell you Mr. Turner confessed to the shooting, we just need to corroborate his story."

"Yeah, I think it was an accident. I mean, we were just chatting and the gun went off," I said cheerfully.

"Did he ask you for money?"

I thought about it and then said, "No, I just assumed it was what he wanted so I told him I didn't have any U.S. currency on me."

"Why did you assume that?" he pushed.

"Because my old man told me he had been robbed several times," I said, and then realized my mother was in the room.

Her face took on a strange stare and she mumbled, "Why would daddy say his name was old Rob several times?"

I gave her a minute to work out the sentence correctly and watched as her eyes turned to look at me. I knew dad was going to be pissed at me but I had taken a bullet, he never had. She stood and said, "Excuse me."

"Mom, stay here," I called out, but she wouldn't listen and continued out the door. I reached for the phone and cried out in pain. I looked at the officer and said, "Can you hand me the phone and dial a number for me?"

He did as I asked and I waited for dad to answer. "Mom's on her way home, she knows you've been robbed before."

"How did she find out?" he asked angrily.

"Um….an officer is here in my room. He told her," I lied, realizing I was putting the blame on a guy with a weapon. The man looked at me with disappointment, but I was used to that look so it didn't faze me. I handed him the phone to hang it up and he shook his head before continuing on.

"So, what were you chatting about with Mr. Turner?" he pushed.

I had to think back again and the shrugged, "I told him I would hire him if he got clean."

"You didn't say anything disrespectful about his woman?"

"No," I laughed, "I don't even know who he's…..oh God."

Of course he would be messing with Natalie. I was the one who got them together in the first place. He had a full-bodied woman doing his emaciated ass and the thought made me moan in disgust. I was so stupid I dissed the only woman in the entire state willing to give a drug addict what he wanted without payment.

"I guess I did," I finally admitted. "Are you going to let him go?"

The officer smiled and said, "It was still illegal for him to shoot you."

I was glad he didn't know about Jasmine stabbing me, but maybe it isn't illegal in Guatemala. I hated the idea of Lance being put away because I teased him about Natalie, but if it got him off the drugs I would accept responsibility. I went over a few more details with the officer and then he left.

I slept until the doctor came in and gave me a once over. He signed the order to have me begin walking and said if I didn't develop a fever by the following morning I could leave. I was grateful my open access for Natalie would be ending soon, but hopefully mom scared her away for good.

I wanted a shower and to feel the cold tile on my feet. The room was closing in on me and I wanted to see what was beyond my limited view. In my eagerness to have the tubing connected from my dangler to a collection bag removed, I took off my hospital gown and put the bed in an upright position.

I wasn't going to be too picky about the nurse who came in to help me. There was an older woman who had been really sweet to me, but I was kind of hoping for the young night nurse who always washed her hands with hot water so they wouldn't be cold against my skin.

I heard the footsteps coming and knew freedom would be in just a matter of moments. I watched the door open slowly and a familiar face stared back at me. I knew I had seen this person before so I began running through my memories. I couldn't quite place it until I heard, "My name is Darrell, and I'll be your nurse this evening. Now, let's get that nasty catheter out of that pretty body."

Damn that Lance, if he hadn't been high when he shot me he would have had better aim. It was a glaring example of why you should say no to drugs.


	33. Chapter 33

33

I tried not to let my almost murder interfere with the progress of the club. I had been stumped about a name, but Casey's words motivated me. I had a large sign made for the building that read: _**Don't Budge, a club where you'll want to stay and play.**_

I was holding a special grand opening and invited all the family. Grandpa and Grandma Cullen were coming with Trooper and Emma from Seattle. Jasper was closing his club for a night and bringing Alice to see all the changes I had made to dads. Dreamer and Patrick got a sitter who would watch Mariella along with Dyno and Sable. Grandpa and Grandma Swan were planning on showing up too.

I would have everyone I loved there for the big night, and I was praying it would go smoothly. Dad had promised to sing and Jasmine wouldn't give me a yes or no. I guess she will just wait to see how she feels at the time.

My favorite part of the club was the large dancing area in front of the stage. It was covered in sand and everyone was required to remove their shoes. Food and drinks couldn't be served there due to health laws, but I didn't care. If people were having a ball they would stick around to eat and drink.

The back area had a large sand volleyball court and pool tables. The upper level was more traditional where people could watch the band and singers or sit and talk as they eat and drink. Jasmine designed the uniforms for the staff. They were comfortable and casual to make the place feel just like a night on the beach.

I put on some jeans and a button down shirt before heading downstairs on my big day. Mom was in the kitchen and she looked up and smiled. "Are you excited?" she asked.

"I just hope people show up," I told her and grabbed some chocolate chips from the bucket.

She looked back at the stairs to see if Jasmine was around and then said, "You should have invited everyone you've slept with, it would have filled the place."

I immediately pictured Natalie and almost said how she alone could fill the place, but I was able to stop myself before sending mom into a diabetic coma. I wanted the club to be a success not just for my own ego, but especially so dad could feel confident enough to go see the world with mom.

"I hope dad likes the changes," I said hesitantly. "Maybe you'll be headed to Disney World soon."

Mom didn't respond and turned away from me. I walked around to see her face and she looked like she was about to cry. "Is something wrong, mom?"

She shook her head back and forth and I began to grow nervous. If it was something she couldn't put a voice to I was really worried. "Mom, come on, you can confide in me."

"It's your big night, Budge," she said sadly. "I don't want to ruin anything."

Now I was ready to panic. Something big was going on and she felt it would ruin the grand opening if she said anything. I was pissed at myself for telling Trooper to come right to the club; I could use him here right now. I put my arm around my mother and held a chocolate chip out for her to open her mouth. She finally obliged and I said, "Mom, what has you upset? Is it something with dad?"

She looked at me with such a sad expression and said very softly, "Your father has gone crazy."

I smiled and tried to hide my laughter. "Why do you think that?"

"He wants to buy a stream of air so we can travel around the country. I don't think they will let you buy those, but he said he found the one he wants. You can't see air, Budge."

I pretended to give it some thought and rubbed my chin for a moment. I finally said, "Maybe he was thinking of an Airstream, which is a travel trailer, and got it confused."

She thought about my words and I could see her mind working. She took a deep breath and said, "Thank God, I would still love him if he went crazy, but I wouldn't travel the country with him."

Dad came walking down the stairs adjusting his new jeans Dreamer made him wear. They were skinny jeans and I could tell he felt uncomfortable. He looked at his watch and then up at me. "I know, I'm leaving," I said so he would relax.

"I'll ride with you," he said, "Jasper is coming early too."

I didn't know if they were excited or worried about what I had done. I nodded and he walked over to give my mom a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up to wrap her legs around him too. "You look so hot," she said with a giggle, and then they began kissing passionately.

I had seen this scene my entire life when dad would leave for the club. I groaned loudly and said, "Would you two cut it out. Watch what I do. Jas," I yelled loudly, "I'm leaving now."

"Okay," she screamed from upstairs. "Good luck, baby. And don't call me Jas again, dumbass."

I looked at mom and dad as I laughed and said, "God I love her."

Dad and I drove to the club and when I pulled into the parking lot he took a deep breath. I knew this would be difficult for him and I felt like I was pushing him aside or trying to fill his shoes. I looked at him and said, "Dad, it is still your club."

"No Budge, this is yours, you built this not me."

I walked with him to the back door and used the electronic key pad to get inside. He looked around at all the changes and I could see a smile growing on his face. He walked onto the stage and laughed as he threw his arms into the air. "Wow, this is amazing."

"You really think so?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Budge, you're a visionary," he said and headed upstairs to see the VIP rooms. It didn't matter if nobody showed up tonight. Dad was impressed and that was good enough for me.

Jasper showed up next and walked through the back door and looked at the place with an unemotional expression. He walked behind the bar and stood with his hands behind his back as he stared at me. His blue eyes were large and intimidating. I felt like he could see through me, like he knew the things I did to his daughter in the dark of night.

I could feel my nerves getting the best of me and he finally spoke. "Budge, ah like it," he said with his accent.

Whew, he acted like he was going to receive a colonoscopy instead of attending a party. I didn't know Jasper well, but he was scary because he was my father-in-law. I was even more terrified for him to find out he wasn't officially my father-in-law.

The band arrived and then the staff showed up. The bouncer and my personal body guard stood by the door and I looked at my father. "Ready?" he asked me.

I nodded and took a deep breath before giving the sign for the doors to be opened. I was surprised to see a steady stream of people. The club filled up quickly and a line remained outside the entire night. Jasmine found me and gave me a big kiss.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered.

"For the club or for last night?" I asked, because it was the first time I was able to get funky since the shooting.

"Last night," she laughed. "The club means nothing."

I leaned over to pick her up in my arms and squeezed her tightly. I felt like everything in my life was leading up to this moment. I finally had everything I ever wanted.

Trooper approached me and patted me on the back. "You've done a great job," he said. There was something in his smile that seemed a bit off. I knew Trooper better than anyone, if fact it was the reason for most of the contention between me and Emma over the years.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Great, everything is going well," he replied, but Trooper would never admit to anything being less than fine in his life.

"Have some drinks and enjoy the night," I told him, and he nodded and walked away.

Dreamer was the next person I saw and she was looking around the place as she tried to take everything in. Patrick waved and I smiled to him. It would be impossible to talk to my sister until she was confident in her mind she had seen everything.

I finally saw my mother and walked over to offer her a tour. She ooh'd and ah'd over everything until we got upstairs. The lower level was filled with belly bars, tall round tables where people could stand and rest their drinks, but the upper area had booths with square, stone table tops.

She ran her fingers over a table and then raised them to wipe a tear. I put my arm around her and said, "Mom, most of the world are squares, we have to accept it."

She shook her head and raised her chin to take on my notion. "If we accept it things will never change. There are people out there who are squiggles but they are too afraid to let it be known. They are stuck inside the box where everything is normal, average, and predictable. It isn't right, Budge."

I looked down at the gorgeous stone table tops and felt ashamed of myself for settling for what was fast and easy….like Natalie. "I'll have the tables reworked," I promised her.

She smiled and shocked me by saying, "Can you do Jasmine on one first and send me a picture?"

"Wha…."

"Bella," dad yelled, and we both turned to see my father looking a bit pale and a man with really tight pants, much tighter than dad's tight jeans, smiling back at us.

Mom screamed loudly and ran at Eric. He waited until she was a foot from him and then jumped behind my dad. Mom crashed into dad and pushed him and Eric into the wall. Dad was a pretty open-minded guy but when Eric wrapped his arms around dad's waist and held him tightly I did notice how quickly dad pulled away.

"What are you doing in Washington?" Mom squealed. "Oh my God, did they find out you were Northern and run you out of the South?"

"I was visiting my sister and stopped by The Cube. Jasper told me about this and I just had to come," he said, and they held hands and jumped up and down together.

"Do you see anyone you want to meet? I'll introduce you to anyone," Mom offered, without asking if Eric was still in a relationship.

He nodded enthusiastically and pointed. Mom followed his glance and I found my own head turning to see what type of man Eric preferred. I saw my bodyguard look around nervously and then move behind me when he realized it was him who was being pointed at.

"You're supposed to protect me," I protested.

"From bullets, not being poked in the ass," he said angrily. Yeah, I could see his point. If I was six foot five and weighed two hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle I would refuse to take a poke too.

I went back to enjoying mom and Eric's reunion when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and saw a beautiful blonde smiling at me. She looked a little familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She finally spoke and said, "You don't remember me do you?"

I was going to lie and tell her of course I did, that we spent a wonderful evening that I would never forget, but I spoke honestly instead. "You look very familiar but I can't place you."

"I was your student teacher at Port Angeles high," she said, and I laughed loudly. I glanced over at mom to make sure she didn't notice Paige. I was happy she came to the grand opening, but I also wanted to rub it in a bit that she picked my old man over me.

"Are you here to see my dad perform?"

She blushed and looked down at her shoes before saying, "You were my student, Budge, and you wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to do something extreme."

"So you weren't into my dad?" I asked in surprise.

She smiled and shook her head back and forth before leaning closer and saying, "I came to see only you tonight."

Wow, the hot student teacher didn't reject me for my dad and I let my mom humiliate her in front of the entire club. I felt a bit guilty and wished she would have been more open eleven years ago; my senior year would have been more exciting if my attempt at discovery would have gone better.

I leaned in to whisper in her ear and heard her inhale nervously. "Paige," I said, blowing my hot breath against her flesh.

"Yes?" she said with a shaky voice.

"You would have better luck with my dad." Then I walked away and headed down the stairs to find Jasmine.


	34. Chapter 34

34

There were only two people in the family who wouldn't fit into the club, any club really. It wasn't that they didn't like music or a drink or two. It was because they found crowds of young people offensive in some way. I saw my Grandpa Cullen dressed in a suit and tie as he looked around with a grimace on his face.

I wondered for a moment why nobody ever shot him, and then quickly looked around for mom because she would be most likely to do it. My grandmother walked up to his side and saw me looking at them. She smiled and waved me over.

I approached them and said, "I think you'll be more comfortable upstairs in a VIP room."

"Grandpa and I don't mind getting down," she said in an attempt to be hip.

"Far out," I teased. "Get a drink and just, you know, be groovy." I patted grandpa on the back and continued on to find Jasmine. I saw her talking with Trooper and I could feel my chest tighten. I walked up and they immediately stopped talking. "What's up?" I asked, pissed to think they were keeping something from me.

"Nothing," Trooper said, and looked guilty as hell. "The club is a hit, enjoy your night."

He walked away and I turned to face Jasmine. I wasn't going to let her lie to me or omit anything. Something was up with my saintly brother and I wanted to know what it was. "Tell me," I demanded.

She quickly took my hand and pulled me to the back offices. I was a bit relieved to see my bodyguard shadowing us, since Jasmine would be the one I should fear the most. She didn't open any of the doors but stood close to me in the hallway.

At this point I expected to hear Trooper had a deadly disease or he caught Emma cheating on him. I wouldn't be surprised to hear T.J. was not really his son. Jasmine looked into my eyes and my heart held still as I prepared to hear something horrible.

"Trooper wants to ask you for a donation, but he feels horrible about it," she said.

I stared at her as I tried to figure out how his actions could be due to her words. "Oh," I finally said as something dawned on me. "He needs my sperm….wait, why does he need my sperm?"

"Why would Trooper want your sperm?" she asked as she smacked my arm.

"You said a donation," I pointed out.

"Money, not spittle," she laughed. "I'm sure your sperm is all over this city. He could wipe his shoe and have your DNA."

I ignored her comment, because yeah, it was true. I had no idea why Trooper would feel badly about asking me for money. I would give him all I had if he asked. Money was for the purpose of making and losing. If I lost it all I would just make more.

I went back into the club and saw Trooper standing with Emma at a Belly bar. I walked up and put my arm around his shoulder. "Remember when I glued myself to the toilet seat?" I said.

Trooper laughed and so did Emma. We were desperate to get my ass unglued before dad got home. Trooper got a knife and had to run it under my skin slowly and accurately to get me detached. I pointed at the large guy watching me closely. "I'm paying him to keep me alive, but I should have been paying you for all the times you saved me."

"You were my little brother, I saved you happily," he said, because he was still so damn perfect.

I looked at him with a serious expression and said, "And you were my big brother, and I want to do something for you, happily."

He stared at me for a moment without responding and then nodded before saying, "A donor backed out. I have a groundbreaking for a small hospital in Somalia but if the funds aren't ready by Tuesday we lose the land and all the previous payments."

"It's yours," I said.

"You haven't heard how much," Trooper said. "I would use my own money, but it is in a trust and it would take too long to run it past the board of directors."

"I don't care about the amount, it is yours," I said again. "You can have my shoes too."

"A quarter million dollars," he said softly as if the amount would change my mind. "And I have no interest in your shoes."

"Done," I said without blinking my eyes. It also gave me a great idea. I never did anything specific with my money and I decided to make Trooper's foundation my cause of choice. It made me feel wonderful that I could help out my perfect brother. I felt a bit perfected….well, a bit.

I walked to the stage and turned on the wireless microphone. "Can I have your attention," I said loudly and the club slowly began to quiet. "I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight and I want you to know all the proceeds will go to build a school in Somalia. So have fun, drink up, and enjoy the night."

The crowd cheered loudly so I decided to give them a real treat. "Dad," I called out, "Why don't you jump up here and honor us with a song?"

They all chanted, "Edward, Edward," as he came from the upper level to the stage. I kicked off my flip flops and jumped down onto the sand. I looked around and waved for everyone in the family to come closer. I was a bit shocked when Grandpa and Grandma Cullen took off their shoes, but Grandpa and Grandma Swan seemed to really enjoy it.

Mom made her way to the front and center as she stared at dad lovingly. He spoke with the band for a moment and then held the mic and said, "Bella baby, this is for you."

The band began to play a familiar song for all the ages present in the club. It was loud, fast and upbeat. The crowd cheered and everyone began dancing with energy as dad sang, _I'm a Believer_.

_I thought love was  
>Only true in fairy tales<br>Meant for someone else  
>But not for me<br>Love was out to get to me  
>That's the way it seems<br>Disappointment haunted  
>All my dreams<em>

_And then I saw her face  
>Now I'm a believer<br>Not a trace  
>Of doubt in my mind<br>I'm in love  
>I'm a believer<br>I couldn't leave her  
>If I tried<br>_

Trooper and Emma were dancing slowly in each other's arms to the fast music, hearing a beat of their own. Jasper had Alice in front of him as they swayed to the song. Patrick and Dreamer were dancing freestyle with some weird snake like movements. Grandpa and Grandma Swan were doing a swing dance that made them look like pros, as Grandpa and Grandma Cullen stood perfectly still.

_I thought love was  
>More or less a given thing<br>The more I gave the less  
>I got, oh yeah<br>What's the use in trying  
>All you get is pain<br>When I wanted sunshine  
>I got rain<em>

_And then I saw her face  
>Now I'm a believer<br>Not a trace  
>Of doubt in my mind<br>I'm in love  
>I'm a believer<br>I couldn't leave her  
>If I tried<br>_  
>I could tell the song meant something to my father and he sang directly to my mother as she sat on the edge of the stage staring up at him. But I felt the words too. I never thought I would find love because I didn't believe I needed it. Jasmine made me a believer. I pulled her to me, gyrating against her as I smiled from ear to ear at the song.<p>

"Are you starting something you can't finish?" she challenged me.

"It's not about the finish," I said, and she laughed loudly.

"Oh Budge, it is totally about the finish."

I began moving backward out of the sand and she nodded in agreement. I could take her to my office, to the storage room, to a VIP room and lock it, or to the equipment closet. I was working out the pros and cons of each area when someone called out her name.

We both turned to see Dad holding out the microphone. Man, I wanted to hear her sing but I had another body part much more anxious for her attention. If I was going to let her out of my arms I at least wanted to finish, because it really, really was about the finish.

She pulled away and jumped onto the stage as mom attacked dad to finish him off. I watched angrily but my mood lightened as Jasmine spoke to the band and then turned to face me under the spotlight. The tempo slowed and the lights dimmed as she sang like an angel with a breathy voice.

_I can feel the magic floating in the air  
>Being with you gets me that way<br>I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've  
>Never been this swept away<em>

_All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze  
>When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms<br>The whole world just fades away  
>The only thing I hear<br>Is the beating of your heart_

_'Cause I can feel you breathe  
>It's washing over me<br>Suddenly I'm melting into you  
>There's nothing left to prove<br>Baby all we need is just to be  
>Caught up in the touch<br>The slow and steady rush  
>Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be<br>I can feel you breathe  
>Just breathe<em>

It was funny that she was singing about breathing, because I felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I was suffocating from my love for her. Everyone paired off and held the one they loved tightly as I looked around the crowded sand. I was surrounded by lovers who were loyal to each other. I was so lucky.

I walked to the stage and Jasmine came over to lean down and sing right to me. I smiled and decided right then I would take her to the VIP room. She earned it.

_In a way I know my heart is waking up  
>As all the walls come tumbling down<br>I'm closer than I've ever felt before  
>And I know<br>And you know  
>There's no need for words right now<em>

_'Cause I can feel you breathe  
>It's washing over me<br>Suddenly I'm melting into you  
>There's nothing left to prove<br>Baby all we need is just to be  
>Caught up in the touch<br>The slow and steady rush  
>Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be<br>I can feel you breathe  
>Just breathe<em>

The night was incredible and I felt confident the club would be profitable and a big draw compared to some of the other clubs in the area. I got home late and collapsed into bed. When I woke up the next morning it was already ten.

I headed downstairs for something to eat and looked around the quiet house to see I was home alone. I put a bagel in the toaster just as the front doorbell rang. I opened it to find Dyno looking up at me.

"How was your night?" he asked, like he was my business partner or financial advisor.

I didn't answer his question but posed one of my own. "Where is everyone?"

"They went to Forks. Did you have a good night?"

I looked at his shirt that read, Demitri, and pointed at it. "What does that mean?"

"It's my name," he protested. Hum, I didn't know that. I really liked the idea of his name being Dyno and now Dreamer let me down by giving him a normal name.

I nodded and stepped out of the way to let him come inside. "I'm making a bagel, do you want one?"

He followed me to the kitchen and asked, "Do you have any donuts?"

"No. How about a cookie?" I offered in exchange.

"Will you tell my mother?"

I laughed and handed him four just to piss off Dreamer. Ruining his appetite was appropriate for a stupid name like Demitri. He sat at the table and I leaned against the counter and watched him. He finally asked for the third time, "Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah, it was great. I finished strong," I said with a chuckle, knowing he wouldn't understand.

"So, you'll stay in Washington?" he asked me, and stopped chewing to wait for my answer.

I realized he must have heard his mom and dad talking about the possibility the club would fail and I would return to Bolivia. I decided to tease him a bit and said, "Maybe, I might go to Alaska, do you want to come with me?"

"What will you do in Alaska?" he pressed.

"Wrestle Polar bears," I said with a straight face.

He rolled his eyes and said with confidence, "They are protected, you can't wrestle them."

I grabbed my bagel and sat across from him as I took a bite. I chewed for a moment and then asked, "What's the best dinosaur?"

"The Utahraptor was the most vicious, but the T-Rex was a killing machine too. I'm partial to the Sarcosuchus; it was ten times bigger than a modern day crocodile."

I took another bite and pointed at him as I said, "You're freaky."

He smiled up at me and said, "I like you Uncle Budge, you're a lot of fun."

"I like you too," I said honestly. "Go throw on some old clothes and we'll go frog hunting."

He jumped up with enthusiasm and ran toward the door. He suddenly doubled back and said, "Will you wait right here?"

I thought about how often I worried about being stuck in this state, this city, this house, but now it was all I could ever imagine giving me peace. I didn't care if Natalie was around, I had a bodyguard now. Jasmine and I would raise Mariella similar to the way I was raised; free to be who she is on the inside.

I looked at Dyno's eager face and said, "I won't budge, I promise."

THE END


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